Child Swap
by Jasminta Blossom
Summary: After a prank on Tybalt goes too far, the Capulets and the Montagues are forced to swap children for two weeks and the results are televised to the rest of Verona. Fantastic. But will they discover that they have more in common than at odds?
1. Swapsies

Hello readers! Welcome to my new story. I really like my idea for this story, and I have a lot of chapters already written up, so updates shouldn't take too long. Thank you for all your support on my other story. It isn't on hiatus, I just find it hard to update on that one, as it isn't in a modern day setting.

I would also like to let you know that although Romeo and Juliet happened in a week, let's pretend for the sake of my story they've been going out longer, ok?

If any of you don't know what a 'chav' is, it's British slang, just look it up on urbandictionary.

* * *

"That was not funny!" snarled Escalus, slamming his hands onto the desk. Romeo and Mercutio nevertheless sniggered. Benvolio shook his head and ran a hand through his messy hair. Tybalt, however, sat on the other side of the room, and seethed as he dripped with water. Mercutio gave a sideways glance, and laughed again.

"No! Don't laugh! It's not funny!" roared Escalus.

"Stop laughing, Mercutio" hissed Benvolio under his breath. Mercutio swallowed, and pursed his lips. The door opened, and Lord Capulet walked in.

"I've got you a towel, Tybalt"

"Thank you" said Tybalt, but poison dripped from his words like the water running down his face. Lord Capulet passed him the towel, and Tybalt wrapped it around himself. Lord Capulet leant back.

"So, Escalus, what kind of punishment will you hand out to these three... offenders?"

"I didn't do anything!" protested Benvolio. He was ignored.

"I am currently thinking of a solution" Escalus drummed his nails on the desk and sighed "But, as I'm sure you are aware, Tybalt was the one who began the fight"

"It wasn't me! They started making cat noises at me and saying stupid stuff about people with ginger hair and-"

"Enough!" Escalus commanded "Either way, you're all to blame. Tybalt, you're older than these three, and should know better. If you'd simply ignored them, and walked away, then you wouldn't have been chucked in the fountain in the first place!"

Tybalt gave him a filthy glare "I can't"

"Don't criticise Tybalt for taking pride in his family and appearance!"

The door banged open and Lord Montague stood there "What's all this I hear about Romeo chucking Tybalt in a fountain? That's ridiculous. Romeo might be strong but he's not strong enough to pick up an ugly brute like that chav!"

"I'm not a chav or an ugly brute like you say!" yelled Tybalt.

"You tell him, Tybalt!"

Romeo and Mercutio burst out laughing again.

"It wasn't me who did the picking up" sniggered Romeo.

"No, but you did the shoving" added Mercutio.

"And Benvolio did the splashing" Romeo added again.

"Stop it, it was a stupid thing to do!" hissed Benvolio.

"Well, at least it seems you've learnt your lesson" Escalus smarted. Benvolio nodded slowly.

"Hey, don't say that! We've just taught him to swear!" exclaimed Mercutio.

"This isn't a joke" Escalus stated "Right. I have reached a decision-"

"And hopefully your hell child nephew is going to get it in the neck this time. I don't know how either of you live with these little brats under your roofs" muttered Lord Capulet. Escalus slowly turned purple.

"Right. That's it. I have a better idea. For two weeks, you and Lord Montague are going to swap children. Tybalt and all under eighteens in your family shall stay with the Montagues, and Romeo and all under eighteens in the Montague family shall stay with you. The aim of this is to bridge peace by learning to understand one another, and besides" Escalus added as an afterthought "Most of children still have a chance to change their ways"

The six looked at him in horror. Tybalt was the first to speak.

"No. Way!" he shouted.

"Yes way. Do it, or I'll take your driving license away for the time you crashed your Vauxhall Nova into the palace walls"

Tybalt glanced down, colour flooding his cheeks. Romeo and Mercutio had begun to laugh again, but soon remembered the punishment.

"I'm not staying with Eugene" retorted Romeo.

"My name is Egues!" snarled Lord Capulet "And no, Escalus, I will not house these brats in my home! And I refuse for my daughter to live in the pigsty that is called the Montague Ranch!"

"How dare you insult my home!" Lord Montague snarled back.

"Silence! I will not tolerate this level of disrespect. Right. That's it. This 'experiment' will go again, and to make it worse for the both of you, it shall be televised to the rest of Verona!"

"My room's a tip!" Romeo protested.

"Exactly. That's why your house is called, a pigsty" swarmed Tybalt.

"Oh, listen, Romeo! He made a witty remake!" exclaimed Mercutio.

"He did, didn't he?" Romeo replied "Never mind. I'll trash the Capulet Manor and make that a pigsty too"

"Well, I don't live there, I live with my mum and our ten cats. So the only person who'll get cross is Uncle Egues"

"That's the aim. Why annoy you when I can annoy the grand Capulet himself?" Romeo smirked. Benvolio gawped, and Mercutio grinned and snickered at his friend's defiance.

"And when he gets bored of being in there, he'll come to mine. I don't have to stay in the Capulet Haunted Castle"

"You're taking part too, Mercutio. I've decided you are too close to a particular side in the feud for your own good"

Mercutio's jaw dropped "That's not fair! I don't want to go and stay there! And Romeo's been my best friend since he was born, and you know it. You're a rubbish uncle!"

Escalus' jaw dropped "That's it. I'll be having a word with your mother, and I'm now all the more determined to do this. I'm sick of the feud. Look, there are bags under my eyes and my hair is grey because of much time and energy I've spent dealing with this pathetic feud. Go home, and get your kids to pack their bags"


	2. The Montague Ranch

Tybalt and Juliet gathered outside the gate.

"So what do we do?" asked Tybalt, looking around. It was evening. The cool air wafted past his face. A few lights around the Ranch were alight, so they could just about still see one another.

"The same thing we do to get into the Capulet Manor" replied Juliet "Press the button!" She reached out and slapped a button on the gate.

"Can I help you?" asked the voice of a guard in the intercom.

Juliet glanced at Tybalt, but he was too busy sulking. Nervously, she said into the intercom "It's the Capulet kids coming to stay for two weeks" The gates creaked open reluctantly and the two heaved their suitcases up the pathway. Tybalt had not spoken, and was chewing his lip, something he did when he was too angry to speak.

"Just think, we can always host a raid on their kitchen. I heard their cook is meant to be one of the best" Juliet added hopefully. But all the same, she couldn't shake off those nerves.

"Don't count on it. I bet they've put rat poison on everything. I bet they try to kill us in our sleep. You aren't to leave my sight"

Juliet sighed, and they made their way up the pathway. The Montague Ranch was a little complex for them. For one, it had a swimming pool, a few statues, shrubbery and benches and the walls of the house were built around it. The main door appeared to be nonexistent. There was another gate at the top of the path, and that was where they could see into the pool.

"Where do we go?" asked Juliet.

"I have no idea" replied Tybalt. He shook the wooden gate, but finding it to be too difficult to open, clamoured over instead. After that, he pulled over his suitcase. Juliet copied, and they found themselves in the inner ring.

"I always imagined my first visit to the Montague Ranch involving a fight of some sort" admitted Tybalt "Or theft"

"You've got to stop getting in trouble"

Tybalt shrugged "What else is there to do? Hey look, at the pool. Shall I go piss in it?"

"Urgh! Tybalt!" shrieked Juliet, but she couldn't mask her giggles "You're so...bad!"

Tybalt snorted "Ah, well. You like me being naughty, anyways. If I wasn't such a bad boy, I wouldn't have taken you to get your belly pierced. Has anyone noticed yet?"

"No" Juliet shook her head "It's healed up well and I can change it next week"

"Good. I was worried it would get infected and you'd have to tell your dad. Did you show your friends?"

"Yeah. They think it's great. They reckon you're best cousin ever. One wants her nose done as well, but her parents won't let her and you can't keep that a secret"

"Ah well. She can always have it done when she's an adult. Rosaline's mum let her have her belly done when she was even younger. It's a shame she had to get the flu. I could do with her right now"

"I'm not going to try and interpret what you mean by that" Juliet muttered drily.

They crossed the yard, and found an open arch "It must be freezing in the winter"

"Nah, I heard this part of the house is closed off then. And they can afford big electricity bills and stuff. Let's just look around for a bit. Didn't they say Lady Montague was going to greet us?"

"I think so. But she's not anywhere, and we came through the gate"

"Maybe we could steal their money and stuff that would fetch a high price, and then run, without them ever knowing we came"

"Tybalt, you mustn't!"

"I'm joking. I wouldn't want their dirty money even if I had to beg" scorned Tybalt. They turned a corridor, and attempted to open a door. It was locked, so Tybalt shoved his weight against it, and they were in.

"I think we're in the house now" Juliet whispered.

"Me too. Why are we whispering?"

"I don't know!"

They found some stairs, and climbed them. They glanced around, at portraits of the founders of the Montague family, and a family tree. Juliet pointed out Romeo and Benvolio's names, and Tybalt mimed puking. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and reached over.

"Tybalt, no!" Juliet batted his hands away. Tybalt retreated with a grin and put the pen away. They opened another door, to find a bathroom. Tybalt waved them onwards, and they turned around a corner of the house to find more doors.

"What is in all these doors?" asked Juliet.

"I reckoned they've got prisons. Prisons, full of us Capulets"

"Don't be daft"

"I'm not being daft. We better watch our backs. They might drug us asleep or something, and before you know it we'll be drowning in the river with a concrete block tied to our feet"

"Not funny, Tybalt. You tell the worst jokes"

"That's because I'm not an idiotic clown like Mercutio thinks he is"

They turned the fourth corner on the long corridor.

"Hey, look at that! They've got a parrot!" Juliet ran over and knelt outside the cage. Tybalt followed over, and gently knocked on the cage door.

"Alright, mate?"

"**** off!"

"It swore at me!"

"It's Romeo and Mercutio's swearing parrot! Everyone knows about Romeo and Mercutio's swearing parrot!"

"Romeo and Mercutio have a swearing parrot?" asked Tybalt bewildered.

"Yeah! This is Flash. Romeo got a parrot for his birthday, and Mercutio taught it to swear. Hermia told me"

"Well, if this is Romeo's parrot, then who's bedroom door is this?" asked Tybalt, poking at a sign.

"This hall must be where all the bedrooms are"

"Bingo" grinned Tybalt, pushing at the handle "Oh, man! It's locked"

"You don't want to go in there, do you?"

"Yeah! Apparently, according to Hermia, he has a voodoo doll of me. And, I was going to give him a taste of his own medicine, and trash the place too. He said he would trash your house when Escalus was telling us off and that"

Juliet rolled her eyes "We better be going. They might think we're up to something"

They ended up following the corridor around again, and then Tybalt opened a door to a flight of stairs back down. The sound of people talking wafted up to them.

"Maybe it's the film crew. They said they were going to film it and broadcast it to the rest of Verona"

"Or maybe it's the kitchens. I can smell food" Juliet sniffed.

"Let's go down. We can ask them where to go" Tybalt carried her suitcase down the stairs for her, and then returned for his. He opened a door wide, and was about to walk through, when...

"Woof!"

"They've got dogs!"

"Oh ****!" cursed Tybalt "I hate dogs!"

A miniature schnauzer bounded out from the door and stood at their feet. He barked several times.

"It's tiny!" scoffed Juliet.

"There's more!" Tybalt shouted, pointing.

"They're just dogs!"

"Don't you remember when Mercutio's dog bit me!" snapped back Tybalt "I still have a scar!"

"Yeah, I do, and – eek!" Juliet recoiled as a Chihuahua bounced up at her. A westie joined in, and they surrounded the two.

"I don't like this" stated Tybalt, stepping backwards. Juliet tried a second door, and to their relief it was open.

"Run!"

Tybalt leapt out and Juliet attempted to slam the door, but the schnauzer was in the way. She didn't want to hurt it, so she left it there. Tybalt ran furiously. He hated dogs, and dogs hated him. His mother had ten cats, and that meant he constantly smelt like them too, leaving him a readymade fiend for the canine species.

They found themselves back out the courtyard.

"Now what?" demanded Tybalt, as the dogs bounded out after them.

"Here, nice doggy. Aren't you cute?" Juliet said, taking a step back. The dogs barked at her again, and she squealed "Tybalt, I don't like them either!"

"Oi! Montagues!" yelled Tybalt "Come and get rid of these horrible dogs!"

"Eeep!" squeaked Juliet, as they rounded on them. Tybalt batted the air at them, and then yelled as one bit onto his hand and clung on. He waved it around. The dog flew off, as blood poured down Tybalt's wrist and arm. Juliet screamed in horror, and started to freak out.

"What's all this noise?"


	3. The Capulet Manor

Wow, chapter 3 is up! Thanks to my first reviewer, I'm glad it made you laugh. Lots of you may recall that in canon Juliet seldom leaves the house. Well, for the sake of the story, let's pretend she sneaks out to see Romeo. Ok?

* * *

Romeo and Mercutio laughed their way to the Capulet Manor, whilst Benvolio trailed behind miserably. It wasn't until they were one road away before they stopped.

"Now I think about it, this is going to be hell" said Romeo.

"We'll have some fun" assured Mercutio.

"I'm worried about my mum, too. During the day, she'll be stuck in that house with none other than Tybalt Capulet. He and his mates did a raid on another rival gang's place. What if I come home and he's nicked all our stuff?"

"Why would he want our stuff? It would have Montague germs all other it" added Benvolio.

"Yeah. Benvolio's right. Tybalt will probably have nipped down the off licence by now to buy a bottle of bleach and rubber gloves. He wouldn't want anything to do with us" reasoned Mercutio.

"Tybalt, buying cleaning materials? Tybalt is the most unhygienic person I've ever met. When we shoved him the fountain, his breath absolutely reeked of booze and fags. And there's dirt under his nails and I bet he doesn't use deodorant" gossiped Romeo.

"Then it's a good job we pushed him in the fountain. Gave a him a bit of a wash" giggled Mercutio "I don't get why Rosaline would want that sweaty old thug huffing and puffing on top of her all night"

"Mercutio..." groaned Romeo.

"Sorry" shrugged Mercutio.

"It was mean of her to do that to you" Benvolio said "I can't believe you even liked that ice queen bitch"

"Don't worry, kiddo. I've moved on" Romeo stood up straight. The Capulet Manor loomed into view. Benvolio shivered, and Mercutio stared at the highest tower.

"God, you'd expect bats to be flapping out the tower" he remarked.

"Bats don't come out until night"

"It's late evening now. Look out!" screamed Mercutio pointing. Benvolio screeched and ducked. Romeo burst out laughing.

"That was a good one, Mercutio!" he snorted. Benvolio calmed himself and glared at his cousin and good friend.

"I hate you"

"Nah, you don't. You love us really!" Mercutio pulled Benvolio into a headlock and they began to play fight. Romeo sighed fondly. After five minutes, both boys joined Romeo and they made their way to the gate. It was tall, high, and made of wrought iron. Several spikes prodded up in the air.

"Is that to keep the Capulets in, or the Montagues out?" asked Benvolio.

"Both. I don't think Daddy Capulet wants his little Juliet going out with boys at night"

"Already does" said Romeo, flitting over to the code. He didn't know it, so he pressed the buzzer "Yoohoo! Capulets! It's the Montague boys!"

The gates groaned open. They nervously walked up the long path apprehensively. The land was of bumpy terrain, unlike the sprawling flat Montague Ranch. Evergreen trees dotted the place, and a couple of rose bushes gave a sweet scent. And cat yowled, and they jumped.

"It's probably Fluffy" said Romeo "Juliet's cat. Harmless"

"Or it's a sabre tooth tiger" teased Mercutio "Who fancies a tasty Montague for his dinner" He slapped his hands on Benvolio's shoulders from behind. Benvolio shrieked and Mercutio laughed.

"I wonder if Eugene is actually going to greet us"

"I don't know. Hey! When he's out, let's go in his room and look for his secret diary or something"

"Or look in his bathroom cabinet and see what secret ailments trouble him"

"That's enough" said Benvolio sternly "I don't want to hear anymore"

"Are you sure?" asked Mercutio "I've got some more tricks up my sleeve!"

"No!" Benvolio stuffed his fingers in his ears, Mercutio shrugged and they reached the top of the path. There was a little courtyard, and a set of steps that lead up to the door. It was easier to understand than the Montague's house. Mercutio, being the most confident about this situation, rung the doorbell. Romeo and Benvolio felt butterflies rising in their stomachs.

The door opened, to reveal Juliet's Nurse.

"Nursie!" cried Mercutio excitedly.

"Not you!" cried the nurse with anguish.

Mercutio giggled "I'm here to stay! Oooh! We're going to have such fun! This just gets better and better!"

"Get in the house" said the nurse, holding the door aside "Romeo, my boy. How nice to see you again"

"Hello, nurse" greeted Romeo. Benvolio frowned, but none the less shrugged it off. He knew who the nurse was, but couldn't remember when she and Romeo had met.

"Lord Capulet has told me that I am to bring you into the living room, where and his lady wife will greet you personally"

"Can I call him Eugene?" asked Mercutio.

"No! It is his strict orders that you are to call him Lord Capulet. Or there will be trouble in this house"

"All right, all right. We'll be good. Sometimes" Mercutio swarmed, looking around. He had been in here before. Occasionally, he'd be invited to a party. One time, he had been delighted to follow his Uncle Escalus on errands and they fetched up here, having a meeting with Lord Capulet about some boring government business. And once he and Hermia came back here to watch TV. So it wasn't all that imposing. Benvolio and Romeo were awestruck. They'd only come here once when they snuck in for a party.

Romeo was creeped out by the stone statues. Some were demons with angry snarls. After staring at them all, he decided one resembled Tybalt. Benvolio disliked the high halls and echoing footsteps of the servants. It was chilly in here. He wanted to be back home, with his dad. He even wanted his annoying twin sister who had got out of this by being an exchange student. It was funny. Beatrix couldn't speak a word of French, or a word of German, or any language, yet she had managed to get on the trip. Benvolio was a little too shy when it came to meeting people and he elected to stay in Verona. But now this...

"Lord Capulet will show you to your rooms. Through here please"

He followed the other two boys and they sat on the sofa quietly. Each of them passed the other nervous little grins. They waited for ten minutes, and what seemed like hours, until they heard the distinctive click of Lord Capulet's shiny shoes.


	4. Dining At The Montagues

Thanks to my second reviewer! Yes, Romeo and Juliet are together in this, but it's a secret, so don't tell, ok?

* * *

After being rescued from the dogs, Tybalt and Juliet sat at the dinner table. Tybalt's hand was swaddled in bandages and antiseptic cream. He'd refused painkillers, and grit his teeth.

"I'm sorry about my babies" said Lady Montague carelessly. She didn't sound sorry.

"They're not babies, they're dogs" corrected Tybalt, rubbing his arm.

"They're my dogs, and my babies" she glared "They don't take to kindly to Capulets"

"We noticed"

"It could have been worse. When Mercutio set his dog on Tybalt, it bit him on the leg and he still has a scar. That won't scar, though. There was just a lot of blood"

"Shut up" hissed Tybalt. Lady Montague raised her eyebrow.

"You shouldn't tease dogs"

"I wasn't teasing it" snapped Tybalt "They attacked us. I hate dogs"

"I would too, if I smelt of cats"

"I don't smell of cats!"

"Your mum has ten, doesn't she? It would be hard not to"

"Yes, the house does smell a bit catty. But you get used to it. And I'd rather smell cats than some of her dreadful 'Sausage Surprise'"

Tybalt retched, and covered his mouth with his good hand.

"What's that?" asked Lady Montague.

"It's something Aunty Regina likes to cook. She calls it 'Sausage Surprise' and we all hate it. We've had to eat it all our lives"

"Tonight we're having pasta and sauce, with some garlic bread. Is that all right?"

"Can't I have a Chinese takeaway?" asked Tybalt "I don't eat proper food"

"We don't have junk food in this house. I've always made sure my Romeo's eaten healthily"

"That doesn't explain why he's so fat" muttered Tybalt.

"He's not fat" Juliet hissed, elbowing him.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing" Juliet smiled innocently. The door opened, and Lord Montague himself entered. Tybalt sat up straight and folded his arms defensively.

"So you must be Juliet. I already know you, Tybalt"

Tybalt glared at him. Juliet managed a smile, and elbowed Tybalt again, trying to force him to smile. He didn't.

"Dinner will be in two minutes, darling" Lord Montague leant down and kissed his wife on the mouth. Juliet and Tybalt looked surprised. Lord and Lady Capulet barely ever showed the other any affection, and Tybalt had grown up with his father in prison for murder.

"Did you both get here ok?" asked Lord Montague, as he sat down next to his wife.

"We got chased by your dogs"

"Oh. They don't like visitors all that much"

"I noticed" muttered Tybalt, absentmindedly fiddling with the bandage. His hoodie sleeve was folded up. Tybalt was what some may call a chav. He wore hoodies, tracksuit trousers, lots of gold chunky jewellery that he called his 'bling'. He smoked, drank, drove a battered Vauxhall Nova and was often in trouble. He stayed out all night, going to parties, getting in fights, getting in trouble with the police. The Montagues used to be terrified of him, until they realised how fun it could be to tease him.

The doors opened. A servant lay down a dish steaming of pasta, and another entered with the sauce. A third brought out cheese for sprinkling and the garlic bread. Juliet sniffed delightedly. The fourth carried out a jug of water. The table had already been laid. They only had to serve themselves to the food. Lady Montague thanked them, and they were left to eat. After they'd gone, the room was silent, and the atmosphere was tense.

"Guests first" said Lady Montague. Juliet helped herself. Tybalt glared at the food warily.

"It's not like we've poisoned it. We have to eat it as well" remarked Lord Montague when Juliet handed the serving spoon to the reluctant Tybalt.

"I only eat junk food. Where's the local chippie?"

"There aren't any 'chippies' on this side of town" informed Lord Montague "The only food you'll get tonight is the food in front of you"

"I'll give it a pass" Tybalt reached into his pocket and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. He lit one up to the disgust of Juliet and horror of Lady Montague.

"Put that out! There is no smoking in this house!" roared Lord Montague. Tybalt smirked, and inhaled his first drag.

"Tybalt, stop smoking, it stinks!" whined Juliet.

"This is my dinner. You go ahead and eat"

"I said, put that cigarette out!" commanded Lord Montague.

"Make me" mocked Tybalt "Did I tell you about all the booze I've got stashed in my case?"

"In that case, we'll have to search it. I won't tolerate cigarettes, booze or drugs in my house"

"I haven't got any drugs!" argued Tybalt.

"Right. That's it. Paulina, I'll leave you and Juliet to dinner. Tybalt, come with me to your room"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Yes, you did. You were rude to me, smoked in the house, and refused to do as I told you to. You are going to spend the evening, in your room, but only after I've searched your case"

"That's not fair!" shrieked Tybalt.

"It's perfectly fair. I would do the same to my own son if he ever acted the way you do"

Tybalt stormed out of the room, with Lord Montague following. Juliet turned back to Lady Montague.

"I'm sorry about Tybalt..." she began. She'd never been alone with a member of Romeo's family before. They both snuck out at evenings to be together, and she knew who his friends were, but she'd never met his family. And he'd never met hers. Well, not properly.

"Don't worry. It's exactly what I'd have expected of him" said Lady Montague with disdain.

"He's not like that all the time. Once you get to know him. He's the best cousin in the world. He always makes me laugh, and he always cheers me up when I'm sad. He looks after his mum all the time. And he gets on with the rest of my family and he looks after them as well"

"I find that hard to believe" mumbled Lady Montague.


	5. Toothy Pegs

Thank you to all those who have reviewed/favourite/alerted! This is a short chapter today :)

* * *

Benvolio trembled, and felt like tearing out his scruffy hair. Romeo, Mercutio and Lord Capulet were locked in a game of wits. Neither was winning, but they were all making the situation worse by the minute. Lady Capulet sat in the corner. She was probably more of Benvolio's age than Lord Capulet's. Benvolio found it kind of gross, actually.

"So you find it sickening that me, Romeo and Benvolio are allowed to hang around in Benvolio's dad's nightclub? That's a shame. I found it damn nice of the guy to give us a place to hang out, rather than standing on street corners, dressed in a hoodie and tracksuit trousers, smoking cigarettes, as well as some other illegal substances"

"Mercutio! He doesn't let us do it on a regular basis, and he knows that it's because I don't like being in the house on my own with Beatrix at night" Benvolio hissed, as he desperately tried and miserably failed to defuse the situation. After they had arrived, Lord Capulet had showed them to their room where they left their suitcases. Three beds had been crammed into one room. It seemed he wanted them as far out of his sight as possible. Benvolio was glad he'd have his best friends with him during the night. He felt very uneasy about being in the Capulet Manor.

"It's because you're so worried that a certain thug related to our very own host will start chucking bricks through the window that you don't like it" Mercutio dismissed.

"No, I don't. It's because one time, I went to bed and Beatrix tipped water on the sheets and told dad I wet my-"

"You wet yourself? Hey, remember the time you were sleep-walking as a kid and tried to go to toilet in the kitchen cupboard?" exclaimed Romeo loudly.

"Romeo!" hissed Benvolio, flushing red.

"What? We've all been there. I puked in the swimming pool after eating too much of Romeo's birthday cake. I don't know why you're so upset" Mercutio dismissed again, with a fancy hand gesture.

"Enough of this kind of talk" snarled Lord Capulet "I'm eating"

"With a pair of false teeth? What's it like, wearing false teeth?" asked Mercutio.

"A bit like wearing a retainer, I told you!" Lord Capulet growled, baring his false teeth.

"You wore a retainer? I didn't know you had braces. Benvolio had braces, didn't you? What was it Tybalt and his friends used to call you? Tin Grin. That's the one. If you wore braces, then it was slightly hypocritical on his part, right?"

"I had invisible braces. There's a difference!" glared Lord Capulet.

"So why don't you have your real teeth anymore?" questioned Mercutio.

"None of your business!" snapped Lord Capulet.

"Because you lost a fight with my dad and he punched you in the face and all your teeth fell out?" asked Romeo.

"No!"

"The tooth fairy came in the night for Juliet's teeth and liked the look of yours more?"

"No!"

"Erm..." Benvolio hesitated "You didn't take good care of them?"

"Silence!" roared Lord Capulet. The three boys receded, and tried not to laugh. Mercutio mocked zipping up his mouth and turned to Romeo.

"Mmm umm hum mmm, umm mm?"

"Mmm?"

"Mmm! Umm hum, mmm hmm, umm?"

"Humm, umm mm hm"

"Pack it in!"

"Pack in what? Our cases? Can we go home now? I hate this place. It's like the setting of a horror movie or something"

"No!"


	6. Tybalt's First Secret

I'm on study leave, so a new chapter seemed like an appropriate way to spend my time. In this one, we see a small amount of sweetness on Tybalt's part, and hear one of the Capulet's family secrets. Thanks to everyone who had favourited/reviewed/alerted!

* * *

Anger coursed through Tybalt's veins and boiled in his heart, and he breathed deeply and heavily. His hand throbbed with pain. His other hand burned with a desire to punch Lord Montague's face in. He was humiliated, and angry. But he couldn't let it control him. The film crew arrived just as Lord Montague took away his secret stash of alcohol. He did not want them, the whole of Verona, including his friends and foes, to see him toss his little temper tantrum. But at least he still had his mobile. Tybalt dialled his mother's number.

"Tibby, darling!" exclaimed Regina "Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine, mum" glowered Tybalt "I just called to check in on you"

"Aw, Tybalt, you're such a good boy! You take such good care of your old mum. I miss you already" cooed Regina.

"I miss you too mum. Right. Have you taken your pills today?"

"What's that?"

"Your pills, mum, your pills" said Tybalt, raising his voice as loud as he dared. He didn't want the Montagues to know what was family business.

"Oh, right. I'm sorry, Tibby. I forgot. I'll take them when I've hung up"

"No, mum. Take them now!" commanded Tybalt.

"All right, all right. I'll just go and find them"

"They're in the kitchen draw. You know this. Get yourself a drink of water or juice"

"Yes, Tibby, poppet" Tybalt heard the rush of water filling a glass, and the banging of the draw. There was a crackle of the packet, and he heard his mum swallow them.

"There. All done. Anything else?"

"You've fed all the cats?"

"Yes, yes. I never forget to feed my babies" _My babies. _Lady Montague called her dogs her babies. What a coincidence. Tybalt shrugged it off.

"And you've closed all the curtains and locked the doors?"

"Yes. Of course I have. I know you worry about the harassers"

"Good. And there's plenty of money on the electric meter?"

"Yes. You topped it up before you went, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I did. Have you had dinner yet? The Montagues tried to make me eat their puke. I bet they poisoned it. I asked where the chippie was, and they wouldn't tell me. This won't last five seconds. I'll probably be home tomorrow. You'll be all right until then, won't you? If you're worried and I can't get there, call Uncle Egues. I wrote down his number and put it next to the house phone. If the prank calls start up again, turn off the house phone, and make sure you've got your mobile phone, in case I have to ring you or you need to ring me if something goes wrong."

"Yes, Tibby, sweetheart. I won't blow the house up"

Tybalt snorted. His mum was awful at electrical safety. Twice he'd saved her life. Twice. "All right. I'm going to call Rosaline now. Take care"

"You're such a good boy, Tibby darling. You take such good care of me"

"I know. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye"

"Yes, Tibby, darling. I love you"

Tybalt listened for any approaching footsteps and whispered "I love you too"


	7. Going Gaga

I'm really liking Study Leave, so here's another chapter! In this one, the Montague boys wind up Lord Capulet...again. Those naughty boys! Plus, we discover that they love Lady Gaga.

* * *

Romeo fiddled with the switch. He, Mercutio and Benvolio were sharing a room. Lord Capulet sent them up there after dinner. Mercutio was giggling like crazy on his bed. Benvolio had already got changed into his pyjamas and was watching what they did warily. Romeo turned to his friends.

"Ok, it's ready"

"Press play!"

Romeo flicked the switch and out from the stereo blasted Mercutio's current favourite album.

"RA RA AH AH AH! ROMA ROMA MA MA! GA GA OH LA LA!" The boys dived into their beds and Mercutio flicked out the light. All three drew the covers over their heads, as they heard Lord Capulet's steps. The door banged open and the light was flicked back on rapidly.

"Turn this racket off immediately!"

"Hey! Why'd you wake me up?" groaned Mercutio, emerging from under his duvet.

"Yeah, Eugene. I'm trying to sleep!" chided Romeo.

"My name is Egues! And you will address me as Lord Capulet! Or else!"

"Can you be quiet, please, we're trying to sleep" Benvolio added.

"I'm not the one who turned that horrible racket on!"

"What racket?" asked Romeo innocently.

"That racket!" yelled Lord Capulet, jabbing a finger at the stereo as Lady Gaga began her first verse.

"It's turned off, I don't know what you're talking about" scorned Mercutio. Lord Capulet fumed, marched over and switched it off. Immediately, the boys clasped their ears and moaned.

"What did you turn it on for, you pillock?"

"It's not turned on!" Lord Capulet snapped.

"It is! What horrible classical music you like!" Mercutio answered, clasping his hands to his ears.

Lord Capulet boiled with rage, and ripped the stereo out of the wall, and carried it downstairs.

"Hey! He's stealing my Lady Gaga CD!" shouted Mercutio.

"Naughty Eugene, he's a thief!" hooted Romeo "This must be where Tybalt gets his criminal side from!"

"I thought that was his dad?" quipped Benvolio.

"Probably both" said Romeo.

"Forget Tybalt, how am I going to live without my Lady Gaga CD?" Mercutio cried.

"I think Lord Capulet fancies her!" giggled Romeo. Mercutio snorted.

"Sounds like a bad romance to me!" said Benvolio.

"He won't be able to read her poker face" added Romeo.

Mercutio snorted for the second time "Right. We're stuck here for the night, without my Lady Gaga CD and have limited resources for annoying Eugene with now he also has the CD Player. What shall we do?"

"Well, I'm feeling a bit tired, so perhaps we should all go to sleep, and think of stuff in the morning" suggested Benvolio.

"How boring are you?" exclaimed Romeo "We're in the Capulet Haunted Castle! Didn't last Halloween we say that someday we'd challenge each to spend one night here, and try not to get caught by the Capulets?"

"I remember that!" Mercutio clapped his hands "We're here now! Right, come on, we're going to stay up all night, tell each other spooky stories, challenge each other to dares and have, like, a proper...a proper..."

"Sleepover?" suggest Benvolio.

"No, that's what girls call it. Let's just call it our all-nighter at the Capulets! So, I'll start with a spooky story. One time, there was this group of boys, called Tybalt-"

"Why does it have to be about Tybalt?" asked Benvolio.

"Because he'll get decapitated later on" explained Mercutio "Anyway, so he has this group of friends, called Sam, Greg, and-"

"Tybalt has friends?" interrupted Romeo.

"Stop interrupting! Well, they're not friends, not really, they just like bullying people together"

"Like sticking people's head down the toilets and flushing them!" Benvolio cried. The two turned to look at him. Benvolio bent his head "He did it to me"

"Bastard. Anyway, so he and his friends one day decided to go out on the town, and they're walking about, and they come across this house they'd never seen before. They all start daring each other to go inside. Sam goes inside, and the other boys wait a bit, but he doesn't go back. So Tybalt tells Greg to go and look for him. Greg goes...but he doesn't come back either. So Tybalt and Petruchio and the blond guy he also hangs out with start to get a bit scared. Petruchio goes in, and doesn't come back. So Tybalt and Blond Guy start to freak out and yell at each other about who should go in. Eventually, Tybalt wins and Blond Guy goes in. Half an hour later, none of them return, and against his better instinct to runaway and go back to mumsy, Tybalt goes in. The house is bare, empty, and there's no sign of his friends. He walks around, and around, and then..." Mercutio paused to waggle his fingers about his head "he sees all these rats, and they crawling about the floor, making their way towards him. They're squeaking and tousling and fighting to get near him. He starts to scream, but none of his friends come, and no one outside hears him. The rats get closer and closer, and then one of them is ginormous, and it opens his mouth, and Tybalt can see all the nasty little teeth covered in the blood and guts of his friends, and he screams and he screams and the rat jumps up and bites off his..."

"That's enough! Oh, honestly, Mercutio" sighed Romeo.

"What did I say?"

"I know what you were about to say" said Romeo.

"I thought you said he'd get decapitated?" Benvolio said.

"That's happens later" Mercutio stretched out "Who's turn is it now?"

"Benvolio can go. As long as it's not about rats biting off...bits"

"No fear. I'm rubbish at stories"

"Then you can do a forfeit" said Mercutio. He jumped up, and opened the door. There was no sign of the Capulets "You have to...go in the hallway and shout 'GIVE ME BACK MY LADY GAGA CD!'"

"But it's half past eleven at night. Eugene will kill us" protested Benvolio.

"Good. Now go do it!"

"Oh...great. Here goes nothing" Benvolio stepped out into the hall "GIVE ME BACK MY LADY GAGA CD!"

He shot back into their room and the three boys laughed. The sounds of Lord Capulet coming down the hall could be heard. The boys leapt into bed and pulled the sheets over their heads. The door flung open.

"Who was that shouting!" demanded Lord Capulet. All three boys burst out laughing at the sight of him in blue and white pinstripe pyjamas and his teeth mysteriously missing.

"It was the cat" said Mercutio.

"Don't be stupid. It was you, wasn't it!" he yelled, pointing at Benvolio.

"Perhaps if you give us back my Lady Gaga CD, he won't do it again" taunted Mercutio.

"Less your lip!"

"No thanks, I don't want cosmetic surgery. But you...you've had the works! Where're your teeth?"

"My what?" hissed Lord Capulet.

"Your teeth! Ha! You really do have false teeth!" laughed Mercutio "Look Romeo, look at Gappy! That's what I'm going to call you now...Gappy!"


	8. Morning At The Montagues

Cornadopia - Thanks for your lovely review! I'm so glad you've enjoyed this story. And thanks to everyone else who has enjoyed this story so far. I write for you!

That being said, enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

Lying face down on a mattress that did not smell of home, Tybalt groaned. Distant dance music throbbed through the air. Sunlight streamed through the light curtains. He moaned, pulled the duvet over his head and tried to get back to sleep, but it was too late. He sat up groggily, and looked at the clock on the wall. It read nine' o'clock.

"It's well early!" Tybalt grumbled aloud "What the hell is that racket!"

He staggered out of bed then realised he was only in his boxers. Tybalt usually liked lounging around with no clothes on. He only lived with his mum and she just left him alone. But he was not prepared to stumble around the Montague Ranch in just his birthday suit and a scrap of material covering his manhood. He shoved yesterday's trackies and a shirt on, before making his way downstairs.

"Will you please turn that racket off! I'm trying to sleep!" he argued. Lady Montague turned around. She'd evidently been dancing to music. Juliet bounded up to her. One of the dogs was bouncing around her feet.

"You're awake! About time too. We had breakfast an hour ago, and I got to walk the dogs. They're actually really cute. You just have to get used to them"

"What?" asked Tybalt, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

"I said, you're awake, and it was about time too-"

"Yeah, I know what you said, but it's nine! I'm trying to sleep, and you're playing stupid loud disco music and waking me up!" Tybalt snapped.

"Claudio was at work an hour ago. We get up this early normally. We have a busy life, you know" chided Lady Montague.

"So have I. I just chose to do so at a decent hour" Tybalt hissed.

"It is a decent hour. I got up at seven. I came in, to see if you wanted some tea, but you were asleep. You thrash around a lot" said Lady Montague.

"I know. Rosaline says it's like trying to sleep with an octopus" At Tybalt's answer, Lady Montague stiffened. Tybalt simply shrugged "What did I say?"

"I always thought Rosaline was into wearing one of those chastity rings" she said carefully.

"She lied. She just can't stand the sight of Romeo. Who wouldn't? He has a face only a mother could love"

"Tybalt" gasped Juliet.

Lady Montague scowled "Right. You didn't learn your lesson last night, and you haven't learnt it this morning. Go back to your room, get showered and dressed, and I'll deal with you later"

"No way. You can't tell me what to do. I'm eighteen years old" Tybalt snarled back.

"Stop it, Tybalt!" protested Juliet.

"And I'm forty two years old. You will do as I say, or there will be consequences" commanded Lady Montage.

"What kind of consequences? You send me home? That would be a treat on my part" Tybalt smarted.

"Exactly. You want to go home? I won't let you go home. I'll confiscate your phone as well. Then you can't call your mother, or Rosaline, or any of your horrible hooligan friends" threatened Lady Montague.

"That's a kid's punishment. I'll just climb the walls, and walk home. I'm not thick, I know my way around Verona" replied Tybalt.

"I'd like to see you try. The walls are guarded, filmed, and far too high to climb anyway"

Tybalt glared "Speaking of filming, why the hell is there a man shoving a camera in my face? Get out of my way!"

Tybalt showed the camera man his middle finger, and pushed it away. He stormed out of the room, and back to the place where he had spent the night. He had no intention of doing what Lady Montague said. Tybalt was a slob, and he didn't care.

Back downstairs, Juliet glanced nervously at Lady Montague "Sorry about Tybalt" she began "He's not very good in mornings. He gets a little bit grouchy"

"A bit!"

"He likes his sleep" Juliet reasoned "Last April Fool's Day, I put some of Rosaline's make up on him and he didn't notice. When he did, it's a wonder I'm still alive"

Lady Montague suppressed a laugh "Never mind. I have to run some errands this morning. I've got to take the dogs to the woods. I always walk them there once a week, and I've got to pick up a parcel, and stock up on stuff for my beauty regime"

"Don't you get the servants to do it all?" asked Juliet. Her mother always had people running around after her. She never did anything for herself.

"No, no. This keeps me human. It's not right to have people running around after you like a toddler. And it gives me a chance to get out of the house. Are you coming?"

Juliet looked at the door that Tybalt had stormed out of "What about Tybalt?"

"He'll come round"

Juliet nodded, and fetched her coat.


	9. Boys Will Be Boys

Another nice long day on Study Leave, so I shall entreat you to a chapter. Warning: Mercutio and the boys make dirty puns about what bored teenage boys do when they're alone

* * *

"Romeo! Hey, Romeo! Wakey wakey!" whispered Mercutio, giving him a shake.

"What?"

"Wake up. Eugene has gone to work, and Lady Capulet's...around, but not in her room. Let's go and raid it!"

"No, not a good idea. I don't want to know what he keeps in his private draw"

Mercutio giggled, and pulled the duvet back over Romeo's head. Romeo gave a grateful sigh. Instead, Mercutio moved over to Benvolio.

"Hey! Benvolio! Hey! Wanna do a raid on Eugene's room?"

"No" mumbled Benvolio "Bog off"

"But I'll die without my Lady Gaga CD!" whined Mercutio.

"Keep your voice down!" hissed Romeo. Both he and Benvolio wrapped the sheets around their heads. Mercutio shrugged. Normally they'd be awake quite early, but maybe it was because they'd had a late night. Feeling bored, Mercutio resolved to amuse himself. Benvolio's glasses were on his bedside table.

Mercutio tried them on, and laughed as the room morphed out of focus. He tried to walk around, but found himself stumbling into the wall and against Romeo's bed. With a giggle, he put them back. He sat back on his bed, and realised what a bouncy, springy mattress it was. It was nicer than the one he had at home. His very immature side decided that it would a good idea to jump on it.

Mercutio staggered upright, and began to bounce. It creaked, and he laughed some more. Benvolio peaked out from under the duvet and shoved his glasses on.

"Mercutio, what the _hell_ are you doing?"

"Playing! You bounce too, Benvolio"

"How old are you now?"

"Seventeen, with the mental age of seven!" declared Mercutio proudly.

"Shut up!" Romeo croaked "And grow up!"

"You? Tell me to grow up? Romeo, you're still stuck in year nine"

"I hate you" informed Romeo.

"No. You love me really"

Mercutio gave a loud leap, and there was a groan.

"You broke it!" gasped Benvolio.

"No, I haven't!" said Mercutio quickly.

"You have. The planks are all snapped underneath. Um! You'll have to buy a new one" swarmed Romeo.

"I'm not buying Eugene anything with my money"

"You won't be saying that when he's yelling at your uncle"

"It's Uncle Escalus' problem, not mine!"

"Ssh! I hear noises!" Benvolio hushed. The door knocked. Mercutio was still standing on the broken bed.

"Wait a minute!" called Romeo, covering himself up.

"I haven't got all day!" retorted the nurse. The door banged open. With one look she took in Mercutio standing in the broken bed, and then both Romeo and Benvolio swallowed in duvets "What on earth have you done?"

"Mercutio broke the bed" Benvolio answered.

"How?"

"You really want to know?" said Mercutio slyly.

"Well, I suppose I'll have to tell the Lord of this house, and-"

"Mercutio, what have I told about doing _that_? You'll go blind!"

"Romeo, that's absolutely disgusting!" Benvolio shrieked.

"What? We know you do it too" mocked Mercutio.

"Not in front of her!" Benvolio jabbed a finger in the Nurse's direction.

"Oh, yes, don't mind me. I haven't got a name"

"You didn't exactly introduce yourself" remarked Mercutio.

"My name is Angelica"

"That's a nice name"

"Thank you"

"Shall I climb out of the broken bed now?" asked Mercutio.

"Yes. That would be a start. Breakfast is being served. The Lady of the house is already down there. Lord Capulet has gone to work. Today, you'll have to amuse yourselves"

"Oh, I'm sure that won't be a problem" smirked Mercutio, climbing out of the bed.

"Where are you going to sleep now you've broken the bed?" asked Romeo.

"Your bed's bigger than Benvolio's. I'll just share with you"

"Oh no. Last time you did that, I woke up with make up on my face"

Mercutio giggled "Then Benvolio will have to share with you, and I get his bed. He'll have to be careful not to wet it"

"Shut up! I don't wet the bed!"

"You did when you were a kid!"

"Exactly. When I was a kid. Not anymore"

"We'll soon see about that"

"Enough! Get dressed, all of you, and get going"

The nurse left. The three boys looked at each other.

"She's a bit grumpy today" remarked Mercutio "We normally have a nice old chat"

"Your definition of a nice old chat is usually a vulgar battle of wits"

Mercutio grinned, and then he shrugged. They made their way down to the dining room for breakfast.


	10. Rebels

Short shapter today! Thank you for your review, Jenni. I had something like that planned! Great minds think alike, hehe :)

* * *

Lady Montague loaded her dogs into the back of her car. The one that had bit Tybalt, a Chihuahua called Tinkerbell, was barking and making the most noise.

"Oh, shut up Tinkerbell" said Lady Montague. Juliet sat in the front next to her. She found herself feeling quite fond of the miniature schnauzer, Eddie. He was still practically a puppy. He was very playful, and after a while Juliet realised that all her fears had gone away.

"I didn't realise dogs were this cute. Tybalt always made out that Mercutio's dog was an Alsatian or something"

"Nah, Mercutio's is a Labrador. Sometimes, dogs don't realise they're being aggressive. They think you're playing with them. When you and Tybalt ran away, they thought you were playing. I've kept dogs since I was teenager, and I wouldn't let Romeo near them if they were didn't think they'd be safe"

"Is Romeo fond of dogs too?"

"Yes. Eddie is actually Romeo's dog. He was his sixteenth birthday present"

"Oh, that's nice. He's a lovely little dog"

"The post office is here. I'll nip in, and then we'll go to the shops"

Juliet watched her walk away. Subconsciously, she lifted her shirt and looked at the piercing. She'd kept it clean, and it had stopped hurting. Sometimes, it went a bit red. But other than that, it was fine. Next week she could change it. Perhaps while they were out, she could buy a new bar for it.

Lady Montague shoved a parcel in the boot, and the car vibrated.

"Just the shops now, and then we'll go to the woods. Is there anything you need?"

"No. I'm all right. But I think I'll have a look at belly bars if I see any"

"What do you want one of those for?"

"Oh! Well, I wanted my stomach pierced and Tybalt took me a few weeks ago because he knew dad would flip out if I asked him, and it's almost ready for me to change"

"And you haven't told him?"

"No" Colour flushed Juliet's cheeks.

"Wow. I'm impressed. All I've heard is that you're a goody two shoes who stays at home all day"

'_Not after meeting your son' _thought Juliet "Well, like Rosaline always says. All teenagers rebel at some point in their life. I suppose I could be doing a lot worse stuff"


	11. Food, Glorious Food

Another very short chapter today. I suppose it's just a bit of filler, but we see what Tybalt's eccentric mum likes to cook every Saturday...

* * *

"Good morning!" announced Mercutio, arriving in the dining room "What's for eats?"

Romeo and Benvolio sat opposite Lady Capulet, and Mercutio dumped himself down in Lord Capulet's chair at the top of the table. She looked nervously at them all. Mercutio wondered if she'd tell them off (or rather, him) for being in Lord Capulet's chair, but he decided that if she did, he didn't care, and she just ignored him anyway, apart from answering his question.

"Whatever you fancy ordering"

"That's strange. We normally just eat what gets chucked at us. Or if we don't like it, we have to make it ourselves" said Romeo.

"Well, in that case, I'll have...Sausage Surprise"

Romeo and Benvolio laughed, but Lady Capulet looked at Mercutio.

"You won't be saying that this evening"

"How come?"

"We're going to Regina's for dinner. We always go to Regina's for dinner on a Saturday. And she always cooks the same old thing, unless Tybalt bails us out with a takeaway. But...Tybalt's not here"

"We don't actually have to eat it, do we?" asked Mercutio, starting to feel rather icky.

"It's called dinner for a reason, Mercutio"

The three boys had turned white. Everybody had heard of 'Sausage Surprise' Tybalt had a huge crowd of mates, and Regina took great delight in inviting them around for dinner. Rumours went around the neighbourhood about how disgusting it was, and Tybalt didn't help the situation by mouthing off about it to anyone who'd care to listen.

"Well...I'll have toast" declared Benvolio.


	12. Girls Day Out

Here is chapter 12. Another short one, but longer ones are coming! Am now on holiday so chapters will be sparse as I'm busy having fun. But I'll be back on Study Leave next Monday so I will once again be focused :)

* * *

Lady Montague unloaded the dogs. Juliet held the leash of the schnauzer. He jumped and tried to pull on the rope, but she held him firm. They stood at the edge of the wooded area of Verona Park. To the far left were the allotments where some families grew their own vegetables. To the far right was where the swings and slides were. Juliet remembered Tybalt pushing her on the swings many years ago. It was what, ten years ago?

"There we go. Shall we start walking on the path?"

They wandered into the path. Juliet suddenly realised that she was on her own, with a Montague, defenceless. Tybalt had always warned her to never, ever, go near one, and if no one was nearby, to scream and run and ring him on her mobile. Obviously, she'd broken that rule with Romeo, but he was an exception. She hadn't even realised he was a Montague until it was too late. Then she'd come to think that Romeo was the only nice Montague, and then she came to think that they were all nice people underneath, they'd just hate her because of her family.

But Paulina wasn't even being mean. Juliet had done her best to be polite and engage with the family, and stay neutral when Tybalt started up. It had paid off. Maybe Pauline would come round to liking her, and realise that her family too, were nice people underneath? And with a bit of luck, that would spread throughout the Montague's opinions, and then she and Romeo could finally be open about their relationship...

"What are you thinking about?" asked Paulina.

"Oh...nothing. Just about Tybalt and if he's calmed down yet"

Pauline sighed "You have a lot of respect for him"

"He taught me how to blow bubbles with bubble gum" nodded Juliet "And how to make vodka jelly"

"And how did your parents react to this?"

"They didn't know. They all went off on this boring adult's only trip together, and I got to stay at Tybalt's with him and his mum, and her ten cats. Aunty Regina brought home some jelly to make a trifle, so Tybalt decided to make the jelly himself and put vodka in it. And later on, she made a trifle with it and couldn't understand why we were drunk"

"So there is an inner rebel inside you"

"Yes. Later that day, Regina also decided to make 'Sausage Surprise' for us. Now, we hate 'Sausage Surprise' but Tybalt is adamant we don't tell Regina that we don't like it because it will hurt her feelings. So, when her back was turned, he threw it out the window, wiped a bit on one of the cats and said that the cat had been eating it out the pan, he'd shooed the cat and it had 'accidently' fallen out the window"

Paulina laughed again "I've heard all about 'Sausage Surprise' Not a big fan of your aunty's cooking?"

"No" replied Juliet.

"Don't worry, I'm not a big fan of my brother-in-law's cooking either. Anthony, who's our Benvolio and Beatrix's dad. When we go round there, we always have a takeout. I suppose it's a treat, as we don't eat junk food in our house"

"Fair enough. Whenever Aunty Regina says she'll cook, Tybalt insists on treating us to a takeaway with his wages"

"Tybalt has a job?"

"He works in a music shop, selling mainly rap and R&B stuff. He likes it as he gets a discount on stuff and he's the person I got to when I want a new CD. Loads of people say he's a good-for-nothing violent thug, but he isn't like that. I promise"

"Well. What's his shop called?"

"I don't know. It's in the corner of the high street, near a tattoo and piercing parlour. That's where he got my belly done in exchange for a discount on CDs for all the workers"

"You'll have to show me"

"What, my stomach?"

"No, the shop!"


	13. The Boring Capulets

Chapter 13! An unlucky number for some - especially the Montagues boys as they've just met Tybalt's mum. And it's not going to be pretty...

* * *

The day passed by quite dully for Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio. After finishing breakfast, they went exploring in the house, but got told off after Mercutio imitated one of the devil statues and Romeo started taking pictures of him doing so. Then they went outside and sat by pond and poked the frogs. Mercutio picked one up and tried to put it down Benvolio's trousers, but Benvolio ran off screaming and shut himself in the gardener's shed, much to the chagrin of the gardener. Romeo discovered the hose, attempted to soak Mercutio in retaliation for the frogs and in the process, soaked Lord Capulet's prize roses. They were told off and sent inside. They tried to watch a DVD, but the nurse came down and told them off for watching an 18 rated film, as they were aged fifteen, sixteen and seventeen respectively.

"What are we meant to do in this boring old house?" whined Mercutio "Play board games?"

"Precisely. Let's play X-Rated Scrabble!" exclaimed Romeo "The winner is the person who writes the rudest swearwords without an adult catching them!"

Benvolio began, as the rule was the youngest played first. He spelt out 'dog muck'

"Come on, Benvolio, you can do better than that!" encouraged Mercutio.

"Fine" Benvolio reached for the box, but was cut off by Romeo.

"Too late, my go now. Right" Romeo spelt out 'crap'

"My turn!" Mercutio spelt out the first official swearword.

"Um!" said Romeo "I'm going to-"

But the three immature boys were cut off by the door banging open. Lord Capulet had arrived home from work, and walked up to them.

"What on earth are you doing?"

"Playing X-Rated Scrabble" replied Mercutio "You can have a turn if you want"

"No, thank you. I suggest you get your shoes on. We're going to my sister's for dinner"

"Oh no" groaned Romeo softly.

"Oh yes. Hurry up"

They cleared away the Scrabble board without Lord Capulet seeing the swearwords and got ready to go. Lord Capulet hurried back on the door with his wife and they followed. A car driven by a chauffeur waited, and they climbed in the back, slowly feeling sick.

"Just think," Mercutio whispered to Romeo "We'll be in Tybalt's house, and if we're lucky we can get a sneak peek at his room"

"I bet he has rats!" Romeo whispered back.

"No, his mother's cats would have chased them away"

The car drove on, and they soon arrived. All three boys recognised it as it was the house they knocked on the door of, and then ran away. Regina bustled to the door as soon as the car parked.

"Hello, Egues, darling! Wow, you're still in one piece. Hello, Cordelia, sweetie. And...these must be the Montagues"

"Surprise!" greeted Mercutio "How are you coping without your little Tibby darling?"

Regina glared at him, and stormed into her house.


	14. Smoking

Thank you reviewers! I expect you're all looking forward to seeing some more of Tybalt's eccentric mother. Another short chapter from me today, in which Tybalt is being, well, himself, really.

* * *

Smoking outside of the house was a sure way to outwit the Montagues, thought Tybalt, as he inhaled a drag. He was told he couldn't smoke in the house, so he wasn't. He chuckled, thinking about how clever he was.

"Young man!" shouted Lord Montague's voice. Tybalt ignored him, and kept smoking for the hell of it.

"Put that light out!"

"I'm not in your house, so I can smoke all I want" retorted Tybalt, inhaling to annoy him.

"You may not smoke on my premises" snapped the man, as he grew nearer.

"Or what? You've taken half my stuff"

"You'll be back in that room, and this time without your mobile. I heard you, whispering all your love sentiments to Rosaline. Sweet"

"Shut up" snarled Tybalt, chucking away the butt of his cigarette.

"But what I found sweeter is that, in spite of being eighteen years old, the so-called scariest person in Verona, the boy who nearly got expelled when he was fourteen, is that you still have it within you to check your mother is safe, and then tell her you love her. Cute"

"You shut up about my mum!" roared Tybalt "**** this, I'm going home!"

He turned, and stormed towards the gate, which had opened as Juliet and Paulina arrived back at the ranch. Juliet looked horrified as Tybalt stormed out.

"Tybalt, come back!" commanded Lord Montague.

"Where are you going? Don't leave me!" shouted Juliet, trying to play the innocent little cousin.

"Don't play innocent on me, Montague-licker!" Tybalt yelled, starting to run.

"What are we going to do?" asked Juliet, worriedly.

"Don't worry. I'll deal with him myself" replied Lord Montague.

"Don't be mean to him, it'll only wind him up"

"He needs a good kick up the butt. It's time someone brought discipline into his life"


	15. Sausage Surprise!

A nice long chapter today! We find out a bit about Tybalt, and get to know his mother, Regina, more. If you watch EastEnders, you will notice that I heavily based her on Jean Slater because she is so hilarious! So I therefore don't truly own Regina. Meanwhile, the poor Montagues are subjected to 'Sausage Surprise!'

* * *

"That's a nice statue" said Benvolio, pointing at a pair of gold trainers posed in a dance move.

"That's not a statue, that's my Tibby's award" cooed Regina.

"For what?" asked Romeo.

"Dancing. He used to dance when he was younger. But he gave up when he was fourteen because all his friends kept teasing him. And that certificate there is for French speaking and listening. Tibby's half French, and we go to France every summer, so he's basically fluent. He's such a good boy, my Tibby"

"Really" said Mercutio, unconvinced "What kind of dancing? Ballet? Did he have a tutu? I bet he did as well!"

"No, street dancing. He was really good at it"

The three boys snorted, and Regina hurried off to serve up dinner.

"Right. I'm going to ask to go and use the toilet upstairs. Benvolio, you go in the toilet under the stairs so she can't say I can't go upstairs. Romeo, you keep watch on the stairs. I'm going in his room!"

"Why? Do you think he has guns and weed under the bed?" asked Benvolio.

"More likely than not" said Mercutio "Right! Let's do it"

But before they could put their plan into action, Regina called out "It's ready! Come and get it!"

The boys sighed, and made their way to the table. Lord and Lady Capulet were sitting at the table, their faces sour and miserable. They sat down next to each other, and the horrible gagging smell made Benvolio think of cat food.

"Sausage Surprise" Regina announced.

"It looks lovely, Regina" lied Lord Capulet.

"Here we go" Regina sat down, and began heaping it onto everyone's plates. Romeo cringed, glanced at Mercutio and Benvolio, before picking up a piece of sausage with his fork, and placing it into his mouth. The sour taste stung his taste buds, and he felt sick. Mercutio was silently laughing at him, and Benvolio was going green. They sat for five minutes, trying to see how long they could wait without having to eat it. Glancing this way and that, they waited, _prayed _for some kind of distraction, or just something to happen so they didn't have to eat it.

The front door slammed open, and Tybalt barged in.

"Tibby, darling, what are you doing back so early?" asked Regina, bouncing up to greet her beloved son.

"This experiment's a joke!" snarled Tybalt, throwing his front door keys onto a worktop in the kitchen. He stomped into the dining room

"Just in time, too. We were about to have dinner" Regina said "Here, let me put it on a tray for you. As you can see, I've made your favourite! You go and have a nice sit-down on the sofa. I've taped the Jeremy Kyle show for you to watch later, and I'll just get your tea"

"Thanks mum" replied Tybalt. He kicked off his shoes, leaving them in the hallway where anyone could trip over them. Regina smiled fondly, and picked them up and put them on a shoe rack. They heard her clattering about in the kitchen, and she emerged, with a plate on a tray with a knife and fork.

"Just excuse me a minute" said Regina, perching between Romeo and Mercutio. She piled a great heap of 'Sausage Surprise' onto the plate and hurried into the front room to give it to Tybalt, who had slumped back and put the TV onto MTV music channel "Here you are, sweetipops"

"Thanks, mum" said Tybalt, digging in. Regina hurried back, and began to eat her portion.

"I knew this wouldn't last. Tibby said he'd be back early. He's such a good boy"

"And just where, may I ask, is Juliet?" asked Lord Capulet.

"Still at the Montague Dump" called Tybalt.

"That's my house!" protested Romeo.

"Alone?" Lord Capulet all but screamed "I told you to look after her!"

"Yeah, well, she was just kissing up to them all. 'Yes Lady Montague, no Lady Montague, of course I'll play with your dogs Lady Montague' and it's all 'Call me Paulina, dearie' on her side too! That ****ing dog bit me, as well!"

"A dog bit you!" shrieked Regina "Where! That's the second time you've been bitten by a dog that belongs to one of those filthy Montagues!"

"Here" said Tybalt, holding out his hand for his mother to see and create a fuss over.

"And so you've just left my little girl there!" shouted Lord Capulet. The door knocked, and Lord Capulet swore. The three Montague boys watched delightedly at this show being performed by the family. Tybalt returned to eating his dinner, and the door knocked. Regina hurried up again to answer.

"Oi! You can't just barge in on us like this! We're having our dinner!"

Lord Montague came into view "Where is he?"

"Dad! Come and get us out of here! This stuff's like cat food!" Romeo cried, pointing at his plate.

"Don't you even think of trying to upset my mum!" Tybalt shouted, dumping his tray on the coffee table and hurrying out into the hall "And I'm not going back to your house. I'm sick of being patronized and treated like a little boy!"

"I've called Escalus, and he said he'll be over here in minutes to put you in line!"

"I want to see him try" Tybalt scorned.

"Where's my daughter?" snarled Lord Capulet.

"Where do you think?" answered Lord Montague just as angrily.

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" whispered Mercutio to Romeo.

"Seeing as Tybalt is now home, I demand the return of my little girl at once!"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" chanted Romeo and Mercutio.

"Little? She's fourteen, for God's sake!"

"Pack it in!" hissed Benvolio to Romeo and Mercutio.

"She's a baby in my eyes! Now bring her here to me at once!"

"You love it!" said Mercutio, batting Benvolio with the back of his hand.

"Sure. If you want to pay Escalus a hefty fine"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!" chanted Romeo and Mercutio and Benvolio.

"Stop trying to humiliate me in front of the camera"

"Fight! Fight! Fight!"

"I don't need to, you've humiliated yourself enough as it is!"

"OOOH!" chorused the boys, waving their hands and waggling their fingers just as the door banged open again, and this time Escalus barged through.


	16. A Little Family History

So...Tybalt has had a temper tantrum and Juliet and Lady Montague are left to pick up the pieces. We also find out a bit more about Romeo, Benvolio and Mercutio's history and some of Juliet and Tybalt's.

* * *

Whilst Tybalt had run off, with Lord Montague after him, Juliet had meekly shuffled back into the house. After walking the dogs, they'd had lunch at a 'dog friendly' restaurant. Juliet had no idea such places existed. Then they'd had a wander around the shops. This time, the dogs had to stay in the car. But it also meant they had to be quick. Juliet had bought herself her new belly bar. This one was silver, and had two diamonds in. It had twinkled at her invitingly, and so she had chosen it. They gave the dogs another walk around the park, and then they'd driven back about seven. Juliet was exhausted.

And then, of course, Tybalt had to start causing trouble. Lady Montague had shaken her head, and Juliet reluctantly followed after. After letting the dogs back in the house, she felt awkward as she wondered what to do. After all, she'd shouted after him to not leave her, inclining that she disliked being here, which she didn't, she didn't mind it. So should she apologize for Tybalt's behaviour? It wasn't her fault he was so...so...stupid.

"You've turned red" said Lady Montague.

"I know. I always blush" said Juliet, putting a hand to her cheeks "I was embarrassed by Tybalt. I'm sorry he's so bad"

"Look, it's not your fault. Didn't his mum ever discipline him?"

"Not really...it's just she loves him to bits. He can do no wrong in her eyes. I know what he's like, but I know he can be nice sometimes. He didn't have a great childhood. She lets him get away with stuff because she feels sorry that he had to grow up with all that, and without a father figure to help him. And even though he was a holy terror as a kid and even though now he's so bad, she's convinced he's a good boy really and that it's everyone else's fault" explained Juliet, as they walked through the halls to the dining room.

"I wouldn't put up with it. If Romeo ever smoked I'd search his room, and then lock him in his room for a week until he was over that first stage. I've made sure he's always had good manners and that he's happy, but without giving into him and giving him everything he wants. Do you get me?" Lady Montague sat down on her sofa, and gave a casual hand gesture as she spoke.

"Yes" said Juliet, nodding.

"I've made sure he's grown up nicely. He's treated all his girlfriends right because of my influence. Only that friend of his, Mercutio, have you met Mercutio?"

"Tybalt's mentioned him once or twice"

"He's such a rude boy! I mean, he's my best friend's son, I've known his mum since high school, and I do see him as one of my family, his parents are divorced you see so he and his mum and brother came around a lot back when they were all children. Anyway, yes, he does say a lot of rude things involving the female anatomy"

Juliet snorted.

"Benvolio's a lot better behaved. He keeps those two in check. They've been friends for years. Bemvolio's mum died when he was ten so he also spent a lot of time round here and Romeo and Mercutio would keep him busy whilst me and Claudio helped Anthony out. But they've grown into a nice little group of friends. I've got some photos here"

Lady Montague bent down and pulled out a photo album from a drawer next to her. She opened it up.

"This is when I was pregnant with Romeo, and there's Mercutio and his brother Valentine saying hello to my tummy. Mercutio was about one when he was born. Here's me in the hospital with him, and when his mother came to visit me. Mercutio wasn't allowed in as he wasn't a sibling but he toddled into the ward anyway. But here we are when we came home, that's Mercutio holding him. Toddler holding baby – it was so cute! There's Romeo asleep. I remember it so well. There he is in the bath!"

Juliet started to giggle. This was exactly what it should be like! Laughing at pictures of her boyfriend's childhood with his mum! Oh, if only it was possible, instead of it being an 'experiment' There was a camera attached to the ceiling, so this was all being filmed. It was like she was on Big Brother or something.

"And here's when Benvolio and Beatrix joined the family. Beatrix is on a French exchange at the moment, but there's Romeo holding Benvolio, and Mercutio watching. There's Mercutio holding Benvolio. Romeo and Mercutio were so helpful when the twins were little. The boys are more like brothers than cousins and friends"

"I like Romeo's dungarees!" giggled Juliet.

"I still have them! I couldn't bear to throw them away. He was just so little. There's all three of the boys in the bath together. Beatrix never wanted to play with all the dirty boys, and preferred her Barbie dolls over them. She's the only girl in the family"

"Tybalt's the only boy" said Juliet "But he used to like playing with me. One time, I was crying in my Moses cot thing, and Tybalt just grabbed it with me inside, dragged it to dad's study and went 'It's crying' through the keyhole and left me there! My dad used to call him Tybalt the Terror. Another time, I was taking up everyone's attention, and no one was playing with him, so he picked me up out of my cot when my Nurse had put me down for a nap and shut me in the cupboard"

"That's horrible!" said Lady Montague, with a hand over her mouth "How long were you there for?"

"Ten minutes. Nobody came, so I started crying, so Tybalt came back and fetched me out. He was holding me, and I stopped crying and looked at him and just blinked. From that moment, he says he always knew we were friends. When he gets back, you can ask him"

Lady Montague opened her mouth to speak, but Tybalt swaggered through. He glared at Juliet and stormed out the other door. Lord Montague followed through.

"I got him back. He went to his mother's and Escalus turned up and sorted everything out. I'm going to have a chat with him later, see if I can break through to him"


	17. Illness

The Montague boys evaluate the evening and chat to Lord Capulet as they feel the after effects of 'Sausage Surprise!' Plus, Regina will be back in later chapters!

* * *

"Well" began Mercutio.

"I guess we're not going home for some time" sighed Benvolio.

"I'm feeling homesick" said Romeo, lying on his bed.

"I'm feeling real sick" Mercutio groaned, rubbing his stomach as he lay next to him.

"Me too" Benvolio whimpered "I can't get that...that _smell_ out of my nostrils"

"I think I'm ok. I used some mouthwash just now"

"I used it about twice" remarked Mercutio "It just won't go away! I'm going to puke!"

"Not on my bed!" shouted Romeo, pushing Mercutio away. Mercutio staggered up and ran out the room and down the corridor. Romeo and Benvolio heard him retching. Benvolio's eyes popped.

"Sorry, I..." and he ran off to vomit too.

"I'm not sharing a bed with someone who's going to puke all night!" grumbled Romeo. He hopped over to Mercutio's broken bed, which still hadn't been fixed, and pulled the mattress off the bed frame. The planks had been smashed through, and part of the frame that held them together had been smashed as well. Romeo straightened it out as best as he could, and it looked like it could hold, but when he tested it, it smashed through again, this time worse than before. He sighed.

The door opened. Lord Capulet had stormed in "I heard about the broken bed from Angelica. What did he do?"

"He was jumping on it" replied Romeo.

"How old is he?" growled Lord Capulet.

"Seventeen"

"For all his faults, Tybalt doesn't do stupid things like that! Grr, to buy a new one to match the beds in this room will be impossible as these were limited edition, and to pay someone to try and fix it without ruining it in the process be even more expensive!"

"I tried just now"

"Stupid boy, you'd need to replace the planks, and glue together the cracks in the frame"

"Oh"

Lord Capulet pulled it back into shape as Romeo had done before, and then put the mattress back.

"My mum knows a good designer who could help"

Lord Capulet snorted, and was about to walk out the door when Mercutio and Benvolio returned, sweaty and shaky.

"What have you two been up to?"

"We've been sick" Benvolio whispered, curling up on his bed. Mercutio sat down at the other end, groaning as he leant against the wall.

"Ugh, you learn to get used to it" Lord Capulet rolled his eyes.

"Can't you just tell her you don't like it?" asked Romeo.

"She'll get upset. Tybalt doesn't want us to hurt her feelings. You won't be sick again, will you?"

"Hopefully not"

"Well, good. If you do, you probably have food poisoning. Your immune systems aren't used to it yet"

"How come I'm not being sick?" asked Romeo.

"You must have a strong immune system. I'll get the servants to bring you up a glass of water and a bucket. I'm getting out of here"

The boys watched him leave, and listened to his shoes click down the hallway.

"You aren't sleeping in my bed if you're going to be sick all night" said Romeo.

"Fine. Me and Benvolio can puke on each other"

"Nice" stated Romeo, reaching for his ipod "Gosh, it's late!"

The servants arrived with their water and a bucket. Both boys thanked them, and the servants looked surprised.

"Everyone is just so quiet in this house" whispered Mercutio "They must be terrified of Lord Capulet sacking them or something"

"Are they gone? I want to put my pyjamas on and sleep this off" said Benvolio.

Mercutio kicked the door shut, and noticed his foot had made a dent in the door. Oops. No one had noticed, and so he left it like that. It didn't feel right, him being ill. He was always on the go, always on the move, but now...he just wanted to curl up and sleep. Romeo was sitting snugly, listening to some boy band he told Mercutio that he hated but secretly loved and had a poster of in his wardrobe singing about pretty girls dumping them.

"Tonight's been quieter than last night" piped up Benvolio, when they were all lying down.

"Because we're all ill" replied Mercutio.

"Romeo isn't" said Benvolio.

"Um, you two?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't feel well!"


	18. Tybalt's Mum

Thank you to Cornadopia and A for your reviews! I love reviews from you - they make me feel very warm and fuzzy :)

Secondly, a thank you to Jenni! Rosaline will appear, but not yet! Be patient, Tybalt's going to get a surprise later on!

But for now, Tybalt reveals a secret to Lord Montague, but not without shouting and saying it nastily.

* * *

Tybalt stared out into the evening sky as Lord Montague walked up to him.

"Escalus said I ought to apologize to for what I said about you telling your mum you loved her" began Lord Montague. He sounded like a ten year old. Tybalt ignored him "It was silly. I obviously don't know what goes on in your life, but it was out of order for me to say that"

"Well, good, because it's none of your business!" snarled Tybalt.

"Well. I guess this is a change for you" Lord Montague stood beside him, and stared up at the same section of the sky. Tybalt took a puff of the cigarette smouldering in his hand "Why do you smoke so much?"

"Because I like it" snapped Tybalt "I'm eighteen, so it's legal. And there's nothing you can do about it"

"Ok. Fair enough. So, what made you go back to your mother's? You were caught out easily there"

"I was worried about her"

"Why?"

Tybalt turned to face him and started to yell "Right. Fine. You really want to know? My mum gets these moods and it's called manic depression. Sometimes she's really hyper and manic and does stupid things like buy ten cats. Other times she can't even get out of bed and says she wants to die. I pay the bills. My name is on the deeds to the house. I go down the shop for the electric key and I have to do all the money counting and stuff. I have a job. I worry about her because it's your brat of a son and his stupid selfish egomaniacal friends who prank call her and knock on the door and torment her and call her mad when she's having one of her meltdowns. She can't look after herself. So that's why I ran off to check on her and that's why I get mad when people annoy me about her. So are you happy now, hmm? Now you know my big secret. Now you can piss off"


	19. Bargain

Thank you for you review, Cornadopia! Poor Regina and Tibby indeed. And it will be poor Mercutio and Benvolio a bit later on.

Today, Lord Capulet tries to double cross and make a deal with the Montague boys. They, of course, foil him and wheedle some information out of Lady Capulet.

* * *

Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio slept in the next day. When they woke up, the sun was streaming joyfully through the curtains. They also found, to their relief, that they no longer felt ill. However, back in the room was Mercutio's CD player and his Lady Gaga CD.

"He gave it back!" exclaimed Mercutio happily, reaching down to claim it.

"Good. Put it on, turn it up full volume!" instructed Romeo "Benvolio, get ready to rock it out!"

"Not now, I'm hungry" said Mercutio "We didn't get any tea. Let's go down"

"What, now? We're not dressed" said Benvolio.

"Who cares? Oh, yeah Eugene does. Come on!"

The three boys pattered out the room. Mercutio took the leading, greeting each servant with a vibrant and cheery "Morning!" Some ignored him, some smiled, some even said hello back.

"Here we are guys" Mercutio sat in Lord Capulet's chair. He sat up straight and composed himself. When he answered, he sounded rather like him "Sit down, boys. What do those Montagues mouths of yours want for breakfast?"

Playing along, Romeo answered "Pancakes!"

"Hmm. I shall see to it. You. What do you want?"

"Eggs and soldiers!" answered Benvolio eagerly.

"How childish are you?"

"What else am I meant to call them?"

"Boiled eggs, and bread with butter on cut into little rectangles. As for me, I want...bacon. Lots of it. But no sausages. I don't ever want to see a sausage ever again!"

"I don't blame you" said Lord Capulet, making his way into the living room. There was a sparkle in his eye they had never seen before. Lady Capulet followed. She also smiled.

"You're looking surprisingly happy today, Eugene" said Mercutio.

"Really?" Lord Capulet said, as he sat down where he would have expected Mercutio to sit. Lady Capulet followed.

"Yes, really. What's put you in a good mood? Oh, wait, one of the Montagues has died"

"Mercutio!" cried Benvolio and Romeo.

"Not quite" grinned Lord Capulet "After you went to sleep, I called Escalus. He says that if we can get along for one week, then the two weeks will be cut short. Isn't that great? Now, I don't like you, and I never will, and I know you don't like me, and probably you never will. I can only assume you three spoiled brats can't wait to get home, and I can't wait to have my daughter back home in your place. So, if you want to go home, play along with me, and behave yourselves"

"Oh, that's a shame" tutted Mercutio "Just when I thought you had a nice side, giving me back my Lady Gaga CD"

"Yeah, Eugene! What's your problem?" smarted Romeo.

"To be truthful" added Benvolio "We only got to sleep at eleven. After we finished puking. And isn't it...well...a bit rude to call people after eleven? Because they'd usually be asleep"

"Uncle Es always goes to bed at ten" said Mercutio "We don't believe you"

"He took my call, and he said that!"

"Earlier on he was shouting and telling us that no one was coming home early, Capulet or Montague or not" said Benvolio "I don't think he'd go back on his word, three hours later"

A vein beat in Lord Capulet's forehead "Well, he has"

"We still don't believe you" swarmed Mercutio "You must think we're stupid. Well, we're not. The only experience you've ever had with teenage boys would be with the King of Stupidity, in other words, Tybalt. You can't double cross us. We're smarter than you think"

Lord Capulet clenched his fist and slammed it on the table. Both Benvolio and Lady Capulet jumped. His eyes darted around the table. He stood up.

"Enjoy your breakfast, I'm taking back the CD player and your precious Lady Gaga CD" he snapped, storming out the room. Mercutio stuck his middle finger up and Romeo blew a raspberry. Benvolio simply shuddered.

"I just want to go home. I hate that man! He makes my skin crawl! How can anyone be so mean? We'll never survive the next two weeks!"

Lady Capulet sighed "Try fifteen years. Fifteen years, of being married to him!"

"Why do you put up with it?" questioned Mercutio.

"For Juliet's sake. I can't have her raised in a broken home. She loves her dad and he dotes on her"

"My parents are divorced" said Mercutio "My mum left my dad and me, her and Valentine moved back into the Palace with Uncle Escalus. I'm not upset. My dad doesn't dote on me, he dotes on booze. Less of that story, anyway. Why put up with him? He's all old and wrinkly and yucky"

Lady Capulet glanced nervously at them. The boys had leant in, listening intently.

"No way I am going to tell you anymore of my secrets!" she snapped, leaping up. Her eyes widened at the sight of a camera.

"Oops" giggled Mercutio.


	20. Off To Church We Go!

Wow, it's Chapter 20! Seems like only yesterday I started this. Thanks you to japaneserockergirl and A, as usual! Your reviews are great!

Also, warning! Tybalt says something homophobic, takes off his clothes and thinks very little of Catholicism.

* * *

"Get up!" called Lady Montague through Tybalt's door. She rapped on it with her knuckles "Get up! We're going to church"

Tybalt groaned. The door handle wobbled, and she burst in. Through his half-open eyes, Tybalt saw her look of disgust at the mess he had made. There were empty used cups rammed on the bedside table, dirty underwear and clothes were lying all over the floor, and his case was open, with half his stuff spilling out. Tybalt himself didn't smell very nice. He tended to sweat a lot in the night, and he hadn't had a shower for a while. For all he knew, the Montagues could have put acid in the water system!

"It's absolutely disgusting in here! Honestly, Romeo always keeps his room clean"

"Yeah, so it's nice and romantic for when he and Mercutio sleep together!" yelled Tybalt "Get out! I'm not going to church!"

"Yes, you are. We always go to church on a Sunday morning. I'm not leaving you here. I wouldn't trust you in my house alone, even with my dogs on guard. Get up, get in the shower, and breakfast is on the table. Juliet's already washed and dressed. It's shocking how you two could be related!"

Tybalt glared at her, and then decided to shock her. He kicked the duvet off himself to reveal that he was only wearing a pair off boxers. She sighed, disgusted, and Tybalt rolled out the bed, hunting for his dirtiest, smelliest, scruffiest clothes to wear to church. Tybalt hated going to church. It was so boring, and Friar Lawrence was so old and dull. Tybalt didn't even know what the Holy Spirit was, and he just couldn't be bothered with the whole 'Love thy neighbour' rubbish.

The door banged open; this time Lord Montague stood there.

"Get in the shower, or else" he hissed "Do I have to grab the shower off the hook and do it myself?"

"No" snapped Tybalt, storming into the en suite bathroom. He ran the water, shrieking as it was cold, and then gave himself a quick clean. He stepped out, and thought better off wearing scruffy clothes to church. The Montagues would probably only give him more crap for it. Tybalt selected his least crinkled pair of jeans and an informal but smart tidy shirt. After putting on his trainers, he stormed downstairs. Juliet smiled at him – she was wearing a pretty summer dress and pumps.

"You look nice, Tybalt!" she said loudly.

"Shut up" snapped Tybalt, reaching for the cereal. He tipped in his bowl angrily and then slopped milk over half the table. He chewed rapidly and angrily. Juliet raised her eyebrows. He turned to her "Quit sucking up to them"

"Sucking up to who?" asked Juliet innocently.

"Who do you think? Them. The stinking Montagues"

"They don't stink. You're the one who stinks. Paulina came down and said about how dirty your room is and then about how you tried to flash her" chided Juliet.

Tybalt turned red "I did not try to flash her! She told me to get up, so I did. It's not my fault I like to sleep in boxers!"

Juliet sniggered.

"Bet you can't wait to get in that stupid church and suck up to all the stupid friars" Tybalt hissed.

"No, I'm looking forward to showing off about how nice we are" she pouted, and flashed a cheesy grin his way. Tybalt scowled. The door opened, and Lord and Lady Montague walked through.

"Hurry up, you two. We're going in a minute or two"

"I've nearly finished" swarmed Juliet.

"Good girl" smiled Lady Montague.

"Suck up" muttered Tybalt.

The Montagues ignored them, and waited for them to finish. Juliet finished, and put her spoon in her bowl "Right. I'm going to go and brush my teeth"

She left the room, and Tybalt was left slurping out the bowl with the Montagues. They both looked at him disapprovingly.

"What?" he snapped. They ignored him. Soon, they were outside walking to the church. Tybalt couldn't believe they were going to walk. He drove his car everywhere. This was going to be so boring. Sitting in a stuffy church whilst Friar Lawrence droned on about sex and morality. As if Tybalt cared! He did what he wanted, when he wanted, how he wanted, and no invisible man in the sky was going to tell him what to do!

Still, at least he had his mobile.

With Rosaline's number on, of course.


	21. Running Away

Oreokidz - thank you for your review! I'm so glad you think it's funny. And of course Mercutio **loves** Lady Gaga!

Japaneserockergirl - yes, Tybalt is indeed an A**!

A - thank you for your review! And all your other reviews, they're really sweet. As for Rosaline...pregnant? Now there's an idea! A mini-Tybalt sounds absolutely terrifying if you ask me! It's a good one, but I had a different surprise in plan. Not long now. Keep enjoying the story, I know I'm enjoying writing it!

Right, so what are the Montague boys up to today?

* * *

"So, Sunday" said Mercutio. He bounced up and down from where he sat on Benvolio's (currently) non-broken bed "What shall we do?"

"I don't know" replied Benvolio, with a shrug. Lord Capulet had snatched Mercutio's CD Player and Lady Gaga CD once again, and as from yesterday, everything they did to amuse themselves was somehow wrong. So now they were stuck with nothing to do.

"Let's go out" suggested Romeo "It'll be nice to get out of this creepy haunted castle and chill out down the park"

"Good idea" said Mercutio "We should go and see Hermia"

"Why, where's she at?" questioned Benvolio.

"She's living with Lysander. Lord Capulet kicked her out" explained Mercutio.

"Why?" asked Benvolio, shocked.

"Because she tried to dye her hair pink and then they had another argument and he was really cross with her" explained Mercutio "She told me all about it. It was so sad"

"Poor Hermia" sympathized Benvolio.

"So it's settled. Let's go and see Hermia" decided Romeo, standing up to go.

"We could take her some of her stuff. We are in her house" said Mercutio, with a hand gesture towards the direction of her room.

"Her room is locked. I tried it" said Romeo.

"What for?" asked Benvolio.

"To see if she still had one of my CDs" explained Romeo "I leant her my Miley Cyrus CD-"

"Wait - you have a Miley Cyrus CD?" said Mercutio, flying up right. Romeo blushed.

"Oh my God, you're as bad as Beatrix!" exclaimed Benvolio "Still, I wish she was here to sing 'Party In The USA' to Eugene"

"Mean old Eugene" Mercutio mused, lying back down on Benvolio's bed. He'd slept in Benvolio's bed that night. Romeo had refused to share with either of them as they were both being sick. Benvolio was not happy when Mercutio kicked him, stole half the duvet, started snoring loudly, and especially not when he started talking in his sleep about what an idiot Tybalt was.

"When we get back, we should play 'Hide and Seek'" said Romeo.

"Yay! That's my favourite game!" Mercutio cried, clapping his hands together "Right, come along now, children, shoes on. We're off to see Hermy-wa"

They shoved on their shoes and grabbed their jackets from their suitcases. They walked through the house with no bother, greeting servants as they went. It was when they got to the living room and where crossing it to go to the front door that Lord Capulet emerged.

"Where are you going?" he questioned angrily.

"Out" replied Mercutio.

"Out...where?"

"The brothel!"

"I beg your pardon!" snarled Lord Capulet.

"Peg it!" yelled Mercutio, slamming open the door. With liberated cheers, Romeo and Benvolio ran out of the front door and Mercutio followed after sticking his middle finger up at Lord Capulet. Lord Capulet yelled after them but they simply ignored him and ran. Mercutio pressed a button for the gate to open and it slowly creeked open as they cursed the slow speed.

When Lord Capulet reached them, Benvolio had just made it out the gate.

"Bye bye Eugene!" sang Mercutio, dancing in the street "You suck! You couldn't even catch us!"

"It's because he's so old!" added Romeo.

"Yeah, and wrinkly!" added Benvolio.

"I am not old and I am not wrinkly!" roared Lord Capulet as they turned and ran off again.

"Whatever. Goodbye! Go and tell someone else off for a change!"


	22. Texting Rosaline

Welcome to Chapter 22!

A - yes, Lord Capulet is so old and wrinkly! And boring! I wonder if our boys can loosen him up a bit more. And finally...we see Rosaline! Well, text messages from Rosaline. Tybalt is up to no good again...

* * *

'_Miss u big time, baby! Wish I was feeling better x'_

'_Miss ya 2, Monts made me go 2 church. Stupid idiots can't w8 till this godforsaken experiment is over!'_

Tybalt tapped out replies rapidly. No one had noticed so far. The Montagues were engrossed in the sermon. It was something dull, like treating others as we would like to be treated ourselves. Juliet looked bored, but she was listening politely. Tybalt breathed deeply, and received her next reply. God, he missed her. Tomorrow was Monday, which meant school for him and her. Maybe he could see her then. If she was feeling better, that was.

'_I miss u most. I want ur big strong arms around me, holding me tight and not letting me go. I want 2 feel you stroking my hair and kissing my forehead like you do when I'm upset. Love u xxx'_

Tybalt tapped out a reply, hoping the Montagues hadn't seen it. What he and Rosaline had was none of their business. He'd seen Lady Montague give him disapproving looks every time she was mentioned. It wasn't his problem if Rosaline preferred someone a bit more manly. Well, forget the 'a bit more' He was much more macho that that whiny little Montague trio together. Benvolio was a pathetic peace pleading geek. Mercutio was a disgusting, filthy minded dirtbag obsessed with sex. Romeo was a wimp who only cared about pretty girls and was too gay to function (and yes, Tybalt had watched Mean Girls. Juliet, Hermia and Rosaline made him) Tybalt reckoned he could probably fight them all at once with his hands tied behind his back to be kind.

'_Aw, Tibby, u have such an adorable sweet side. Thinking about u right now. U will be ok. Keep ur head up high, stick 2 ur guns & don't let them get u down'_

'_Will do. That's wot I've been trying to 2 do. Can u also do me a favour? If u feel better, can u go & check on mum 4 me. Montagues got mad at me 4 going yesterday evening & u know I worry about her. Thanks'_

'_No probs, Tibby. I will take some flu relieve & go out 4 some fresh air. Starting to feel bit better but am knocked for 6! Love ya xxx'_

'_Glad 2 know ur getting better. R u at school tomo?'_

'_Don't know. Will ask mum what she thinks. Would like 2 be better tomo as it means I can c u & have a nice hug! Love u sooo much xxx'_

Juliet glanced over at Tybalt as he tapped out a reply. Tybalt scowled, and hide the phone from her. She raised her eyebrows and looked over at Lord and Lady Montague. Tybalt mouthed "You wouldn't dare!"

Juliet smirked, knowing she had all the power.

Tybalt shook his head, mouthing 'NO!'

Juliet looked up at Lady Montague. Tybalt batted her with the back of his hand. 'NO!' he mouthed again, whilst trying to send the message. Juliet pulled a smug face.

"Stop it!" hissed Tybalt.

"Stop what?" she whispered back.

"That! Don't you rat on me!"

"What does that mean?" Juliet asked innocently.

"Tell them that I'm texting Rosaline!" A message replied, and Tybalt opened it. Juliet glanced over, reading a very thorough description of what Rosaline wanted to do with Tybalt as soon as she felt better. She waggled her eyebrows.

"Stop acting like Mercutio!" snarled Tybalt.

"I'm not acting like Mercutio" replied Juliet.

"Both of you, be quiet. It's time for communion" Lady Montague turned to whisper. Tybalt shoved his phone away quickly, and Juliet winked at him mischievously. After communion was finished, Tybalt shot a glare Juliet's way and began texting something rude about Lady Montague being an interfering old bat to Rosaline.

Juliet turned. Tybalt moved the phone away from her eyesight and accidently nudged the man next to him.

"Sorry!" hissed Tybalt. The man looked down at the phone and gave him a disapproving glance. Tybalt smiled, smugly, trying to take the spotlight off of him.

In doing so, he caught Juliet's attention again, and she looked over. Tybalt hit the send button and tried to hide the phone.

"Out of luck, Tibby" whispered Juliet deliciously, before patting Lady Montague on the shoulder. She turned. Tybalt quickly stuffed away his phone "Paulina, Tybalt's texting Rosaline and he called you an interfering old bat to her!"

Lady Montague leant over "Give me the phone"

"What phone? She's making it up!" lied Tybalt, as Friar Lawrence had everyone stand up for a hymn.

"Why would I do that?" Juliet asked innocently.

"Give me the phone, or else" threatened Lady Montague.

"I haven't got a phone!" lied Tybalt, as the first verse of the hymn began. Juliet picked up a bible and began to sing along sweetly. Tybalt knew she was laughing at him, and that only made him angrier. Lady Montague leant futher over to him.

"Give me that phone, now!" she hissed.

"No! I said, I don't have one. Don't your ears work?"

"My ears work perfectly fine, and so do my eyes. Now give me that phone!"

Tybalt reluctantly handed it over "There's nothing on there that I wouldn't say to your face, anyway"


	23. The Capulet Family Secrets

Annie - thank you for your kind words about my story, however it was mean of you to call A annoying and stupid. If she wants to review then she can. I happen to appreciate what other people review as it motivates me to write, even if they recommend silly youtube videos. I don't want any drama on my story, so even if a review seems dumb let's just ignore it, ok?

* * *

"I wonder if Hermia's going to watch the documentary when it's on TV" pondered Benvolio, as they walked down the road licking ice creams.

"Probably" said Mercutio. He turned to the man with a camera following them "Hey, you could do a reality series about Lord Capulet reconciling with his estranged daughter! Yeah, I'd so watch it!"

The guy behind the camera laughed and Mercutio beamed.

"Erm, you two, I know this sounds dumb, but how exactly is Hermia Lord Capulet's daughter?" asked Benvolio.

"Oh, honestly, Benvolio" sighed Romeo "Do you not join in when people laugh about the Capulets behind their backs?"

"No, because it's you doing it, and you know I don't like it when you say mean things about other people, even if they are the Capulets!"

"Ok, I'll explain" said Mercutio "Lord Capulet might be a wrinkly old man, but he certainly gets around. As you may already know, he and Lady Capulet are not in love. They only got together because of money and social status. So he had an affair with another woman while she was pregnant with Juliet"

"Oooh" said Benvolio.

"Then the woman's husband got mad at her because he'd had the snip-"

"Ew!" squealed Benvolio.

"So obviously baby Hermia couldn't be his. And then the woman died because of complications and the husband didn't exactly want a kid that wasn't his so Lord Capulet took Hermia in. And Lady Capulet pretends that she's hers. Don't tell anyone, or Lord Capulet will get cross. Oh, and Mr. Camera Man? Please don't play this on telly"

Mercutio skipped ahead down the road to Lysander's house. Benvolio and Romeo looked at each other, before hurrying after.

"Is her hair still pink?" asked Benvolio.

"No, it went green actually. I know this because I helped" said Mercutio "And I was going to do some of mine to annoy my own parents because we had some left in the bottle, but mine's too dark. You'd have to bleach it and then put the colour on. And after seeing Hermia's hair go green I decided against just trying to do it anyway"

"So it's still green?" asked Romeo.

"Of course not! We dyed it back the next day after she settled at Lysander's. But Lord Capulet's still mad at her for even daring to break aside his silly old traditional views"

"Stupid man" said Benvolio "Since this experiment started, I've just had more reason to hate him. He's mean, horrible, snappy, a hypocrite and a liar"

"Yeah, you tell them, Benny!" encouraged Mercutio "Here we are!"

He bounded up to the door and knocked. There were a few awkward moments of silence, before a petite girl answered the door with short ginger hair wearing jeans, boots and a purple corseted top.

"Wooshy-Wo!" cried Hermia.

"Hermy-wa!" answered Mercutio.

"Woo woo!" she cried, turning to Romeo.

"And Bennykins!" exclaimed Hermia, rushing forward to hug Benvolio "Oooh! He gets nerdier and cuter every time I see him!"

"Where's my hug!" demanded Mercutio.

"Here!" Hermia and Mercutio hugged.

When she let go, Mercutio smiled "How are you doing? I haven't seen you in ages!"

"Forget me, how about you! I heard about the swap through somebody in our gang. What's it like, living with Eugene?"

"Hell!" Benvolio all but screamed.

"We had to eat 'Sausage Surprise!'" cried Romeo "Oh, god, we were sick all night!"

"There's nothing to do!" exclaimed Benvolio.

"Mercutio broke the bed!" said Romeo.

"And we can't listen to Lady Gaga!" Mercutio pretended to sob.

"Ouch" said Hermia "Is he telling you off for absolutely...everything?"

"Yes!" all three boys shouted.

Hermia's green eyes gleamed "Why, I have just the thing"

"What is it?" asked Mercutio.

Hermia led them all in into the living room "Now. During my exile from the Capulet Haunted Castle, I have been writing two books"

"I thought you didn't like writing" said Mercutio.

"It's not bad. And that's because we have that evil English teacher"

"Oh, her. I hate her" nodded Romeo.

"And I did it on Lysander's laptop. One is called _'The Life And Scandals Of The Capulet Family'_ with at least half the book about Tybalt, and another was inspired by Juliet, about how to have fun and get away with it, about getting Lord Capulet around your little finger. Obviously, none of these worked for me, but they might for you"

"I don't want him to like me. I just want him to stop being an ass and just cooperate!" said Benvolio.

"He doesn't cooperate. He's a stubborn old goat" said Hermia, putting the laptop on the arm of the sofa. The boys gathered around as Hermia loaded up the page.

"Right, so we have to find his likes. And one of his hobbies is golf"

"Golf's for old people" said Romeo.

"I know. But pretend to take an interest. That's what Juliet does. He thinks she's a real little Daddy's girl because she pretends to be interested. And he also likes money. Any of you like money?"

"I'm good at maths" said Benvolio "We're doing percentages"

"Fun! Anyway, just say something about your math homework, and of course he'll be all 'What are you doing?' and curious"

"What about us?" asked Mercutio "How do I make him come around to the Mercutio Charm?" and he grinned demonically and clasped his hands to his cheeks.

"Unfortunately, many Capulets aren't compatible with the Mercutio Charm. But you could talk about a couple of certain old eighties songs"

"Why? Does Lord Capulet like eighties music?"

"That was his heyday! And you know how much we love playing Singstar, with the eighties version. So, do the Thriller dance and sing 'Like A Virgin' or 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' every now and then. He'll start talking about when he saw two of Madonna's tours and about how devastated he was when Michael Jackson died and he couldn't take us to go and see _This Is It_"

"Perfect" beamed Mercutio.

"And me?" asked Romeo.

"Erm...you just...compliment him on his tie"


	24. Tybalt, The Tree Killer

Thank you to Cornadopia, Porphyritic, the person who didn't sign with a name but liked the bit about Mr. Camera Man, and A, as usual! I'm so glad I'm making you all laugh!

So, after church, Tybalt gets told off (again) for sending rude text messages about the Montagues to Rosaline. She shall return! And so shall Hermia!

* * *

On the way home, Tybalt purposely shuffled at the back of the four. Part of him wanted to make a break for it again. Juliet shot him several smug glances every now and then. Lord and Lady Montague were saving a massive rant for him when they got in. Plus they'd confiscated his phone. Now, Tybalt was phoneless, boozeless, cigaretteless, Rosalineless, and very lonely.

When they got in, Lady Montague said she and Juliet would wait outside by the pool while Lord Montague spoke to Tybalt about his rude texts. Tybalt heard them start chatting as they left the room.

"This is disgusting" said Lord Montague, scrolling through Tybalt's texts. Tybalt sat sulking in a chair, silently. He merely shrugged.

"Does your girlfriend not have any self-respect?"

"Sure. She dumped Romeo for me" he chided.

"That's enough!" thundered Lord Montague "You know, I have never met a boy so insolent, so rude and so aggressive as you"

"I must your worst nightmare" Tybalt hissed, drumming his nails on his knee "I'll never do what you tell me to. Ever. You don't own me. You can't control me. You don't know what I'm capable of"

"I don't think I even want to know" Lord Montague read the text about his wife being an interfering old bat and sighed.

"Finished?" asked Tybalt.

"No. Why won't you cooperate? You know, the sooner you cooperate, the sooner you get respect, and the sooner you get what you want"

"I'll never cooperate with you! I'll dance to Mantua in a mankini first!" As he yelled, Tybalt's face grew redder, and redder. It was a trait he shared with his uncle.

Lord Montague snorted "I'd like to see that"

"Perv" snarled Tybalt.

"Whatever, Tybalt. Now, are you going to apologize?"

"Never" hissed Tybalt.

"The we're finished here" said Lord Montague "Now, I understand about your mum and your need for this phone to check on her. But, if you want this phone back, you have to earn it back"

"I'm not doing anything you tell me. You won't give it back anyway. Keep it. I don't care" Tybalt snarled.

"I know you do care, very deep down"

"Shut up!" shouted Tybalt "Stop talking to me like a five year old! I'm eighteen! In fact...if I'm eighteen, I shouldn't even be here. Escalus said all under eighteens would have to swap. But I'm not under eighteen. So there! Next time he turns up, I'm going to ask to go back home!"

"Fine. Have it your way. Now, go to your room, and get out of my sight"

Tybalt looked him in the eye. He was as tall as he was, and probably just as strong. He glared and glared until it was time for him to leave the room. But he didn't go to his room. Instead, he went to the very end of the garden, and kicked a tree apart.


	25. Benvolio And Eugene

Thank you to Oreoskidz, Porphyritic and A, as usual! I'm so glad you liked the last chapter. Poor tree indeed.

Soooo...after Tybalt kills a tree, we skip over to the Capulet Manor to Benvolio and Lord Capulet having a conversation. And we also find out about another feudal fight that took place twenty years ago, and a bit more about Benvolio's personality.

* * *

Benvolio was the first to put Hermia's tips to work, even though at the time he didn't realise it. He had school tomorrow, so he pulled out his maths book and started doing some homework on the dining table. He hadn't had a chance to do it at the weekend, thanks to their prank on Friday night. As Mercutio and Romeo were singing 'Billie Jean' in their room, it was fairly quiet downstairs, enabling him to concentrate.

Finally, Benvolio lost himself in the mathematical magic. Benvolio was proud to say that he was a geek, and enjoyed subjects such as maths, physics, chemistry and other stuff that people always moaned about. He was good at it too – not meaning to boast or anything. Even though there were those at his school who laughed at him, Benvolio didn't care. He had Romeo and Mercutio, and he'd rather have friends who were true than be popular. Besides, everyone knew that nerds like him would get all the good jobs, have a lot of money, and that those who'd laughed at them would simply have to work for them. Benvolio was looking forward to hiring the school's captain of the football team David to wash his car.

"What are you doing, boy?" growled a voice.

Benvolio froze. He'd never spoken to Lord Capulet on his own!

"Just my maths homework" he squeaked, turning around and showing him the book. He bent over and got back to work. Lord Capulet strode over.

"GCSE, Advanced Maths, Higher Tier? Wow, I'm impressed. And you're doing...percentages?"

"That's right" Benvolio trembled under his glare.

"Our Rosaline's ever so good with her numbers. She's taking Economics as an A Level this year. Is that what you're good at?"

"I'm good at it...but I like the sciency maths more. Like...finding the speed of objects in motion, and erm...finding the Parralax angle of a star or something"

"I didn't realise any of you Montagues had brains"

"We do, actually" Benvolio shot back "Well, apart from my sister"

Lord Capulet humphed "I have two sisters. Goneril and Regina"

"I only have Beatrix. She likes _Twilight_ and Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus"

Lord Capulet grimaced "Great"

"Oh, it sucks. She has a creepy, ugly, poster of Edward Cullen on her wall, and I think he looks hideous but she thinks he's sexy. And she has a poster of Justin Bieber and she kisses each poster every night before she goes to sleep. I hate having a sister!"

Lord Capulet chuckled low in the back of his throat. The sound sounded strange, alien to Benvolio "My sister Goneril had the brains in the family, and my sister Regina had the beauty. Only she had to marry a gangster that our father hated"

"Tybalt's dad?" asked Benvolio timidly.

"Yes, him. Hector"

"Isn't he serving a life sentence for killing my dad's best friend twenty years ago?" asked Benvolio "That's why I'm called Benvolio – I'm named after the poor guy"

Benvolio saw Mercutio and Romeo peeping around the corner and giving him a thumbs up.

"Good work" mouthed Mercutio.

But then the unpredictable old man snapped "I don't think bringing up that unfortunate event is particularly appropriate"


	26. Unruly Student

In celebration of my exams coming to an end in about a week's time, let's have a double update for this story!

Cornadopia - Benvolio would absolutely _love_ you to smack Beatrix around the head for liking Twilight, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber. So would Mercutio and the whole of Verona. But I bet Romeo secretly loves them as well, he he. I have an idea for Beatrix to appear, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll use it. And I have an idea of what Mercutio could say to her to get her to stop liking Twilight, involving Tybalt, Robert Pattinson and a lookalikes contest...

And as for that poor tree, Lady Montague tells Tybalt off!

* * *

Normally, Tybalt hated school. He attended Verona Grammar, although he often wondered how the hell he even managed to get a place or pass his GCSEs and then be accepted for another two years to do A Levels. Maybe his uncle had bribed the school exam boards to pass him, but either way, he didn't care. It made his mum happy that her little Tybalt was 'so clever'

Before taking A Levels, Tybalt had often played truant, drank alcohol and smoked on the premises, bullied the younger students, vandalized the teacher's cars and once he even pulled the fire alarm as a prank to get out of a maths test he hadn't revised for. Being with Rosaline had calmed his behaviour down at school a little, but he still hated it and swore at the teachers if they told him off for laziness.

Today, however, he hurried out of bed and dressed with a fervour to get out of the Montague's house. He was eating breakfast before Juliet, and even Lady Montague seemed shocked to see him, washed, dressed, and with his school books packed and laid out neatly in front of him.

"I take it you enjoy school"

"No" Tybalt shoved a mouthful of Cheerios in his gob "I just happen to like school more than your house"

"Whatever. I've made you both lunch and-"

"You've done what?" asked Tybalt.

"Made you lunch"

Tybalt stared at her. He was eighteen and in the last year of school. He did not need someone to make him a packed lunch!

"Why?" he asked.

"Because you need to eat" replied Lady Montague.

"Erm, thanks, but I usually nip done the chippy with my crew at lunch"

"You can't go to school without a proper meal!"

"What's wrong with chips? My mum lets me eat chips all the time. They're tasty"

"Your mum is going to end up with a very unhealthy son"

Tybalt shrugged "I don't care, so she doesn't care either"

Lady Montague shook her head disappointedly "Well, besides that, next time you're angry with my husband, please don't kick down my trees. I happen to quite like them as decoration"

"How did you know it was me?" challenged Tybalt.

"You see that man over there with the camera?"

"Yeah"

"He filmed you, you idiot. So next time you're angry, don't do it again"

"How about you ask your husband not to make me angry" swarmed Tybalt.

"He was trying to be reasonable with you"

"Yeah, right? You lot are the most unreasonable bunch of twats I've ever met! You're patronizing, and get your kicks out of humiliating me and treating me like a five year old. And anyway, I'm eighteen, I can just walk out of this place anytime I like, so there"

"Go on then" said Lady Montague "Do us all a favour"

"Well, I can't" replied Tybalt.

"Why not?" asked Lady Montague.

"Because I have to tell Escalus first. Next time I see him, I will"

"Ok. Whatever makes you happy" Lady Montague shook her head again "My Romeo would never act like you do"

"It's none of your business, so-"

"Morning!" announced Juliet "Looking forward to school, Tybalt?"

Tybalt smiled "Yeah, I'll see my girlfriend Rosaline. I have missed her"


	27. Meeting Up

A - I want to hear Romeo and Mercutio sing Billie Jean too! And yes, Beatrix is famed for her bad taste within the Montague family. I based her on a stereotypical view of a teenage girlx1000000.

Also, here's a warning. Tybalt makes several homophobic slurs at Mercutio. If homophobia offends you, feel free to skip over those bits.

* * *

The nurse woke the three boys, who also dressed frantically in an attempt to get out of the house. These three attended Verona Comprehensive, which was just down the hill from the grammar school. All three were intelligent and therefore capable of securing a place at a grammar school, but they had elected not to go to the grammar school because they didn't want to be stuck under a roof with Tybalt Capulet for seven hours. Plus, despite being different ages, they all wanted to be in the same school together. Out of all of them, Benvolio was predictably the best student, who behaved himself, was quiet in the lessons and did his work well. As previously stated, he was a maths and science nerd.

Romeo was the sort of student who only did well in the classes he liked, which meant English and history as he was a romantic at heart. However, if someone sat Romeo down and told him he needed work harder for something, he would probably do it (Or 'borrow' some of Mercutio's work that he'd done the previous year)

Mercutio was now taking A Levels, so he had dropped all the dull subjects he didn't enjoy, and was now only doing what he wanted to. He liked blowing things up in the chemistry department, learning swearwords in German and making bawdy obscure comments about some of the pieces of art he had to study in the art department.

But all in all, they enjoyed school a fair amount, although like most schools it had some lousy teachers, yucky food in the canteen, and chewing gum under the desks. The boys shoved down their breakfast and then ran out the door as quickly as they could to get away from Lord Capulet.

They arrived at the same time as Tybalt and Juliet did.

"Hello, Capulet Counter Parts!" greeted Mercutio "How's it going?"

"Good" replied Juliet.

Tybalt snorted "Yeah, right! I can't drink, I can't smoke, I can't text or phone people, I can't even breathe"

"I feel your pain" said Mercutio sarcastically.

"We can't listen to Lady Gaga, can't stay up late, can't jump on beds, can't play with the hose, can't watch 18 rated films, can't play with the frogs and we can't refuse to eat 'Sausage Surprise' next time your crazy mum makes it! Beat that!" cried Romeo.

"Don't call my mum crazy" hissed Tybalt.

"Shut up, Romeo!" Benvolio muttered, before Romeo could say a comeback.

"Oh, look, the train's here. Let's go to school everyone!" said Juliet.

They boarded the train, and found themselves sharing six seats around a tiny table. Tybalt slumped in a chair and shoved his feet up on the opposite chair. Juliet sat next to him so neither of the Montagues had to. Mercutio sat opposite Juliet, and Romeo sat next to Juliet with Benvolio opposite him.

"How's it going? Is my mum being nice?" asked Romeo.

"Your mum is lovely" smiled Juliet "She showed me all your baby photos"

"Oh no!" groaned Romeo, sinking his head in his hands.

"I like the one of you in your dungarees!" teased Juliet. Romeo groaned some more whilst Mercutio and Benvolio laughed.

"I saw ones of you two as well" said Juliet, turning to them.

"Hopefully not the one where I'm wearing lipstick" said Benvolio "I was a defenceless infant! Mercutio put it on me!"

Mercutio giggled "It suited you! You looked like Beatrix's Barbie doll!"

The group laughed again, apart from Tybalt.

"Shut up" he snapped "This whole 'Family Bonding' thing is making me sick. You're a suck-up, Juliet"

"You're a suck-up, Juliet" mimicked Mercutio in a high-pitched voice that didn't sound like Tybalt.

"Shut up!" snarled Tybalt.

"Shut up!" Mercutio mocked again, in the same high-pitched voice.

"You want to make something of this, faggot boy?"

Mercutio leapt up and flung himself at him. Tybalt fell off his seat and rolled around on the floor. Other passengers gathered around and watched them as they brawled. The other three looked at each other horrified as Tybalt grabbed a fistful of Mercutio's hair and Mercutio slapped Tybalt across the face.

"Stop it!" cried Benvolio, running around in circles "Let go of him, Mercutio! You're better than him! Don't stoop to his level!"

"Tybalt, pack it in! Leave him alone!" yelled Juliet, reaching down into the fray to pull at the shoulder of Tybalt's hoodie. Benvolio and Romeo had grabbed hold of Mercutio's arm and pulled him away onto their side of the compartment. But Tybalt was too heavy for a young girl like Juliet and he continued to rain his fists on Mercutio's face now that he couldn't defend himself. Romeo decided enough was enough and let go of Mercutio and ran to Tybalt's side to help Juliet yank him off Mercutio. Both boys struggled against their captor's grip.

"Enough is enough!" shouted Juliet "There is a camera man right in front of us, and I don't think the rest of Verona wants to watch you two try to kill each other!"

"They won't be watching us try to kill each other, they'll watch me rid the world of this batty boy! And then they'll thank me for it!"

"Pack it in with the homophobic slurs! It's not cool!" Juliet shouted again "You look like a complete idiot, Tybalt"

"Oooh, she's told him now. He's all red!" mocked Mercutio, as Benvolio dabbed at his bleeding nose with a tissue.

"And you're no better yourself. Didn't you hear Benvolio? Don't stoop to his level!"

"Yes, mum" said Mercutio. Tybalt was still livid, so Juliet pushed him down in his chair.

"You're embarrassing me!" she hissed at him.

"As if I care about what my kid cousin thinks!" Tybalt answered back. Benvolio dabbed at Mercutio's nose, looked at Tybalt, red and sweaty, and simply sighed sadly.


	28. One More Teenager

Well. This is it. Tybalt's surprise. Guess who shows up in this chapter...

Thank you A and Porphyritic. I'm glad you liked the fight! I'm surprised how everyone is saying how they feel sorry for Tybalt. I suppose it's because I planned his backstory in greater detail than I did the other three boys. Mercutio is also my favourite character. I guess I just don't like to mess with Shakespeare's perfection!

* * *

Juliet walked home with her books tucked under arm whilst Tybalt cursed Rosaline's flu to hell and back.

"She said she'd be back" he growled.

"Well, she isn't. Deal with it. Besides, you couldn't exactly get it on in the school cupboard, could you?"

"We did once"

Juliet stared at him horrified.

"Joke"

They walked on in silence. It seemed since the experiment had began a large wooden wedge had been driven between them. It was surprising considering how close the two cousins usually were. Especially as Juliet was so eager to cooperate, and Tybalt refused to have anything to do with the Montagues.

But today was different. Tybalt dumped his books on a coffee table and wandered around, waiting for one of the Montagues to come out and yell at him for no reason. Juliet followed, still carrying her bag as she had some homework to do.

"Where is everyone?" asked Juliet.

"Perhaps they're dead" said Tybalt hopefully.

"Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Tibby" trilled a familiar voice.

Tybalt spun around to see a beautiful girl of seventeen standing in the doorway. Her baby blue eyes batted under her long dark lashes and her thick blonde hair was brushed to perfection around her face. Her toned curvaceous body burst against her tight low cut top and short skirt. Her feet were clad in her signature pair of stiletto heels and her lips were coated in her favourite red lipstick.

"Ros!" exclaimed Tybalt.

"Tibby!" squealed Rosaline.

Rosaline ran across the room and Tybalt scooped her up into his arms.

"How are you feeling? I thought you were still sick!"

"I got better this morning and I called Uncle Egues to ask if I could see you! He called Escalus, and now I'm part of this experiment"

"They're driving me nuts! I can't smoke, I can't drink-"

Rosaline put a red manicured finger to his lips "Don't get mad, baby, I'm here now. It'll be a lot more fun now you've got me here"

Juliet mimed vomiting.

Escalus, Lord and Lady Montague walked into the room.

"So, I think now would be a good time to leave you with Rosaline?" asked Escalus.

"Of course. I'll see her to her room" said Lady Montague. She didn't look at all happy about the new addition to the experiment.

"Oh, that's ok, she can share my room" interrupted Tybalt, putting her down.

"I bet you've trashed it!" giggled Rosaline, caressing his stubbly cheek "You're so messy!"

"I have, actually!"

"My messy Tibby"

"Is mum ok?" asked Tybalt "Did you go and see her?"

"I sent Livia around and she said she's ok. She misses you and says she's going to bake you a cake with a cat on it like she does for your birthdays for when you get home"

"Oh, god" grumbled Tybalt "Not Cat Cake!"

Juliet snorted.

"Hello, you two?" said Lady Montague "I said I'd show Rosaline to her room"

"I said it's ok, she can share with me" answered Tybalt.

"Your room only has a single bed" said Lady Montague.

"We can cuddle up" whispered Tybalt into Rosaline's ear, making her giggle and Juliet mime vomiting again.

"I don't think that's appropriate" frowned Lord Montague.

"What? My mum lets her sleep over all the time!"

"And so does mine" added Rosaline.

"I'm going to go now" muttered Escalus, creeping out the door. Juliet glanced after him, wishing she could go too.

"Well, kindly remember, this is our house, so you will follow our rules, whether you want to or not" reminded Lady Montague.

"Yeah, Tybalt!" swarmed Juliet.

"Shut it, Montague-Licker!" snapped Tybalt.

"Montague-Licker? That's a new one!" Rosaline sniggered "I do hope she's not turning out like the Family Slag Hermia"

"Shut up about Hermia!" shouted Juliet.

"Oh, defensive are we?" mocked Rosaline.

"Hermia isn't a slag" breathed Juliet.

"All right, girls, break it up" commanded Lord Montague "Paulina, show Rosaline her room. Did you two get any homework today? You can both get on with it if you did"

Rosaline reluctantly picked up her cases and followed Lady Montague out the room, but Tybalt ignored Lord Montague and hurried after and took the suitcases from her.

"Aw, Tibby, ever more the gentleman. I have missed my baby"

Tybalt leant in for a kiss, but Lady Montague coughed loudly, and so Tybalt reluctantly let go.


	29. Temper, Temper, Scheming, Scheming

WAHOO MY EXAMS ARE OVER!

Ok, that's enough! Sorry for the wait, I have been finishing up with exams and just getting that final revision done. Thanks to my reviewers, Magenta (Great name) Jocasta Silver, bluesheepy and A, of course! You guys are awesome, you all helped me get to 50 reviews! Anyway, Magenta, yes Paris will turn up, just not yet and not for very long. Have a spoiler - Juliet will be rude to him.

Anyway, after Juliet founds out about Rosaline joining them, she calls up the Montagues in a state of anger, and we some of Rosaline's evil side. Or rather, Juliet's opinion of her.

* * *

For once, silence had come over the Capulet Manor. Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio were quietly doing their homework together in the front room when the phone began to ring.

"Should we get Lord Capulet?" asked Benvolio.

"No" said Mercutio. He picked it up "Hello, Capulet's Crocodile Farm, how may I help you?"

"Not funny, Mercutio" replied Juliet.

"Oh, hello Female Tybalt!"

"I'm not a Female Tybalt, that's Rosaline. But anyway, is Romeo there?"

"What do you want to talk to Romeo for?" questioned Mercutio.

"Nothing. It's private"

"How private? I'm his best friend. He tells me everything. I even know what colour boxer shorts he has on today – OW! Romeo!"

"Yes?" said Romeo, having successfully wrestled the phone away from his grasp.

"Hey, it's me!"

"Juliet!" cried Romeo happily.

"Ssh...keep your voice down. I don't want dad to hear, I just want to talk to you for a couple of uninterrupted minutes"

"Oh. What's happened? Is everybody ok?"

"Yeah, we're all good. I don't now if you know this, but me and Tybalt just came home from school, and Escalus was here, talking to your parents. You won't believe who has just been dropped off at your house to take part in the experiment!"

"Tybalt's crazy mum?" suggested Romeo.

"No! That evil heart-stabbing, money grabbing cow, Rosaline Oftmoro!"

"WHAT!" exclaimed Romeo.

"What's this?" asked Mercutio, listening in. He and Benvolio tumbled down against where Romeo sat to listen in as Juliet's words tumbled down the phone in a violent fit of passion.

"We just got home, no one was around, Tybalt went on about them being dead, you know what he's like, and then Rosaline is just standing in the doorway, dressed like a tart, and Tybalt just started making out with her and it was disgusting. She said she talked to dad and asked to see Tybalt, and then got put on the experiment! And Escalus turned up and said he was about to leave, and then your mum said she'd show Rosaline to her room and Tybalt was all 'She can share with me' and your parents were like 'That's not appropriate' and Tybalt went like 'She sleeps in my bed at home' and 'My mum doesn't care' and then your parents said 'You only have a single bed' and Tybalt started whispering in her ear 'We can cuddle up' and I just wanted to vomit and he just called me a Montague-Licker! It's so unfair. Why should Tybalt get his girlfriend to keep him happy when all he's done is cause trouble, be rude, not even make an effort to get along with Paulina and Claudio, and disrespect their religion?"

"That's not fair! It's meant to be Capulets and Montagues only!" protested Benvolio.

"Ehem" said Mercutio.

"Well, Mercutio, you're practically family, so it doesn't count..."

"Exactly!" buzzed the phone "If Tybalt can have Rosaline to keep his bed warm, then I don't see why I can't invite all my friends round to take part too! Well, I don't actually care about that bit, I just don't want her here and I don't want him being rewarded with her being here!"

Mercutio snorted "Why do you hate her? I'm impressed"

"Because she's a life ruiner who threw Hermia down the stairs after Hermia stole her boyfriend"

"She did WHAT to my Hermy-wa!" shrieked Mercutio.

"She threw her down the stairs" repeated Juliet for dramatic effect "She turned Tybalt against Hermia when we were kids, and calls Hermia a bastard and spreads rumours about her, and one time, Hermia locked her in the bathroom with the spider in because Rosaline had called her a bastard again and when Tybalt let her out they started an 'I Hate Hermia' club and they wrote a book about all the stupid things she's ever done!"

"We went to visit Hermia yesterday. She's all alone" cried Mercutio.

"I know. Rosaline told dad to kick her out. Well, Tybalt did, but Rosaline helped! Rosaline secretly wants to run our family, and as soon as I'm Lady Capulet, she'll probably try and bump me off to take over with Tybalt because he's the only boy!"

"Bitch" breathed Romeo "Tell me again, Mercutio and Benvolio, why did I ever fancy her?"

"You did what?" asked Juliet, suddenly alert.

"She manipulated me too" said Romeo "She made me fancy her, and fall in love with her, and then she told me she part of one of those Chastity Club things and didn't want anything to do with me and that I had a face like a camel, and a week later, Mercutio caught her with Tybalt at the cinema, and told me. I didn't believe him, and then Benvolio saw them in the back of his car outside his dad's nightclub, and he told me, and I didn't believe him. And then Mercutio and Hermia filmed them making out at the ice skating rink and showed it to me! I cried"

"Bitch" added Juliet again "Right now, her and Tybalt are arguing with your mum about whether or not they can sleep in the same room. Your dad's getting really shouty"

"He never gets shouty with me! He's firm, but fair"

"I know! They've all been nice to be. I showed your mum my belly piercing. She thinks it's cool!"

"Yeah, mum is cool" agreed Romeo.

"Awww" teased Mercutio in the background "So what are we going to do?"

"I think we should demand that more people come and stay with us" said Benvolio "It's only fair! I'll demand Beatrix comes back from France, and Mercutio, you can demand that Hermia joins the experiment, either with us or Juliet so she can back her up against Rosaline, and Juliet, you can demand that your friends join in. Why should Tybalt be rewarded with his girlfriend when he hasn't been cooperating and has just punched Mercutio in the face, disrespected my uncle and aunt's religion, been rude to them when they tried to be kind, and just been a stupid chav. Let's stand up for ourselves!"

"Yes!" exclaimed Mercutio, punching the air "We will not rest! And, while you're at it, Juliet, try and break Rosaline and Tybalt up. Just say you saw Rosaline with Paris or someone like that. Tybalt's stupider than Romeo – he'll actually fall for it!"


	30. Rosaline & Tybalt vs The Montagues

Special thanks to A, Oreoskidz, Magenta, and Porphyritic. So glad you liked the update.

A - I don't much will come of the Paris and Rosaline bit, I think that was just Mercutio scheming. But it's plausible. I don't know what I'm going to do with Tybalt in the end. **Any suggestions would be welcome**.

Magenta - I hope Juliet knocks some sense into Tybalt and Rosaline too, although I'm not sure where I'm taking those two yet. **Any suggestions would be welcome**. I'm glad 'Capulet Crocodile Farm' made you laugh. It seemed like a daft silly random Mercutio thing to day.

And finally Porphyritic - we'll soon see what Mercutio, Benvolio and Romeo do about their plan in the next chapter...

I can't believe this story is thirty chapters old! I ought to start thinking about an ending. So today, Tybalt and Rosaline take on Lord Montague and Juliet is embarressed by Tybalt and spills another one of his secrets. Could this be the start of the two cousin's close relationship coming to an end?

* * *

Juliet felt better after her rant. It felt so good to moan all her worries away. Rosaline was shrieking upstairs about her and Tibby wanting to be together. Juliet wincing, thinking that she sounded exactly like a banshee. The Tybalt started yelling, and this time Juliet scowled, and began to think of revenge plans. First of all, she had to stay in Claudio and Paulina's good books, but also cause friction between them all.

"How are you doing down here?" Juliet slammed down the phone and whirled around to face Paulina.

"Fine. Sorry, someone just rung on the telephone about double glazing"

"That's all right" Paulina sank onto the sofa with a sigh, and put her face in her hands "That boy. And that girl. I have never met anybody like them. Why are they so...so...why won't they just cooperate and respect our wishes and do as we tell them?"

"I have no idea, but Rosaline makes Tybalt worse" added Juliet.

"I'll say. Why is he so narrow-minded? You're a lovely girl. You know, I never thought I'd say this about a Capulet, but you are exactly the sort of girl I'd want Romeo to bring home!"

Juliet's heart soared with glee, and her tongue became stuck in her mouth, too heavy with things she wanted to say. The time was right, the time was now. She beamed, wanting to say something, but found her tongue still stuck. She only managed a stammered "Thank you"

Paulina smiled kindly "I bet you must be your parents pride and joy"

"I wouldn't go that far" said Juliet, pulling up her shirt to look at her belly piercing. Paulina simply laughed at her humour. Meanwhile, Tybalt yelled something very rude and very loudly.

"He embarrasses me" added Juliet "I used to think he was a great cousin. But this experiment has only proven to me that I am related to a complete and utter idiot!"

Rosaline's shrieks hit a new pitch. Juliet raised her eyebrows.

"Make that two complete and utter idiots!"

"You poor thing. It will get better. Our Beatrix and our Benvolio don't get on at all. They're not that bad, considering, but they do argue a lot. Beatrix loves Twilight, and the person in it, Edward Cullen or something. And that other one, erm...Jacob Black, isn't it? She talks about it all the time and it drives Benvolio nuts. He's even hidden the books from her and tried to explain why it's so badly written, but she doesn't listen and they just argue with each other. But underneath it all, they're family, and Benvolio even swallowed his pride to go and buy her the soundtrack to the films for Christmas"

"I guess" said Juliet. She sat down. Soon, Claudio made his way downstairs, very red in the face from shouting. He slouched in an armchair.

"I made her put her suitcases in the other room. But I haven't stopped them from going in each other's rooms or anything like that. He is the most hellish kid I have ever encountered. How the hell does Regina put up with him?"

"She doesn't" said Juliet "She just lets him do whatever. Because she's convinced he is a 'good boy really' You know, one time the police raided their house for drugs. They didn't find any, but Tybalt still didn't help by mouthing off and attracting all the neighbour's attention!"

"Drugs?" asked Paulina, mortified.

"Yeah. He used to do drugs. Did he not tell you?"

Both Montagues shook their heads in shock.


	31. The Protest

Magenta - Yep, that's Tybalt all right. Trouble is his middle name. But is Juliet exaggerating? And yes, the bit where Lady Montague said Juliet was the type of girl she'd want Romeo to bring home was deliberate! I'm still uncertain about Beatrix. She is not an interesting girl - she is a silly stereotype I invented to annoy Benvolio with! But it might be fun to see Lord Capulet trying to tell her Twilight is isn't real and then make her scream at him or something!

Jocasta Silver - wait and see...

Porphyritic - Yes, I am thinking of an ending, but I have at least another twenty chapters to go. I don't write this as I go, I'm always writing it above five or ten chapters that I've already posted. I know what I want to do with the Montagues, Hermia and Juliet, but I don't know about Tybalt and Rosaline. Also, today you get to see Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio's plan in action in this chapter, so hopefully this should be entertaining.

Lastly, everyone knows Benvolio for his peaceful nature, but today we see him crack. Is the feud getting to his head?

* * *

"What is this?" demanded Lord Capulet, upon encountering Mercutio, Benvolio and Romeo lying on his bedroom floor.

"A protest" replied Benvolio idly.

"Against what?"

Romeo glanced up "We want Hermia! Or else!"

"You want...Hermia?" asked Lord Capulet incredulously.

"Yes" said Mercutio, rolling over to face him "You're a mean old man, Eugene. Kicking out your own daughter! And now, we're not going to move until you go to Lysander's house, apologize for kicking her out, and ask her to move back home. Meanwhile, we'll lie here. We won't get up until she's in this room!"

"How dare you tell me what to do about my daughter!" yelled Lord Capulet.

"How dare you let Tybalt have his girlfriend with him on the experiment to keep his bed warm and not let us have our friends here!" shouted Benvolio. Romeo looked shocked. Mercutio looked very impressed.

"I. Beg. Your. Pardon?" snarled Lord Capulet.

"He said...HOW DARE YOU LET TYBALT HAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH HIM ON THE EXPERIMENT TO KEEP HIS BED WARM AND NOT LET US HAVE OUR FRIENDS HERE!" screamed Mercutio.

"Don't you dare shout at me!"

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" yelled Romeo.

"Now get Hermia, or else!" demanded Mercutio.

Lord Capulet fizzed with anger. His face had turned a funny purplish red colour and he looked like he was about to erupt.

"THAT'S IT, I AM GOING TO CALL ESCALUS AND HAVE HIM GET RID OF YOU ALL! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!"

"Good, because I can't take you anymore! I want to go home!" Benvolio shouted after him as he stomped out the room.

"Go, Benvolio! That was awesome!" cheered Mercutio. Benvolio beamed with pleasure, and blushed.

"Who are you and what on earth have you done to my shy and peaceful cousin?" asked Romeo.

"I don't know" admitted Benvolio "It's just, he's been so mean and horrid when we've tried to be nice. I can see exactly why we want to feud with the Capulets now. I was so mad at him, and it all boiled up and up and then I just let go and let rip at him!"

"I think you really shocked him" added Mercutio "I think maybe Escalus is going to stop this now. It was never going to work"

"Hey, you two" said Romeo.

"Yeah?" said the others.

"If he doesn't stop it...are you up for a house party?"

"Hell yes!" declared Benvolio "We'll buy more Lady Gaga CDs, and play her with a vengeance!"

"Her new album is out. I need to get that. I'm sure he'll love Born This Way!" giggled Mercutio.

"Oh yes. And Judas. That one is good" added Romeo.

"Juda-Juda-Ah!" sang Mercutio.

"And what else? What about a really rude song, something he'll really hate" suggested Benvolio.

"Yeah. Anything that's new, uptempo, and controversial. I know – Katy Perry, I Kissed A Girl. He will hate it" said Mercutio.

"Good" said Romeo "So that's it. We're having a party. When?"

"Whenever we want" said Mercutio "Got your party clothes, Benvolio?"

"I don't need any. I want to piss off Eugene!"

Lord Capulet stormed back into the room "I've called Escalus. He'll be round here later. You three are in trouble, that's all I'm saying"

Mercutio blew a loud wet raspberry "Who gives a..."

"That's enough!" Lord Capulet snapped "What is it with you three? Why won't any of you teenagers do as I say?"

"Because teenagers don't do what you say!" argued back Romeo "Before you say Juliet does, I'll have you know she climbs out her bedroom window to hang out with boys, behind your back, got Tybalt to take her to get her belly pierced, behind your back, and hangs out with us and Hermia, behind your back. She doesn't have any respect for you, she just talks about you, behind your back! Everyone does! The whole of Verona, not just the Montagues, are laughing about you behind your back!"

"How dare..." hissed Lord Capulet.

"You know he's right" swarmed Mercutio "Isn't he, Benvolio? Compared to what some teenagers get up to, this was nothing. Hermia dyeing her hair pink...you want to be grateful she hasn't been off getting troublesome boyfriends and smoking"

"Fine! I'll call Escalus, tell him not to bother coming around, and then I'll go and talk to Hermia, and if she's sorry, I'll let her back home with me!"

He left. Mercutio turned to the other two "Whoop! Whoop! High-five!"


	32. Lord Capulet And Hermia Interlude

So, after a row with the Montague boys, Lord Capulet decides to go and see Hermia and see if she'll come home.

Magenta - Yes, the Capulet men are complete and utter ass's. Perhaps Egues will redeem himself here, although he is being a bit of a bigot about Mercutio. I see what you mean about Beatrix. I might have her come to pick Benvolio up at the end and telling him something annoying and Twilight related.

A - I have thought of something I could do with Tybalt, but thanks anyway!

Porphyritic - Yeah, angry Benvolio! Awesome!

Warning! Lord Capulet calls Mercutio gay and is mean about him being so flamboyant. If homophobia offends you, just skip over those bits.

* * *

Lord Capulet stomped down the road. He couldn't believe he was doing this. He thought he'd washed his hands clean of the girl. She'd been nothing but trouble. Not only did she have the stigma of being a part of his secret affairs, but she'd been hell bent on rebelling and causing chaos for him and the family. She'd fallen down the stairs and pretended Rosaline had pushed her, and shut the poor girl in the bathroom with the spider in. No wonder she and Tybalt had banded together and wrote silly stuff about her.

But still, she was his daughter. She had the same value and worth as Juliet. And they were close. Even if she continued wrecking havoc, at least he'd have a clearer conscience. And he could get those stupid Montagues off his back.

He rapped on the door. That Lysander boy answered. Lord Capulet scrutinized him. Black hair, brown eyes, no piercings or tattoos. He was dressed in jeans and a shirt. That was acceptable enough.

"Lord Capulet" he said, nervously.

"You must be Lysander. Where's Hermia?"

"She's upstairs painting her nails. Would you like to come in, or shall I go and get her?"

Lord Capulet contemplated it "I'd like to talk to her in private"

"I'll bring her out here, then, if you don't mind. My sisters are having an argument in their room, and there aren't really many private places in the house"

"Thank you" said Lord Capulet. The boy turned away and dashed up the stairs. Lord Capulet rocked on his heels. Soon, his petite ginger daughter stood in front of him, with her electric blue nails. He frowned, but quickly turned it into a smile.

"What do you want?" scorned Hermia "I've heard all about you tormenting the boys"

"I'm not tormenting them, I'm disciplining them" scowled Lord Capulet "That nail varnish colour is totally..."

"Inappropriate? Unconservative? Cheap? Loose? Tacky?"

"Whatever. I'm not here to talk about nail varnish"

"Oh. So what do you want?"

"I just wanted to see if you were ok" said Lord Capulet "And if you felt ready to come home"

"Come home? To what? You yelling at me and being evil all the time?"

"No. I'm going to calm down, and be less strict. And you'll have that annoying gay boy Mercutio to keep you company for two weeks with all his Montague friends"

"He isn't gay, stop being so homophobic" chided Hermia.

"What else is he? He listens to Lady Gaga, makes dirty puns about such things, acts so camp he could put up a tent and in his suitcase he has a pair of pink trousers. And that's what Tybalt calls him!"

"So what if he's a bit flamboyant? I happen to think he's hilarious, loyal and a good friend. It doesn't matter whether he is gay or not, he's still my Wooshy-wo. If all you've come here to do is moan at me about my friends, then you can go home. I like it here. I don't have to eat 'Sausage Surprise!' and I can go out wearing whatever I want"

Lord Capulet thought of the irritating boys lying on his bedroom floor. He couldn't give up now.

"I'm not here to insult them, I just think we need another chance. I don't want to lose you"

Hermia's ginger eyebrows raised "Really? This is a first"

Lord Capulet sighed "So what do you say? Will you come home? I'll let you watch that stupid film – Mean Girls, isn't it?"

"Me and Mercutio could have movie night"

"Exactly. Do you want some help packing your bags?"


	33. The Party

A - Did I mention Hermia also stole Rosaline's boyfriend...? (Not Tybalt, the one before) and that when they were kids Rosaline used to throw those gummy snakes at Hermia because Hermia hates snakes? They have some history!

Magenta - Yeah! That's my favourite part of Hermia sticking up for Mercutio. I love the rivalry I made between her and Rosaline. And Egeus does love her, deep down. I haven't got anything particularly special planned for Tybalt. Shall I kill him off? Perhaps Hermia and the Montagues could get together and stab him? JOKE!

Porphyritic - Glad I made you laugh!

Today, Tybalt and Rosaline plan their campaign against the Montagues. Also, see if you can guess who some of their party guests will be!

* * *

"We showed them, Ros!" exclaimed Tybalt, as they reclined on his bed. His arm was around her shoulders, and hers was over his chest. Her blonde hair splashed over his shoulder and her blue eyes peeked up at him.

"We sure did, Tibby. I told you – we stuck to our guns, and we won. We will win this thing"

"I know. I love you"

"I love you too. Now I'm here, the Montagues will be lucky if their house is still standing. We ought to have a house party" suggested Rosaline.

"Totally. We should get Sam, Greg and Petruchio round here. We can get some banging tunes and blast this house apart" agreed Tybalt.

"Brilliant. We could do it on Friday night, so we have a week to get the music, get the drinks, get some food, and get as many people as possible to come. So let's start with our gang. I'll invite Shari and Kaila, and I'll also invite those girls in my Economics class, Maria, Frances, Katharine and Jaquenetta. I'll invite Celia too, I'm friends with her. And then you can invite Sam, Greg, Peter and Petruchio. And get them to bring their friends, like Aaron. Who else?"

"What about a friend for Juliet?"

"No way" said Rosaline.

"No, I meant it sarcastically. I know how much she_ loves_ that Paris kid"

Rosaline snorted "I am proud to call you my boyfriend. Should I invite my sister?"

"I suppose. If Livia wants to come, she can. Oh, and get Demetrius, Chiron and Alarbus to come. Should we invite Lysander and Hermia to stir things up?"

"No, because Hermia will squeal on us to the Montagues. Just invite Demetrius and then we'll tell him Hermia fancies him – really badly. And we should invite my cousin Roderigo and some of his friends. They're really burly army guys, so they'll scare the Montagues into not telling us off. And then I'll invite my brother Gabriel. The Montagues hate him for what he did to Benvolio"

"Excellent" smirked Tybalt "We are going to show those Montagues. We will humiliate them, like they've been doing to me all weekend. Did you hear what they did about my mum?"

"What?"

"I went home to check on her, after Lord Montague yelled at me for smoking outside of his house, which he asked me to do, and he stormed in when I was eating my dinner and started shouting. And then Romeo said 'Sausage Surprise!' was like cat food and upset her. And then Lord Montague tried to make me have a sappy little heart-to-heart with him. I told him why I stormed off, and he just ignored me. And the next day, because I was texting you in church, they took my phone, read all our messages, and they still have it so I can't make sure she's ok!"

"Those bastards" breathed Rosaline "Don't you worry, Tibby darling. I've got my phone. I've got your mum's number. We'll call our friends from here, and you can use it to check on your mum"

"Thank God" sighed Tybalt "I just hope she hasn't burnt the house down or anything"

"She seemed all right when Livia checked on her. She clucked over her, saying what lovely hair she has, so she's probably not doing too badly. She says she misses you"

"She would. No one to _feed_" muttered Tybalt.

"I suppose that's the only benefit of this experiment. Romeo and the rest of his silly little trio have to eat your mother's cooking instead!"

Tybalt snorted with laughter, sitting up after Rosaline handed him his phone.

"Hello? Mum? It's me, Tybalt. I've just called to check if you were ok. Yes, I'm fine. Rosaline's here – they took my phone so I'm using hers. I know they're idiots. Yes, I can't wait for you to make me a cake. Yum. Tasty. Have you got everything you need? If you don't, remember, call Uncle Egues and he'll look after you. Ok, I have to go now. Me and Rosaline are hosting a party on Friday night to piss off the Montagues, but it's a secret, so keep your trap shut? No, we don't need any food! We're fine! Right, see you later. Love you"


	34. The Other Party

japaneserockergirl - Yes, things are going to get ugly indeed. Someone will even get hurt. But who?

Magenta - Glad you liked them! Did you recognise anyone else? Some more people are being mentioned in this chapter!

So, Tybalt and Rosaline are having a party on Friday night. So what do Hermia, Benvolio, Romeo and Mercutio decide to do?

* * *

"Look who's here!" called Lord Capulet, opening his bedroom door "Hermia!"

"Hermy-wa!" cried Mercutio, leaping up "Yay!"

"Hey Wooshy-wo!" Hermia and Mercutio hugged. Benvolio and Romeo got up, nursing aching bones from lying on the hard floor.

"Are we going to have fun tonight?" asked Mercutio.

"You can watch that stupid 'Mean Girls' film if you want" grunted Lord Capulet.

"Woohoo! Mean Girls! Mean Girls!" chanted Hermia and Mercutio, whirling each other around. Romeo raised an eyebrow and turned to Benvolio slyly.

"This is experiment is going to get a little more interesting, don't you think?"

"We'll be having a party before we know it!" muttered Benvolio.

"Great idea, Benvolio, let's have a party!" announced Hermia, letting go of Mercutio to dance around with Benvolio instead.

"No" said Lord Capulet firmly.

"Pretty please or I'll cry?" simpered Mercutio, batting his eyelids.

"You can cry"

"Pretty please with pears and sugar on top or we'll all cry?" simpered the rest of the group together.

"Cry! All of you, cry!"

"Please" wheedled Hermia "It will be fun! We won't invite loads of people, and we won't cause any trouble. We'll just invite Hamlet, Ophelia, Laertes, Horatio and sensible people like that!"

"Yeah, and my older, more sensible brother Valentine and his friend Proteus, and Silvia. See, they're really sensible. I mean, Valentine once stopped me from kidnapping one of Tybalt's cats" whined Mercutio.

"What?" asked Lord Capulet.

"Oh, nothing" said Mercutio quickly "I was just talking about my sensible older brother Valentine, and how he's so responsible, and reliable, and well-behaved"

"What about Paris?" said Lord Capulet.

"No" said Romeo and Mercutio at the same time.

"Why not? He behaves himself"

"Erm...well, he's been seeing a doctor for an extreme case of bad breath. I don't think you'd want him here, stinking all the guests out with such disgusting emissions coming from his mouth" lied Mercutio.

"Besides, we can invite Adam and Balthasar instead. They don't have stinky breath" said Romeo.

"And neither does my friend Helena" pestered Hermia "Hey! We'll even let you dance"

"No! Honestly, Hermia, you haven't even unpacked your bags, and you're drawing up a guest list for a party that isn't even going to happen" scolded Lord Capulet, folding his arms sternly "Now, all of you, get out of my room and go back to your own rooms"

The teenagers moaned and sighed as they filtered out the room. Mercutio helped Hermia carry her suitcase (which was so big she could probably fit inside it) and they headed towards her locked room that Hermia then unlocked.

"We can always invite Lucio...he's sensible" Lord Capulet heard Romeo saying as they went. He shook his head. These kids were unbelievable.

"And how about Miranda and Ferdinand?" asked Mercutio.

"Yeah, and Nerissa and Portia!" Benvolio answered back.

Lord Capulet scowled. He would have to dig his heels in tight here!


	35. Economics

Magenta - Yeah, it is! I don't know if you've ever played Sims 2, and been in Veronaville? That might explain it a little...

Dagger - I'm so glad you like it! It makes me so happy when people say it's a good story :)

So, Tybalt and Rosaline are now causing trouble for the Montagues!

* * *

For Tybalt, the situation at the Montagues improved dramatically. The next morning, he and Rosaline refused to get up until nine 'o' clock and then they both wandered into school late. Lady Montague had been horrified at their actions, and they both laughed about it as they walked down the corridors to their classes.

"Nice night, was it, Tybalt?" jeered Petruchio, as he headed out a classroom and down the corridors to the toilets.

"Just right, thanks very much!" Tybalt yelled back.

They also spent their time spreading the word about their party to their classmates. They were going to keep Juliet in the dark about this arrangement, and told guests not to tell her or mention it to her.

The rest of the week was spend with Tybalt being rude to, and swearing at, the Montagues and making Rosaline laugh and Juliet feel embarrassed.

On Thursday night, Rosaline took a break from hers and Tybalt's campaign to sit down and revise for an Economics exam coming up around the corner. One day, she hoped to be wealthy, with thousands of little minions running around doing as she said. Tybalt was in the bath. Rosaline had told him he needed one and he'd gone without much further ado. Juliet and Lady Montague just looked mystified at her power over him. Lord Montague shook his head.

Like Benvolio had done on Sunday night, Rosaline pulled out her files on the dining room table, and began to work. And like Lord Capulet had done on Sunday night, Lord Montague walked up and peered over her shoulder.

"What are you doing, young lady?"

Rosaline turned and looked up at him "My Economics homework. Why – don't you understand it?"

"No. I just wondered why a chav like you would want to do homework"

"Number one" began Rosaline "I am not a chav. I am the girlfriend of a chav. And two, don't ever call me and Tibby chavs again. Even if he is a chav, that doesn't give you the right to call him that"

"Suit yourself" said Lord Montague. Rosaline waited for him to go. She didn't want anything to do with the father of an old love conquest.

But he didn't. He settled down in the opposite chair, and picked up one of her files "Hmm...we didn't do this when I was your age. Oh. You got an A* on this. What made you want to do Economics?"

"Because I like money. I want to be rich. I grew up on a dingy old estate after my dad packed up and left us. I knew Tybalt through family, but at night when my group went out and when his group went out we'd run into each other a lot. He hung out with the sort of people who lived near me. We've got a lot in common. In fact...if I remember rightly, we got engaged when we were six"

"Cute" scoffed Lord Montague.

Rosaline glared at him.

"Are you going to leave?" she asked rudely "I can't concentrate when there's someone breathing down my neck. It's hard enough telling Tybalt to get lost so I can work"

"Why do you hang out with a loser like him if he stops you from working?"

"He's not a loser" snapped Rosaline.

"Haven't you seen him? There is absolutely no hope for that boy"

"I'm Tibby's hope!" snarled Rosaline, snatching back her papers "Nobody understands him, apart from me. We look after each other"

Lord Montague shook his head "How ridiculous. You could have a bright future ahead of you, and you're just going to waste it with a good for nothing boy like him"


	36. Cool Capulets

A - Funny you should say Lord Capulet needs to have some fun, because in this chapter, he does!

Magenta - The Sims 2 Veronaville actually got me into Shakespeare! So as I say to my mum, you can't say that computer games haven't been educational.

Porphyritic - It's party time!

So, after a week of planning, both sets of teenagers are ready to have their parties. First up we have the Montague boys and Hermia with their party. Tybalt and Rosaline's party will be in the next chapter, which will hopefully be up to tomorrow, but I'm not sure as my brother is having an operation today.

* * *

"Ok..." said Hermia, on Friday night "You guys have to hide out here, and then Mercutio is going to play the music. When the music plays, Romeo will throw open the door, you run in quickly, and I'll be upstairs, distracting Eugene. You lot just have to be really, really quiet until then"

"Yes, Hermia!" said Lysander. He turned around "Lips sealed everyone!"

Hermia giggled "See you in a bit!"

She dashed inside and ran up to Lord Capulet's study. He was hard at work, facing away from the door and the window. Perfect. There didn't seem to be any reason to disrupt him yet. It was only when the music began she had to keep him upstairs long enough for the guests to get in.

All week they had been preparing this. Hermia broke into Eugene's study with Mercutio and stole back the Lady Gaga CD. They were going to take the CD Player as well, but then Lord Capulet would have noticed. Never mind. Hermia had a much louder one in her room. Mercutio and Romeo were currently carrying it down the stairs. Benvolio was on the lookout for Lady Capulet and was to distract her, as Hermia was with Lord Capulet. When it was all set up, Romeo would open the door to the guests. Even if Lady Capulet caught them, she wouldn't dare to do anything. Mercutio had told Hermia what he had 'accidently' got her to confess about Lord Capulet. Hermia hadn't been surprised.

During the week, they'd nipped over to Tesco's after school to meet Valentine who bought them the booze. Valentine had a fake ID that his friend Proteus had given him so he was able to buy it himself. Mercutio had simply reminded him of what an amazing little brother he was and wasn't he just the best thing that ever happened to him and the family...? And Valentine had complied.

And whilst in Tesco's, they'd bought some snacks, such as crisps, biscuits, and other non-alcoholic beverages. They'd hidden all the food in Juliet's room, as no one was going inside it. Mercutio and Romeo were also carrying that down. While they were out, Mercutio had even bought another Lady Gaga CD, Born This Way, in order to have more songs to annoy Eugene with. Once or twice they reckoned they'd seen Tybalt in the store at the same time, but Mercutio agreed that his face was so ugly that it was imprinted in their minds forever and they'd see it whether they went. Hermia had to agree, of course. Tybalt was the cousin from hell.

Benvolio hurried along the corridor to her "Mercutio just texted me. He and Romeo are ready" he peered through the door "Can he hear us?"

"No!" Hermia whispered back "Go down there, and tell Mercutio to do it!"

Benvolio gave a squeal of excitement, and dashed off. Hermia smirked. There were a few minutes of silence, and then, suddenly...

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU LOVE HIM, OR CAPITAL H I M. JUST PUT YOUR PAWS UP, CAUSE YOU WERE BORN THIS WAY BABY!"

Lord Capulet jumped in his seat, swivelled around "What the..."

Downstairs, Romeo slammed open the front door "Party time! Come in!"

Hermia dashed downstairs as the guests roamed in cheering. Lord Capulet ran after her, to discover the source of commotion.

"Welcome to the party!" shouted Mercutio "Want to dance!"

"No I do not!" roared Lord Capulet "What on earth is this!"

"It's our one week anniversary!" laughed Mercutio "A party to celebrate our survival, after living one week, with you! Get your groove on, and dance!"

Lord Capulet boiled red with rage "TURN THAT HORRIBLE RACKET OFF, RIGHT NOW!"

"What horrible racket?" asked Benvolio "It's silent!"

Romeo and Mercutio chuckled, remembering the last time they blasted Lady Gaga at Lord Capulet.

He rounded on Hermia "You..."

But Romeo dashed in to save the situation "Cool it, Eugene! We went to all this expense, to have a party for you, none the less, to show our gratitude to your kindness in taking us in. After Lady Gaga, you can play whatever music you like. You can even play some old eighties music!"

"You...you threw a party for me?" asked Lord Capulet, bemused.

"Yes!" said Mercutio, Benvolio and Hermia.

"Oh"

"Egues! Egues! What's going on?" gasped Lady Capulet, running into the room.

Romeo pressed a glass of punch into Lord Capulet's hand "Drink up! Cheers!"

Lord Capulet took a sip. Suddenly, he felt free, light-headed, and cheerful "Cool it, wifey!"

"Egues?" said Lady Capulet shocked.

"Chill! Just dance to the music!"

Hermia was killing herself with laughing. Mercutio snorted "Now come on, let's really get this party started! Benvolio, go and fetch a bottle and find a suitable cupboard. We're going to play 'Spin The Bottle' and then we're playing 'Seven Minutes in Heaven' Who's going to be my partner? Romeo? Benvolio? Come here!"


	37. Not So Cool Montagues

Magenta - Hahaha, that's the kind of effect I was going for!

Porphyritic - Indeed, he did. I always think of him as such a crabby old man.

A - Tybalt may be a good cousin to Juliet, but who knows...? And anyway, the first part of this chapter is dedicated to you, as it contains some very romantic Tybalt and Rosaline moments that I thought you might enjoy!

So, the party at the Capulets has began and Lord Capulet has got 'groovy'. Now the party at the Montagues is kicking off. However, somehow I don't think Lord and Lady Montague are going to be quite so 'rocking' and 'awesome' about it. Also, I introduce you to Gabriel, Rosaline's half-brother!

* * *

Tybalt watched Rosaline zip up her tiny little party dress. She reached the last few centimetres, when he got up and helped her.

"Thanks Tibby"

He kissed the place where he zipped it up "You're beautiful"

"And you look handsome"

"Not as beautiful as you though" He snaked his arms around her waist and cuddled her from behind, then Rosaline pushed him off.

"They'll be here soon. We've got the booze, right?"

"I hid it behind the all pot plants and under the tables, you know, places where we can get it easily" said Tybalt "Do you know who'll be here first?"

"My half-brother, Gabriel, will be" replied Rosaline "And my sister Livia said she'd be with him. It's nice they're getting to know each other a bit better. My family is so messed up"

"Don't worry about it. You'll always have me" He reached over, and caressed her cheek.

"Always" repeated Rosaline, placing her hand over his on her cheek.

"We're a team" Tybalt continued "We'll always take care of each other"

Downstairs, the doorbell rung. They both grinned at each other.

"Come on!"

They ran down the stairs to see Lady Montague at the door, and Rosaline's brother standing there.

"Rosaline needed us to bring her some coursework" explained Gabriel.

"At eight 'o' clock at night?"

"Don't worry, I've got this" said Tybalt. He barged between Lady Montague and the door "Gabriel, bruv! Respect! Get in here! Alright, Livia?"

Gabriel and Livia stepped inside.

"What's going on?" demanded Lady Montague. Juliet and Lord Montague arrived in the hallway.

"Oh, did we forget to tell you something?" asked Rosaline.

"What?" demanded Lord Montague.

"Did we miss a little detail?" asked Tybalt, watching as more people walked up the path.

"What's going on?"

"Didn't we tell you...at all?" asked Rosaline.

Sam, Greg and Petruchio barged in "It's party time! Get the music on!"

"Yeah!" Tybalt instructed "Take that, Montagues! Here's for pissing me off all week!"

"Tybalt, that's not fair!" Juliet cried indignantly.

"What's the matter? We invited a few friends for you. Well. One. Paris!" called Rosaline.

"Paris?" questioned Juliet. In through the door walked her least favourite person on the planet. A boy with dyed black hair, pasty grey skin and hollow pinched cheeks walked in. He was dressed in all black, and looked like the Grim Reaper.

"Yeah, Paris. Your best friend, I believe" sang Rosaline sweetly "Now, go and hang out together. Me and Tibby want to greet the rest of our friends"

"No!" snapped Lord Montague "There will not be any parties in this house, tonight!"

"Shut it" snarled Tybalt, as the music started up. It was horrible, grimy, dubstep club music, the type that throbbed right through you and didn't have many intelligent lyrics. Several guests pulled the alcohol out from their hiding places, and Lady Montague gasped.

"Alright, sexy! You're a total MILF!" cheered some of Tybalt's chavvy friends at her. Tybalt simply laughed at them all.

"Now, let's party!" declared Rosaline "Somebody get me a drink!"

The Montagues and Juliet were powerless as Tybalt's friends took over their house. Tybalt was the centre of attention, mouthing off about how he smashed up a tree, how he ran off last Saturday night, and about some of things he'd called Lady Montague.

"No!" shouted Lady Montague at some boys chucking one of her ornaments back and forth "You do not throw delicate china ornaments! Put that down at once!"

"Put it down!" thundered Lord Montague. The boys put it down and wandered off to get drunk.

"Phone the police" instructed Lady Montague, turning to Lord Montague.

"But they'll charge us for this" said Lord Montague "This is our property, therefore we're the ones liable"

"Do I care?" cried Lady Montague, flapping her hands about in the air wildly "Just get them out of our house!"

"Calm down, dear" said Lord Montague, taking her hands and holding them tightly to calm her "I'll get rid of them in a minute. I'll turn off the music and then threaten them with the police. That usually works when something like this is going on"

"No, it doesn't! How do you know that? Our Romeo has never done anything like this!"

"I know, I know. Romeo's a responsible boy who we brought up properly. Tybalt, however, has just been left to his own devices and is about as civilised as an animal. But we can sort this out on our own. For now. Just start picking up all the alcohol and throwing it away. I'll come with you"

They left Juliet alone in the front hall with Paris.

"So...you want to dance while we've got the chance?" he asked.

"No" said Juliet, running out.


	38. Social Time

Jocasta Silver - Yeah! Juliet is going to reject him some more in the next chapter.

A - Tybalt is indeed going to be in a lot of trouble. And I'm so pleased you love my story. I love your reviews!

Magenta - Yes, that's exactly who I think of when I write Tybalt and Rosaline! I listen to that Beyonce and Jay-Z song Bonnie and Clyde and that's when I think of Tybalt and Rosaline. I'm also glad you've picked up on the fact that the kids aren't what they think. That was exactly what I was heading for.

This might be the last update for a while, as I'm going to stay at my Aunty's for a week. It will give me some time to start writing the ending. I might be able to update tomorrow morning before I go, and if I take my memory stick I can update once or twice while I'm there. If not, enjoy this chapter, have fun laughing at Lord Capulet trying to be cool, feel sorry for Tybalt at the end, etc. Plus, guess what eighties song Lord Capulet sings along to when he dances with Hermia. Here's a clue - she's my favourite singer!

* * *

"Chug, chug, chug!" chanted Mercutio as Romeo and Lord Capulet downed a glass each.

"Lord C is the winner!" declared Benvolio.

"I was being kind!" announced Romeo.

"I know how to party. I did this all back in the eighties. Back in the day! I was rocking, I was cool..."

Mercutio giggled as Lord Capulet blathered on. Who knew that inside the stern, grumpy old lord lurked a party animal? Lord Capulet had taken off his tie and wrapped it around his head, tying it at the side. He'd untucked his shirt and undone a few of the buttons, and was now twirling around to 'Not Myself Tonight' It suited the occasion.

"Hey, Mercutio!" shouted a voice. Mercutio turned. It was his friend, Charles. Poor Charles lived in the same street as Tybalt and had to deal with the sounds of him staggering home drunk at night and Regina's ten cats leaving dead animals all over his garden. It wasn't pretty.

"Hey!" greeted Mercutio "I haven't seen you in ages!"

"I know! I heard about the experiment through someone in your art class"

"It's been a rollercoaster" shrugged Mercutio.

"I bet! I heard you've been tormenting Lord Capulet!"

"His sister, Tybalt's mum, has been tormenting us" corrected Mercutio "We had to eat 'Sausage Surprise!' and go to her house"

"Oh, god, that stuff is terrible!" groaned Charles, covering his mouth.

"It tasted like cat food!" Mercutio shouted over the music as Benvolio turned it up.

"Smells like it too! We can smell it over at our house"

"Urgh!"

"Yeah...you want to dance?"

"Of course! I love this song"

Hermia couldn't stop laughing at Lord Capulet. If she knew that this was what partying did him, why, she should have done it ages ago!

"Hermia!" he slurred "Hermia, my precious baby girl. You come and dance with your old dad"

It wasn't often she heard such terms of endearment, so Hermia joined him as an old eighties hit song played.

"This is music!" cried Lord Capulet "Holiday! Celebrate! Holiday! Celebrate!" he sang along loudly. Hermia caught sight of Lysander laughing, and Mercutio dancing with Charles, and Benvolio talking to Portia and waved in no particular direction.

Lady Capulet was nowhere to be found. Hermia didn't care. That silly mouse only annoyed her. Too many times had Lord Capulet been angry at her for overpowering her step-mother.

Romeo danced alone, occasionally saying hello to people he knew. He'd chatted to Adam and Balthasar, and then went over to talk to Lucio. He and Hamlet had a good long moan about the things that were making them miserable, and then he went off to go and get more drinks as they were starting to run out. It was times like these he missed Juliet, and wished he could be open about his relationship with her in order to spend time with her. Benvolio, Mercutio and Hermia all seemed to be enjoying themselves. Lysander was sitting, quietly drinking a glass of punch, watching Hermia dance. Romeo went to go and sit down next to him.

"Hiya" said Romeo.

"Hey! How's it going?" asked Lysander.

"Good" replied Romeo "Are you not going to dance with Hermia?"

"No, I thought I ought to let her and Lord Capulet have some time together. They don't get on very often. And I don't think he likes me very much"

"Join the club" said Romeo "Tonight will end, and I'll still be Lord Montague's son. In a way, even though I helped Mercutio wind him up all week...I wish he'd been open to accepting me a bit more"

"Listen here, Romeo. It doesn't matter who you are. Lord Capulet will never accept any of his daughter's boyfriends"

"Wait...you know about...?"

"Everyone knows!" Lysander answered "You aren't the most subtle person on the planet. I've seen you look at her like...well, like she's the most beautiful, wonderful person to exist. You can't hide it for much longer, Romeo. You'll either have to face the music, like I am, or break things off, like Tybalt did"

"Tybalt did what?"

"Don't you know?" asked Lysander.

"No!"

"Where have you been for the past four years? I thought you were meant to be the Montague who laughed at Tybalt for all the things that have happened to him"

"Well, four years ago, me, Mercutio and Benvolio were still petrified of him. It was only three years ago we realised how fun it was to insult him and wind him and not get hurt" retorted Romeo.

"Never mind" said Lysander, shaking his head "Well, four years ago, when Tybalt was fourteen, he met this girl. He didn't know her name or anything, but they fell in love right away. He didn't find out until the next day that she was in this rival gang. He roams around the Burry Estate, you know, where Rosaline lives"

"Yeah, I know, I've been there. It's a hell hole"

"Well, anyway, he was young, he wasn't all that familiar with who he could, and couldn't date. So when they found who they were, they started seeing each other in secret, until one of her older brothers found out. He and another one of her older brothers went and beat Tybalt up, and so he ended it, and never looked back. He's the sort of person who'd give in to something like that to save his reputation or to fit in with his gang. You'll have to make a choice with Juliet about what to do next, Romeo, or Tybalt might end up being the one venting his hatred on you"

"God..." muttered Romeo.

"It doesn't stop there! After Tybalt's mum found out about what happened to him, she had a mental breakdown. She always was a manic depressive, but this just proved the last straw, and she went spiralling downwards. Tybalt had to get her sectioned and everything"

"I never though I'd say this but...poor Tybalt"

"Oh, he'll live" said Lysander "He always pulls through. He's happy with Rosaline, last I heard"

"But what about the girl?" asked Romeo.

"The girl? Oh, she moved away ages ago. Tybalt always says he doesn't care. He probably wouldn't want it anymore. He loves Rosaline too much. It wouldn't have lasted long anyway. They were young, they'd have got sick of each other after a while. Besides, don't you want to dance? Enjoy yourself before Lord Capulet changes back into Grumpy Eugene?"

"Yeah" said Romeo "Forget Tybalt. He's too mean to feel sorry for"


	39. Someone Always Gets Hurt

A - Lord Capulet's going to have the hangover from hell! I love writing when there's a lot going on - I seem to write faster anyhow.

Magenta - Yay, you were right! Thanks for the recommendation, I will look it up! I don't mind if people recommend me stuff that relates to the story somehow (A recommended me Charlie the Unicorn and it reminded me of Tybalt although another reviewer didn't seem to think so) Yeah, Tybalt's had to grow up with a lot going on, and he doesn't see any harm in cutting loose now and then.

As you can see, I have managed to sneak an update in before I go to my Aunty's! And in this chapter, Tybalt's party causes chaos and someone is hurt. Who will it be? Also, tell me what you think of Rosaline's half-brother, Gabriel, who is also an upcoming character in my other story.

* * *

Grimy, loud dubstep dance music boomed out the stereo. Tybalt and Rosaline rocked together in the crowd of bodies. Everyone had crammed into the room nearest the music to dance. Heat radiated from everyone. Rosaline's face was flushed, and Tybalt was grinning. The guests moved together in one single motion, swaying away anyone who tried to break between. The beat pulsed throughout the crowd. Tybalt could feel it vibrating through him, and he could see some of the photo frames shaking.

"I knew we'd show them" breathed Rosaline, sweat glistening on her forehead from dancing too hard.

"And we have. They haven't done anything yet"

"Pathetic" chortled Rosaline.

Outside, Juliet hurried around with Lord and Lady Montague. No matter how many booze cans they confiscated, people just seemed to grab more. For now, Juliet rested again a wall. She was hot, from the effort of running around trying to control the crowd. She was angry at Tybalt. Very angry, in fact. It was very unfair of him to do this.

"Hello, gorgeous" smirked a voice. Juliet turned to see Paris, of all people, standing in front of her.

"What do you want?" asked Juliet, taking a step backwards away from him.

"To see if you wanted to dance"

"I'll give it a pass" sniffed Juliet.

"But why not? Won't you ever just give me a chance?"

"No" said Juliet firmly.

"But why?" pressed Paris.

"There's someone else" Juliet confessed, feeling her secret welling up inside her.

"Who?" demanded Paris.

"None of your business" Juliet snapped "Do us a favour, Paris, and go home. It's not like I wanted you here"

"Tybalt invited me, actually"

"Then go and hit on Tybalt instead of me" Juliet instructed "You're an ugly creep, Paris"

And she turned and ran off to help Paulina and Claudio. Paris looked at her retreating figure shocked, and then soon some more of the party goers came out jeering and shouting into the courtyard near the pool.

"Jump in it, Tybalt!" one of them shouted, over the endless throbbing of the music.

"Go on, do it! It will be well funny!" yelled another.

Tybalt cracked up, laughing "Shall I piss in it?"

"Urgh, no, jump!"

"Go on! Are you are a chicken? Go and do it!" instructed Petruchio.

"Tybalt the chicken! He can't even jump in a pool!"

"Shut up, mate! Alright, fifty quid says I'll do it! But first I have to finish this drink" Tybalt took a long gulp of his can of beer, and the group cheered him.

"Jump! Jump! Jump!" chanted the group. Lord and Lady Montague came out to see what the fuss was with Juliet hot on their heels.

"No, Tybalt! That's not funny!" shouted Lord Montague.

"Shut up, you old fart!" Tybalt yelled back "I'm going to do it! Watch me!"

"TYBALT! TYBALT! TYBALT!" the guests chanted.

"Get your cameras at the ready!" instructed Tybalt. He began to run towards the pool, gathering momentum. At the edge he sprang off the side and flew into the air. He tucked himself into a ball, and then smacked onto the surface. A small tsunami rippled out and over the edge of the pool, and then Tybalt surfaced, shaking water out of his ginger hair.

"I did it! I did it!" yelled Tybalt, splashing about. His friends cheered.

"Whey! Tybalt!"

"Get out of there!" roared Lord Montague, running to the edge.

"Why should I do what you say?" argued back Tybalt, as he trod water to stay afloat.

"It's not funny!" shouted Lord Montague.

"You're stupid, Tybalt!" Juliet shrieked "You look like such a retard! You're not even funny. You aren't cool, or clever, and you didn't impress anyone!"

"Whatever" snapped Tybalt. Drunkenly, he began to swim towards the edge, without a clear sense of direction. Rosaline's brother Gabriel was laughing so hard he was having a hard job of standing upright.

"Splish splash!" chortled Tybalt, smacking at the water so a wave went flooding over the Montagues. Paulina shrieked and Juliet started up another stream of insults at Tybalt.

"I'm jumping in it too!" announced Gabriel, leaping from the side into the water beside Tybalt. He bobbed to the surface, his blond hair plastered to his head so he looked like a seal.

"Get out of there as well, you!" snarled Lord Montague "I've heard all about you from my nephew and what a nasty piece of work you are!"

"Oh, has poor socially retarded Benvolio been telling you all about Rosaline's bad scary half-brother?" mocked Gabriel "Like I care! It's not my fault his mum died and that he wets the bed and he's such an emotionally scarred little..."

"Both of you. Get out" hissed Lord Montague.

"All right, fine, I'm going. It's rubbish here, anyway" said Gabriel "Come on Juno, we're leaving. I heard that Hermia's having a party over at the Manor as well"

"Hermia's having a party?" asked Rosaline.

"Yeah, her, Camel-Face, Socially Retarded Bed Wetter, and Mercutio hosted one to annoy Lord Capulet"

"Camel-Face!" snorted Tybalt "I love this kid"

"Get OUT!" Lord Montague shouted "Or I will call the police and I will call Escalus!"

"As if I'm scared of Escalus" Gabriel snorted "Angelo and Lord Capulet will just buy him off! All we'll get is a slap on the wrist and a 'don't do it again!'"

"Get out!"

Both boys in the pool began to swim to the edge. But being drunk, they struggled to keep a good sense of direction or climb up the ladder properly. Tybalt got out first to the cheering of his friends, and he punched the air, soaking wet. Gabriel tottered out of the pool, and headed over to his friend Juno. Livia was giggling furiously.

"You two" sighed Rosaline "Tibby, I got you a towel"

"And where's mine?" asked Gabriel.

"Oh, I forgot" said Rosaline.

He turned and ran towards her, trying to beat Tybalt to it "That's not fair – I'm family! Give us that...AAAARGH!"

Gabriel skittered along the wet surface, and slipped up backwards. The guests watched in horror as he hit the floor with a thud, and smacked his head on the rebound of the fall with a sickening crack.


	40. Last Friday Night

Well! I managed to sneak an update in! Thank you A and Emma, I'm so pleased you enjoyed my story. I have thought of a great ending for my other story, so that should be on it's way soon. I have thought of an ending for this one, so time to get writing.

After Tybalt and Rosaline's disastrous party last night, Escalus decides to check on Lord Capulet and the Montague boys. And what does he find?

* * *

The door of the Capulet's Manor was knocking. Nobody answered. They were all strewn around the front room, sleeping. Lord Capulet was collapsed on the sofa, his mouth hanging open. Romeo was leaning with his head on the coffee table, snoring loudly. Mercutio was flat out on the floor, his arms and legs spread apart. Hermia and Benvolio were nowhere to be seen.

"I wonder what they could be doing" murmured Escalus to himself. He had come to check up on the Capulets after all the drama at the Montagues last night.

He knocked harder "Hello!" he shouted through the door "It's Escalus! Open up!"

Lord Capulet stirred, but the knocking didn't affect him. He groaned. His head was killing him.

"Lord Capulet! Are you in there!" shouted Escalus. Lord Capulet jolted up, wide awake. He turned to look at his front door, which was knocking fit to burst. He stumbled off the sofa, nearly tripped over Romeo as he did so and accidently kicked Mercutio on the way to the door, before he finally yanked it open.

"Escalus" said Lord Capulet "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I came to see how everything was going" replied Escalus. He looked at the crumpled tie around Lord Capulet's head, his untucked shirt, and disarrayed clothes. Then he peered around him and saw Mercutio sleeping on the floor, several cups strewn around the place, and a couple of upturned bowls of crisps. The stereo was blinking blue light around the room as it had reached the last song. A disco ball spun tiredly around in a circle, the lights still dancing on the walls, but with much less effect in the daylight. There was no denying the house was a mess.

"Have you...had a party?" asked Escalus.

"Yes" replied Lord Capulet, rubbing his head and groaning.

Escalus looked bemused "That's strange, as I was called over to the Montague's. Your nephew Tybalt hosted a party last night as well"

"Did he?" said Lord Capulet, still rubbing his forehead, wishing Escalus would just get lost so he could take some headache tablets and go back to sleep.

"Yes. And then he jumped in the Montague's swimming pool, fully clothed"

Lord Capulet snorted.

"No, Egues, this is not funny! A boy was injured!"

"Oh, who?" asked Lord Capulet, assuming it was just one of Tybalt's hooligan friends.

"Not just any boy. It was Angelo's son, Gabriel! He jumped in the pool after Tybalt did. Then when he got out, he slipped and hit his head. He's unconscious, and in hospital right now!"

"Well, Tybalt didn't push him, did he? It's not my business. And is Juliet all right? Did she play a part in this?"

"Juliet is fine, although she only told my nephew Paris to get lost and that he was an ugly creep and that he ought to hit on Tybalt instead of her. Besides that, anyway. I ought to fill you in about what happened next"

"Oh. What did happen next?" asked Lord Capulet. He glanced around "I would invite you to sit down, but, er, Romeo's in the way of the sofa, and it's got crumbs and spilled drinks all over it"

"Never mind. After Gabriel slipped, Tybalt used a towel to stem the bleeding and instructed Lord Montague to phone an ambulance, which he did. I arrived shortly afterwards, and with the help of the police force, removed the party guests from the house. Rosaline and Lord Montague went with Gabriel to the hospital, where they were met by Angelo. Tybalt and Juliet are still at the Montague Ranch with Lady Montague. Rosaline is still with Gabriel and Angelo, and I don't believe that she will be returning to the experiment. Because of this, I want your opinion on how successful the experiment has been so far in your household. Besides the 'Sausage Surprise' business last week, and the phone calls on Monday, nothing has gone wrong, am I right in thinking?"

"Well..." said Lord Capulet. This was it. This was his chance to get rid of the three holy terrors!

"Everything's been fine" he finished.

Escalus' eyebrows raised "Really?"

"Yes" said Lord Capulet.

"Even though you rang me Monday?"

"I dealt with it" replied Lord Capulet "These kids...well. They reminded me of how it feels to be young again"

A smile twitched at the corner of Mercutio's mouth from where he was still 'asleep'

"That's good then" said Escalus. He bent down to Mercutio "I'm just going to have a word with Mercutio. Perhaps you could go and start clearing up. Or maybe take some hangover tablets"

After Lord Capulet left, Escalus gently shook his nephew. Mercutio sleepily opened one eye "Yes?"

"What's all this I hear about a party?"

Mercutio opened the other eye and started to giggle "We had a party to wind up Eugene, but we got him drunk and he started dancing, and I filmed it, and put it on Youtube before I fell asleep!"

"You're a silly boy, Mercutio" scolded Escalus.

"It's called having fun" chided Mercutio, in an irritating voice.

"Never mind. How have you been this week?"

"Fine"

"No problems at all?"

"No. None" replied Mercutio.

"Well, good! Are you up for the next week?"

"Hell yes!" declared Mercutio, a little loudly. Romeo stirred, and moved his face. The imprint of the pattern on the edge of the coffee table was etched on his cheek in pink.

"Looks like you two are up now" said Escalus with a smile "Where are Hermia and Benvolio?"

"Hermia and Benvolio? Well, last I saw Benvolio, he was jumping on the sofa with Eugene, and then I last saw Hermia running up the stairs after someone"

"Ok" said Escalus "I'll leave you lot to clean up, and sleep off your hangovers. You don't want to make a habit of getting drunk like this, Mercutio. Look at your dad"

"I know. Bye, Uncle Escalus" said Mercutio.

"Bye, Mercutio. I'll see you in a week. Your mum misses you"


	41. Cleaning Up

A - Don't worry, I still have loads of chapters to write before I even get to the ending! I hope you like what I'm going to do with Tybalt. How evil shall I be to him first? On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being that his cat dies, 5 being that Rosaline leaves him, and 10 being that Hermia and the Montagues get together and kill him? And how evil shall I be to the Montagues?

So, after Lord Capulet's slightly more liberal view of the Montagues boys, we skip over to the aftermath of Tybalt's party. And remember when we found out that Tybalt used to do drugs? Here we find out what he has to say for himself on the matter!

* * *

"You missed a bit" snapped Lady Montague, pointing at an empty cup. Tybalt scowled, and hurried to pick it up and chuck it in a black plastic bin bag. Juliet watched nervously.

It felt like they had all gone back to square one with this. Lady Montague was snappy, irritable, and they weren't chatting as much as before Tybalt had hosted his party. None of them had had much sleep after what happened to Gabriel. Lady Montague had spent the rest of the night dispersing the party goers with the police and Escalus, and Juliet had done her best to start tidying up, but she was exhausted. Her eyelids were aching, and longed to close. Her limbs were weak, and it was all she could do not to collapse.

"How does your mother put up with this?" scolded Lady Montague.

"She doesn't. My house is too small for parties" Tybalt snapped back "Besides, my mum's not an ugly Montague slag. Therefore she gets half decent treatment from me"

"If I were her, I'd be very ashamed of you" Lady Montague continued "Gabriel could have died"

"Not that you'd have cared. Especially not after what he said about Benvolio"

"Why do you do this to yourself? Why do you waste your life away, throwing dangerous parties, getting drunk and being so aggressive?"

"Because I want to" snapped Tybalt.

"There is no breaking through to you, is there?" asked Lady Montague "I think you ought to be ashamed of yourself. What would your mother think?"

"She wouldn't care. It's your house that's been trashed!" shot back Tybalt.

"Even so, I have heard all about what you get up to. I heard that you used to do drugs"

"What?" breathed Tybalt disgustedly, turning around to face her "I don't do drugs! Who said that?"

"Your own cousin, in fact. See, this is what your behaviour does to others around you!" Lady Montague continued, pointing at Juliet.

Tybalt turned to Juliet, with a face full of thunder "You little brat. You liar! That was mum's medication!"

"So why did the police raid your house?" challenged Juliet.

"Because the head teacher of school rang them after they found me with mum's medication!" Tybalt shouted "I am not a druggie! You can call me what you want – chav, thug, waster, but I have never, and will never, take drugs! Shame on you, Juliet for lying!"

"I don't lie! Hermia said-"

"So Hermia lied then!" snapped Tybalt "You lot, you're all out to get me! For God's sake, what have I ever done to you?"

"You're an embarrassment!" fired Juliet "You've just embarrassed me, yourself, our family, all week long! You've fought with Mercutio, been a homophobe, texted rude messages, in a church, sworn at, been rude to Paulina and Claudio, and then, you've thrown a party, in which someone was injured. If I was Aunty Regina I wouldn't let you back home!"

Tybalt slammed down the rubbish bag "I have had enough of this. I'm going to my room"

"Get back here!" shouted Lady Montague.

"**** off!" yelled Tybalt, ignoring her command.

He stormed away, leaving Paulina and Juliet.

"What on earth has gone on, in his life? Why is he like this?" asked Paulina.

"You should ask him. He'll just say I'm conspiring against him" said Juliet, picking up some more of the rubbish.

"You know what? I think I will"


	42. The Hangover

Magenta - No worries for not reviewing, it was a pleasant surprise to find three from you today! That's exactly what I was aiming for with Tybalt and Juliet. His hatred and her acceptance of the Montagues is driving them apart. We'll soon see what they do about it. And that does sound like a good idea for Tybalt, it would shock him. I'm also pleased you think I've got the right amount of drama. Go Juliet indeed! And what do you think of Gabriel himself?

A - Of course I won't kill Tybalt, that was a joke! Keep enjoying all the chapters!

Now that the Montagues have started clearing up, what will the boys do the same? Also, tell me what you think of the pairing I made in this chapter. And what do you guys think the outcome will be?

* * *

After Escalus left, Lord Capulet crawled up to his room and fell in his bed to sleep off his hangover. Mercutio watched him go, and then he shook Romeo awake, and told him everything that they'd said.

"I wonder if he likes us now" said Romeo, rubbing his pink side of the coffee table imprinted cheek.

"Probably not. Speaking of which, should we find Hermia and Benvolio? They're not in the living room anywhere"

"Good idea" said Romeo, getting up slowly, but steadily "Let's go upstairs, they might have gone to sleep in their actual beds"

"Unlike us" snorted Mercutio.

"You were hilarious last night! That karaoke version of 'Friday' I will never forget! And that game of truth or dare, where you dared Eugene to put his false teeth in upside down was so funny, and then you dared Proteus to take off all his clothes apart from his underwear and run around the garden, and the best bit was when Hermia asked for Truth, and then you got her to admit she had ginger pubic hair, oh my God, that was so hilarious!"

"I know. I throw the best parties, don't I? Remember last year, when Paris said he didn't want a party for his birthday, but I threw one anyway, and invited all those dodgy guys, and they totally trashed his room? And poor Paris ended up hiding in the toilets, absolutely terrorized!"

"I remember it well" said Romeo, as they quietly climbed up the stairs, not wanting to disturb Eugene.

"I wonder where Lady Capulet is?" said Mercutio "She disappeared after Lord Capulet told her to chill"

"I know. Who cares? Hermia hates her, anyway"

"Yeah, she always favoured Juliet because Hermia always reminds her of all the affairs that Lord Capulet's had" Mercutio whispered to Romeo "By the way, did you put something in Lord Capulet's drink?"

"No! Well, maybe a bit of vodka, but that's not a crime"

"I guess not. Oh look, Hermia's bedroom door is open a bit. Let's be quiet, she might asleep"

"Or we could just jump on her and wake her up" suggested Romeo. Mercutio pushed open the door gently and poked his head around the door. Sure, Hermia was there. She was still wearing her clothes, and had her lipstick smeared around her mouth. It was who was next to her that the other two boys in shock.

"Benvolio?" whispered Mercutio.

"Oh my goodness!" gasped Romeo.

"She's cheated on Lysander with our Bennykins! Oh dear!" giggled Mercutio.

"But he's a Montague!"

Mercutio turned around and looked at him "You can talk!"

"I know but...we're in love"

"Maybe Hermy-wa and Bennykins have fallen in love" said Mercutio "Aw. Let's leave them to wake up in each other's arms"

"What if they've had...they're underage!"

"They're wearing clothes, Romeo. They probably just made out all night" Mercutio backed out and shut the door quietly.

"What about Lysander?" asked Romeo, thinking about how they'd spoken the previous night.

"I guess it'll be up to Hermia to decide what to do next" said Mercutio "Come on, let's go to bed. My head is panging and I might be sick later"

"Not this again!" grumbled Romeo.


	43. Truce

Jenni - 'death is a wonderful thing' I do hope you aren't a pyschopath (I'm joking, of course!)

japaneserockergirl - That's ok, I've been busy too! I hope you're still enjoying the story. As for Hermia and Benvolio, wait and see...

Magenta - Oh yes, Gabriel also has his 'issues' I invented a long and lengthy backstory for him, Rosaline and their family. In my other story, I introduced Gabriel there as well.

Porphyritic -Don't worry, I'm not bumping anyone off!

A - Thanks, as always! I'm glad everyone seems to like Hermia and Benvolio.

I'm home now, so updates are going to be regular again! Yay! But today, we find out some more of Tybalt's issues, and he manages to redeem himself about the drugs thing.

* * *

Lady Montague rapped on Tybalt's door "Can I come in?"

"Go away"

"I've brought you a cup of tea"

"I'm not thirsty"

Tybalt's voice was thick, and husky. Lady Montague pushed open the door, and peeped in. He was sitting on the bed with his back to her. She stepped in the room, and put the tea down on the bedside table. Tybalt didn't even look around at her.

Hesitantly, she reached out and touched his shoulder. Tybalt flinched and spun around.

"What do you want from me? What could you possibly want?"

"Nothing" Lady Montague patted him gentlym but very cautiously "Although, I just would like to know why you act like this. What on earth has happened to you in your life?"

"Absolute shit" replied Tybalt.

"Would you like to tell me?"

"No" snapped Tybalt.

"Well, then, that's fair enough"

"I'm angry!" Tybalt began "I'm angry at Juliet for lying. I don't do drugs. When the police raided my house, it was because my mum was having a mental breakdown. She couldn't even leave the house, so I was getting her medication for her. One day, Boots was shut in the morning before school, when I usually went to get it, and I had a detention that afternoon anyway, so at break time, I nipped out to get her medication. The teachers caught me, searched my bag and found her pills. They called the police, and didn't even listen when I tried to explain about mum. They didn't believe me. Then the police raided my house with her inside it, just wearing her nightie and a pair of flip flops. I was so angry, I just couldn't stop shouting and they restrained me and put me in one of their cars. And then Uncle Egues turned up, and sorted out the police and everything. That slag Hermia went around telling everyone that I'm a drug dealer. And because mum was in such a bad condition, I had to have her sectioned, and I lived with Uncle Egues for a couple of months. Hermia just wound me up all the time, and invited Mercutio and all their stupid friends around to laugh at me. She's the one who's trouble, if you ask me!"

"Why didn't you say?"

"I did. I told your husband mum had manic depression. But he didn't listen and the next day he took my phone. You don't understand what it's like, caring for someone like that. I'm constantly worried about her! I go out at night, to try and forget about it all, but I just feel guilty about leaving her so I get drunk to forget and then I get into trouble. And you want to know why I hate you Montagues so much? Because your son, yes, your son, your so-called little goodie two-shoes former choir boy, rings my house phone up at night to say stupid things to her, like the house is being repossessed, or pretending to my doctor saying I've got an STD, which I haven't!"

"Ok, Tybalt, I get the picture, calm down now"

"That's just the beginning. Sometimes, they knock on the door, runaway, and just leave mum standing like a pillock looking for visitors. Another time, they dropped a stink bomb through one of the windows!" ranted Tybalt. He stopped, and breathed deeply and angrily "Yes, I understand that they hate me because I call Mercutio a fag, and that I dunked Benvolio's head down the loo and flushed it, and that I've fought with them all. I hold my hands up to that. But it gives them no right to torment my mum!"

Lady Montague was silent for a few moments "Ok" she said finally "I understand. When Romeo gets back I'll have a word with him. But you don't do yourself any favours either!"

Juliet waited in the doorway, and cleared her throat "It's like a vicious circle. Tybalt, you fight with them, they torment Aunty Regina and prank call you, so you fight with them, so they torment Aunty Regina. Neither one of you will win the battle"

"Yes. You're right. You're all as bad as each other" said Lady Montague "Shall we all start afresh as from today?"

"Well, no, because I don't have my mobile, so I can't look after my mum properly"

"Well, that was your punishment for being rude to me, and sending raunchy text messages in a church"

"So?"

"And we've given you the chance to redeem yourself and earn it back"

"It's ok, because I used Rosaline's. Now she's gone, I can't"

"Well, there is still a chance for you to earn it back" said Lady Montague.

"I'm going home in a week"

"That's still enough time for you to change your ways. Look, you can't go on like this, being so destructive. When you first turned up here, you and Juliet were very close. Now look what's happened. Your behaviour did this"

"No, it..." Tybalt began to argue back, before stopping. Of course, it all made sense to him now. Sure, bad things had happened to him. But that wasn't always an excuse. He could either choose to go down in a spiral, acting like he didn't care. Or he could pull himself together, stop lashing out at those who cared. He still had his job. He still had enough time at school to hopefully get his marks up. And as for Rosaline...

"Would you like me to leave you alone now?" asked Lady Montague, still stroking his shoulder. Normally, Tybalt would have yelled 'Get off me you dirty Montague!' but today, it actually felt quite nice. Comforting, in a way.

"Tybalt, I'm sorry I said you did drugs" said Juliet "I was mad at you for embarrassing me and I didn't want Rosaline here"

"It's ok" said Tybalt, sitting up "Let's all start afresh"

Lady Montague held out her hand as a sign of agreement. Tybalt shook it.


	44. Gossip Mongers

Magenta - I know! It took 43 chapters for Tybalt to finally be in a position to back down! Now, have some more Hermia and Benvolio. In fact, those two have actually given me an idea for maybe a kind of 'Midsummer Night's Dream' sequel.

In this chapter, Hermia tries to evaluate her feelings, and her and Mercutio say mean things about Rosaline's family, Tybalt and Rosaline's future children (if they have any) and celebrate when Benvolio brings some dramatic news.

* * *

Hermia and Mercutio were chilling out on the roof of the Capulet Manor. Romeo and Benvolio were inside, trying to help Lord Capulet tidy up. Lady Capulet was still nowhere to be seen.

"I just don't know, Mercutio!" sighed Hermia "I really like him, I do"

"You can't have two boyfriends. It's not fair on either of them!"

"But I've been with Lysander for ages now and he put me up when dad kicked me out. But me and Benvolio...we have so much in common! We've both lost our mums, both know what it feels like to be second best to the remaining parent, both been bullied by Tybalt and he's just so cute and dorky and nerdy and so geek chic I can't keep my hands off him!"

"I know, I know. Me and Romeo were still pretty shocked though! Romeo worried that you'd both gone and done-"

"No!" laughed Hermia, the wind whipping away her words.

"Right. Think about it like this. Lysander, who is just a normal guy, who your dad doesn't like. Or Benvolio, who is a Montague, who your dad positively hates. Which one do you think will work out best?"

"Well, Benvolio's only a Montague cousin, and I'm only a bastard Capulet"

"Don't call yourself that!"

"What? I am. Everyone calls me that so I may as well accept it and take pride in it"

"Fair enough" shrugged Mercutio "But what are you going to do for now?"

"I want some time to think" said Hermia.

"Ok...but look, don't break Benvolio's heart. I mean, Gabriel stole his first girlfriend and he's only just got over it"

"You make him sound like Romeo"

"Well, they are cousins" shrugged Mercutio "But Benvolio's been a lot quieter about it. Romeo, of course, would have tried to leap off the roof"

"If one of us hadn't pushed him first" said Hermia, rolling her eyes.

"Don't tempt me" muttered Mercutio. Hermia gave a snort of laughter, and went back to staring up at the clouds. They drifted past, blocking the harsh sunlight from their eyes. Both of them were grateful for that. Virtually everyone in the Capulet household (apart from the servants) were hung over.

A thought suddenly occurred to Hermia "Hey...Mercutio, did you see my silly mouse of a step-mum anywhere this morning?"

"Nope. Who cares? She's said nothing all week, other than what she told us Sunday morning"

Hermia turned, a malicious grin on her face "Wait a second...if she said she didn't love him a week ago, and we can't find her now...maybe she's left him!"

"Oh my God, Hermy-wa, you're right! I bet she's left him. She was pretty shocked when he told her to cool it!" gossiped Mercutio.

"Finally, that bitch is out the house. Hopefully she'll take Rosaline and the rest of those stupid Oftmoros with her"

"Yeah. With a bit of luck, Tybalt will leave with them. Stupid Oftmoros. I think they all look like crosses between ostriches and Chihuahuas"

Hermia snorted again "Rosaline is totally an ostrich"

"Tybalt does look like a cat. A ginger tomcat, always getting into scraps. Which is why we call him...Tibbles!"

"Ha! Wonder what his and Rosaline's ugly kids will look like"

"If they even last that long" scoffed Mercutio "They'll be over by next Christmas"

"I don't know about that. actually. Rosaline's always had pretty big jugs that Tybalt's always liked"

"That's only why they're together. Tybalt, because he's rich, and Rosaline, because he likes her jugs"

The trapdoor to the roof opened, and Benvolio stepped out. He looked shocked. Hermia didn't quite meet his eye.

"I thought I'd find you two here. Lord Capulet just found a note under his pillow. Lady Capulet has left him!"

Hermia and Mercutio looked at each other and high-fived.

"I told you!" exclaimed Mercutio.

"Good riddance to the silly mouse!" declared Hermia.


	45. Expect The Unexpected

Magenta - Yep, indeed, 'Nice Tybalt' is back!

Jocasta Silver - Congratulations! You are my 100th reviewer! Thank you. Who indeed will she pick?

japaneserockergirl - Wait and see...

Jenni - I hope I haven't offended you or anything. And thanks for saying it was a nice chapter.

A - Thank you so much :)

I hope none of you are Twilight fans, as Tybalt and Juliet engage in some Twilight-bashing in this chapter. I'm not a big fan of Twilight myself, it's got some ok bits and some bits that make me roll my eyes, but it's fine by me if people want to read it and enjoy it. I wouldn't do what Tybalt says Gabriel did in this chapter. Some of the rabid fans are pretty funny though, so I thought I'd make Beatrix one! On a better note, Tybalt does a good deed! And to those of you who wanted to see Beatrix, keep on reading!

* * *

"Look, I planted you a new tree" said Tybalt, pointing.

"Thank you" beamed Paulina "It's lovely. Where did you find it?"

"My mate gave it to me" replied Tybalt.

"You sure it's not a cannabis bush?" teased Juliet.

"Very funny, Juliet" Tybalt rolled his eyes.

"No bickering" said Paulina "Well, I think we're done cleaning the house. We still have to replace the broken window, but we can get some professionals to do that later. I've boarded it up for now. Tea's going to be around about seven, so you two can amuse yourselves until then if you want. There are films in the box next to the television set, and if you have any homework you need to do, then the table's free until an hour before dinner"

"I don't have any homework. I did it all in the week" explained Juliet.

"What about you, Tybalt?" asked Paulina.

"I never get any homework" lied Tybalt. When he saw her looking at him, he replied quickly "And even if I did, I can do it tomorrow. Right, Juliet?"

Juliet snorted.

"Well, then I guess you both have a free afternoons. By the way" Paulina said, trying to sound casual "Beatrix got back from France last night. Anthony's coming for dinner, and he's bringing her with him"

"Not the Twitard!" moaned Tybalt.

"The what?" asked Paulina, her eyes narrowed.

"The Twitard. It means annoying crazy rabid Twilight fan" explained Tybalt.

"Tybalt's always trolling on Twilight forums and calling the girls ugly desperate slags. That was funny when one of them said you did not have a romantic bone in your body and your body and mind were full of pent up hatred of life" sniggered Juliet. Tybalt started to giggle hysterically.

"Gabriel started it. He actually burnt a copy. I mean, he stole his girlfriend's copy, burnt it, filmed it, put it on Youtube, and then for a school reading project he wrote an essay deconstructing Twilight, put it on the internet, and trolled all their fan sites. Serve them right – those stupid girls make me sick. Rosaline's always seen sense"

"Ahem" said Juliet.

"And so's Juliet" added Tybalt.

"Real life love is much greater than a fictional one" added Juliet.

"Exactly" smirked Tybalt "I can tell whatever boy you chose to date, is going to be one lucky lad. Until he starts pissing you off. Then I'm going to punch him"

"Well, there's a spare laptop in one of living rooms if you want to go and do some internet trolling on that. However, don't mention any of this to Beatrix. Benvolio's already short-sighted. He's lucky he hasn't lost both his eyes all together!"

"Cool. I'm going to go and do that"

Tybalt turned and swaggered into the house. Juliet shrugged, and followed. Tybalt slumped on the sofa with the laptop on his lap.

"What are you going to do today?" asked Juliet.

"I'm going to go on Youtube" replied Tybalt. He loaded up the page and his account, and saw a new video by Mercutio. Tybalt had subscribed to Mercutio's account so he could spy on him and his friend's antics ages ago. The video was titled 'Lord Capulet Breaks It Down And Rocks It Out'

"What on earth...?" asked Tybalt, looking at the link.

"What's the matter?" asked Juliet as she peered over.

"That!" replied Tybalt.

"Click on it!" instructed Juliet.

Tybalt clicked on it, and turned the volume up. The sounds of 'Poker Face' blasted out the speakers. Romeo's shrill cry of "Break it down, Lord C!" was the next noise. Juliet and Tybalt were speechless as they watched the normally stern and cranky patriach of their family twirl around, shake his 'booty,' shimmy around Romeo, who was having a hard job not to pee himself with laughter. The video jolted, to show Hermia and Benvolio dancing together, and then back at Romeo as he laughed. Lord Capulet suddenly stopped dancing, grabbed a glass of vodka, downed it, and then start dancing again.

"See how awesome the new and improved Lord C is!" giggled Mercutio, the sound coming from behind the camera. Lord Capulet did a weird kind of half back flip, Mercutio laughed again, and then video stopped.

Tybalt turned and looked at Juliet.

"What. Was. That?"


	46. Romeo's Big Mistake

Magenta - I liked the first one as a stand alone novel, but Bella got on my wick very quickly after that and all my friends went crazy over it like Beatrix, which is why I don't like it very much. I'm glad I haven't offended you for liking it or anything. And as loads of people were wondering about Bearix, I just thought, what the hell, she might be fun to annoy the Capulets with.

japaneserockergirl - I didn't actually plan on the ending, I was just going to leave it with Tybalt going in the house and Juliet following, and then I realised it was too funny not to use!

Jenni & A - Thank you, keep enjoying the story!

In today's update, Romeo makes a fatal mistake at very bad timing!

* * *

Now, they may have all got drunk last night, and have hangovers from hell, but that didn't stop Hermia, Mercutio and Benvolio grabbing a spare bottle of alcohol, and going back up to the roof to celebrate where Lord Capulet couldn't catch them and tell them off. As for Lord Capulet himself, he and Romeo slumped on the sofa with their own spare bottles of alcohol.

"Fifteen years" slurred Lord Capulet "We were together for that long. I don't know how I'm going to tell Juliet"

"Ten days. And then she left me for another girl. It was so hard telling my parents"

"Harsh" Lord Capulet hiccupped "What's the worst...love-related experience you've had?"

"This girl...lied to me. She was so beautiful, she showed off to me, and then I fell head over heels, before she told me she was part of the Celibacy Club and wore a Chastity Ring. And then all my friends said they'd seen her with another boy. I didn't believe them, until my friends filmed them together. And then showed it to me for Christmas!"

"Low" winced Lord Capulet. He took a swig of alcohol. Romeo copied.

"It doesn't stop there" Romeo blathered "I have more sad love affairs"

"You're sixteen" chided Lord Capulet "You can't have that many"

"I may be young, but I'm not too young...to love" hiccupped Romeo, drinking again "This girl..."

"Who?"

"Just some girl"

"Go on"

"This girl...her dad hates me. Really hates me. But we wanted to be together, no matter what. And she's got this cousin, this really evil homophobic cousin, let's call him Tim, who bullies my friends and is mean to me as well. He's the one who was with the girl I faniced. And there's no way we can be together. So we hang out. In secret"

"That's sad. So sad"

"I know"

"Is there not anything I can do?" asked Lord Capulet "I don't want to see another handsome young man waiting until his mid-thirties to marry some young thing who doesn't care about him, only his money and the social status. What can I do?"

"Well...not a lot really"

"Come on. Just say it"

Romeo uttered a quick prayer.

"Let Juliet see who she wants"

"What?" asked Lord Capulet, spilling his drink a little. He lurched forwards, his eyes narrowed at Romeo.

"You'll make her run if you don't let her fly. I'm honestly not that bad" Romeo pleaded.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'll try and get on better with your family. I mean, I'll make Mercutio stop prank-calling Tybalt and saying he has an STD or that the house is being repossessed, and I'll be nicer to his crazy mum"

"What...what are you talking about? What do you mean?" Lord Capulet asked.

"Well..." Romeo swallowed "Sometimes, during the evenings, Juliet would sneak out with Hermia, and meet me, Mercutio and Benvolio and sometimes some other of my friends. And...we've been getting on very well. She's a great girl, you should be really proud of her"

"Where is this conversation going?"

"I've been seeing her!"

"How dare you" breathed Lord Capulet "In one weekend, I have lost my wife, my dignity, my reputation-"

"Not that it was good to start with" muttered Romeo.

"And now you're lying to me about my own daughter?" hissed Lord Capulet.

"I'm not lying! Just ask the others!" protested Romeo. There was a commotion as Hermia, Benvolio, and Mercutio hurried down the stairs and peered around the corner to watch the latest session of drama.

"Get out of my sight" Lord Capulet said coldly "You know, I was just starting to think you weren't so bad, and then you start making up crappy lies? For what purpose?"

"I love her!" cried Romeo, tears welling up in his brown eyes.

"Get out"

Romeo ran to the doorway where the other three waited.

"You idiot!" hissed Mercutio.

"You've dropped me, Juliet, and Benvolio in it now!" Hermia added.

"This isn't going to go down well at all!" Benvolio trembled.

"But I just thought he might..."

Hermia grabbed him and pulled him upstairs "I'll deal with you myself. Benvolio, Mercutio, try and calm Lord C down, or just make sure he doesn't do anything, like ring Juliet and shout at her. Thanks a bundle, Romeo!"


	47. Can't Speak French

Magenta - Romeo and the gang are in for a lot of awkwardness...and yes, Lord C is pretty funny. Who can be bothered with saying Capulet all the time? It makes him seem more contemporary.

A - That's really sweet of you. Keep checking my profile every now and then, a few might turn up! And I'm sure we'd be great friends. It's funny how you only seem to meet people just like you on the internet.

There's some French in this chapter. I don't know any French, I used a translater, so it's probably wrong. But still, it's pretty funny!

* * *

Anthony Montague was a large, tall man, with broad shoulders. He had a high forehead, which made him look sterner than he really was. His hair was short, and would have stuck up in funny directions like Benvolio, but it was too short for that. His muscled arms bulged out of his work shirt. Juliet felt a little intimidated. He was usually quite strict with Benvolio, and he also owned a nightclub. Juliet didn't want to be on his bad side.

Beatrix, the Twitard, was not quite so scary. Well, maybe she was. After all, she was a Twitard, and she was wearing one of those 'Team Edward' shirts. Even worse, she wore bright pink lipstick on that clashed with her skin tone, and had dyed her naturally brownish black hair to blonde. It didn't suit her. Being Benvolio's twin sister, Juliet had an idea of what she would look like without the badly applied make up and bleached blonde hair, and it was a hell of a lot more attractive than the way she looked now.

Juliet turned to look at Tybalt, but he was pushing his dinner around his plate. Anthony kept glaring at him, even though he hadn't said anything so far.

"I bet it's been quiet this past week" said Paulina, trying to break the silence.

"Too quiet. I've had no Justin Bieber being played, no arguing kids and no Star Trek being watched"

"I don't watch it. That's Benvolio" corrected Beatrix "I like to watch the Twilight films"

"Really? That's amazing" gasped Tybalt sarcastically, slamming down his fork in mock surprise. Juliet sniggered. Beatrix glared at him.

"It's been so peaceful. I had some pals around to watch the footy last Saturday. We got through the whole match without anybody moaning, anybody complaining it was boring, or anybody whining to watch the Twilight films, and we actually managed to clean up without anyone making anymore mess"

"That would be Benvolio's stupid science experiments. I don't make mess" shrugged Beatrix.

"True. He always leaves his homework around the house. You know, I came across this test tube in the bathroom cabinet last month. He was trying to see how much dust would settle inside it, and he had more around the house. Honestly. What is he like?"

"Well, it's great to see him working hard in school" said Lord Montague enthusiastically "How are you doing at school, Beatrix? Do you think the exchange was helpful?"

"Yeah, my exchange partner was practically fluent in our language, so she just polished up on it and did all the talking" replied Beatrix.

"Did you talk in French at all?" asked Paulina.

"I learnt the words Bonjour and Au Revoir. They mean hello and goodbye" said Beatrix proudly.

"But do you know what 'Vas te faire encule' means?" asked Tybalt.

"No, what does it mean?"

"Twilight is the best book ever" lied Tybalt. Juliet started to giggle, and sent a quick text to Tybalt (who had earned his phone back due to having planted Lady Montague a new tree) under the table, asking what it really meant. Tybalt replied within seconds.

'_It means...Fuck You!'_

Juliet started to laugh, and had to clamp her mouth shut.

"How do you know French?" asked Anthony, seemingly shocked.

"I'm half-French" explained Tybalt "My dad used to live on a farm, in France. I go there in the summer"

"And I wondered why my club stopped getting vandalized in August" muttered Anthony. Tybalt just ignored him, and Juliet silently praised him. Since his talk with her and Paulina, Tybalt had calmed right down. Perhaps the remaining week wouldn't be so bad after all.

"It must be nice, being able to speak two language fluently" began Paulina, but the door rang. She got up "I'll go and get it"

A few moments later, Paulina walked back into the dining room with Escalus, Angelo, Rosaline, and Gabriel behind her. Gabriel looked pale and draught, and had a bandage wrapped around his head. The blond hair he usually so lovingly attended to was now mussed up and tangled.

Escalus smiled at everyone "Nice to see you all again. We're just dropping Rosaline back off. Gabriel's been feeling better"

"And Gabriel has something he wants to say to you" added Angelo. He turned to his son and snarled "Apologize to the Montagues, at once"

"I feel too ill to talk" whined Gabriel.

"Say it!" snapped Angelo.

Gabriel sighed "I'm so sorry I got drunk and jumped in your pool. And I'm sorry I said Romeo looked like a camel and that Benvolio was a socially retarded bed-wetter"

There was an awkward silence.

"That's all right" said Paulina finally.

"Now get out of here, and get in the car" Angelo commanded. Gabriel pouted and stalked off. Rosaline watched him, and then glanced over at Tybalt.

"Oh, Beatrix, you're back" said Escalus "Did you learn any French?"

"Yeah!" Beatrix nodded eagerly "Want to hear?"

"Sure. I learnt a bit of French when I was younger. Being Prince, and everything"

"Vas te faire encule!" said Beatrix proudly. Tybalt and Juliet began to laugh. Rosaline looked at them bemused. Escalus, however, was horrified.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Vas te faire encule!" Beatrix said again. Tybalt just laughed harder. Beatrix looked around confused "What? I just Twilight was the best book ever"

Tybalt looked like he was about to wet himself with laughter.

"You just swore at me!" exclaimed Escalus.

"No, I didn't!" protested Beatrix. All eyes turned to Tybalt.

"It means..." he spluttered "It means Fuck You!"

Juliet howled with laughter, and they high-fived. They were a team again! Rosaline joined in, and applauded Tybalt.

"That's enough" said Escalus firmly "And Beatrix, if you're back in Verona...shouldn't you be at the Capulet's?"


	48. A Little Addition

Magenta - Yes, I have a really funny scene between Beatrix and Benvolio coming. And Rosaline is going to do something.

Oreoskidz - Hooray! You came back! I'm glad I cheer you up each day!

A - I'm glad I cheer you up too!

So, after Romeo makes a prat of himself in front of Lord C, it's left to Hermia and the other boys to pick up the pieces. And they get another addition to the experiment. Also, my Study Leave ends today and the offical summer holidays start! And I'm getting two kittens - a moggy and a tabby one that I'm calling Tybalt!

Plus, you guys are going to absolutely LOL at what Hermia says to Beatrix at the end of the chapter!

* * *

"What did you say that for! Now you've just dropped yourself and Juliet in it!" hissed Hermia.

"I just thought..." faltered Romeo.

"Thought what!" demanded Hermia.

"That he'd understand! He'd been nicer since the party! And Lysander said..."

"Lysander said what?" asked Hermia.

"That I'd have to face the music some day or another" said Romeo "That we could hide all we wanted, but it wouldn't work, Lord Capulet would find out and be angry about it. And I just thought, perhaps I could explain, whilst he's being nicer"

Hermia rolled her eyes "He's an unpredictable old man. He called me his precious baby girl last night. Like hell I am! More like his little bastard brat"

Romeo snivelled, and blew his nose on a tissue "Where are the other two?"

"Trying to see if they can undo the damage you've done. We're lucky he hasn't stormed around to your parents' house to have it out with Juliet. He's going to explode if he finds out about the belly piercing as well. Then Tybalt's going to be in trouble too. Not that that's always a bad thing"

"I told him" murmured Romeo.

"You did what?"

"I told him about her belly piercing on Monday, when he came to get you back. Me and the others had a protest about you not being here and lay on his bedroom floor, refusing to get up until he brought you home. And when he went on about how badly behaved we were, and I said about how even Juliet got up to no good sometimes"

"Great" muttered Hermia "Well, at least he's not mad at her about that. The thing is, Romeo, the camera people filmed you. On Saturday night, even if we sort out Eugene, the whole of Verona are going to see you. And disapprove. And cause trouble. So it looks like we'll have to buy off the camera people, or destroy the tapes, if you want to get away with this"

"No!" cried Romeo "I'm tired of hiding!"

"But you haven't even asked Juliet what she thinks! You two are meant to be in this together! If you get trashed for dating a Capulet, then she gets trashed as well!"

"Says the girl who made out with my cousin all night!"

Hermia turned pink "At least we know what we're doing – oh shit, that didn't get filmed, did it?"

"Yep" smirked Romeo. The door buzzed, and they both glanced at each other.

"Shall we go and get that?" said Hermia.

"Ok" replied Romeo. They hurried down the stairs, only to find Lord Capulet already there.

"No more Montagues!" snapped Lord Capulet.

"But everything was fine this morning!" protested Escalus "Beatrix won't be any trouble. She'll just...watch Twilight and listen to Justin Bieber"

"No Justin Bieber fans in my house!" commanded Lord Capulet. Hermia rolled her eyes, and made her way to the front door.

"Hey, Beatrix! How was France"

"Fine" sulked Beatrix.

"What's wrong with you?" asked Hermia "We'll have fun. Last night we had a raging house party and Romeo here got Eugene drunk. Romeo is still drunk and saying loads of babbled nonsense. Isn't that right, Mr. Camera Man over there?"

Lord Capulet glared at her. Escalus, however, had frowned.

"Hermia...why are you here?"

"I came home on Monday" replied Hermia.

"So, shouldn't you be at the Montagues?"

Beatrix grinned "Ha!"

"Well, technically, no. You see, you made Mercutio do this experiment even though he isn't a Capulet or a Montague but because he's too close to the Montagues for his own good. Now, I am a bastard Capulet-"

"Hermia" snapped Lord Capulet.

"But I like to think I'm too close to Mercutio and the boys for my own good as well, so I'd like to stay here too"

"You heard her!" shouted Mercutio from inside the house. Escalus rolled his eyes.

"Fine, you can stay"

"Cool!" beamed Hermia "Come on, Beatrix, we were just about to go on mine and Mercutio's all new Facebook group. We've called it 'Tybalt Capulet Looks Like Robert Pattinson' What do you reckon?"

Beatrix drew back horrified "I'll never look at Edward Cullen the same again!"

The sound of Mercutio cackling filled the air. And Benvolio was snorting with laughter too.


	49. Doing Business

Magenta - Haha! So will Beatrix! She'll never fancy him again! I always image Tybalt looking a little more like Robert Kazinsky, who played Sean Slater in EastEnders. Tybalt's mum in this story was also based on Sean Slater's mum, Jean, as well.

A - Cool, keep checking my page after this story is finished, because I might have started writing it! Also, yep, I can't wait to get my kittens. I couldn't resist calling one Tybalt, because of the whole 'Prince of Cats' thing. When I get them, I'll probably post some pics of them to my deviantart account, so I'll put a link on my page to that, keep checking.

Now that a truce with Tybalt and Claudio and Paulina has been reached, what it's going to be like? And what will Anthony think of him?

* * *

The remaining adult Montagues sat around the table, watching the three Capulet teenagers as they watched them.

"So, what happened to Gabriel after I left?" asked Claudio, breaking the silence.

"They did a scan" said Rosaline "Luckily, his skull wasn't fractured or anything. That horrible cracking sound was just the smack or him hitting the ground. He'd only cut his head open, and they just had to sew it up again. They discharged him as daddy was anxious to get him home and out of that place. I mean, there was this old biddy bagging at least three doctor's attention, just because she'd had a fall. Angelo gets private healthcare anyway, so Gabriel will probably get better treatment at their private hospital anyway if he gets worse"

"That's a relief then!" sighed Paulina.

"The brat deserved it" grunted Anthony.

Rosaline glared at him "No one deserves to smack their head like that. It was scary"

"It was pretty graphic" admitted Tybalt "I mean, there was blood all over the towel. It was so gross"

"You were pretty good at administrating first aid" nodded Paulina.

"Yeah...I've been in a similar situation before" explained Tybalt.

"I expect you have" said Anthony. Tybalt looked at him confused "You're a chip off the old block"

"Thank you?"

"It's nothing to be proud of. One parent is mental, the other is doing a life sentence. Way to go, Tybalt. I'm sure they're both proud of you"

"Shut up" snarled Rosaline before Tybalt could throw his plate of food at him.

"Give it a rest, Anthony. He's been behaving much better" said Paulina, a tone of annoyance in her voice.

"Yeah, just wait until half your valuables are missing"

"I wouldn't want any dirty Montague valuables" hissed Tybalt.

"You tell them, Tibby" encouraged Rosaline.

"That's enough! Everyone, calm down. This was meant to be a nice evening" Paulina instructed.

"Rightly said" added Claudio "So, anything interesting happening at school, you kids?"

"Besides revising for exams? Nothing" replied Rosaline.

"You'll pass" assured Tybalt.

"And so will you. You can do French in your sleep. You know, you actually talk in your sleep, in French!" said Rosaline.

"What does he sound like? 'Le Snore! Le Snore!'" imitated Juliet.

"No...more like 'Vas te fair encule, Mercutio!'" Rosaline replied. Tybalt snorted, and Anthony scowled at them all.

"It isn't funny manipulating people like that"

"It's bloody hilarious" scoffed Tybalt.

"Juliet! What are you doing at school next week?" Paulina interrupted.

"A mock paper for biology and chemistry. We did the physics one last week. We're doing our first modules this year. It's meant to be easier" explained Juliet.

"What would I give to still be doing GCSE level stuff" grumbled Tybalt.

"I thought you said you hated GCSEs and that you'd only ever go through it again if it was a choice between that and Mercutio chasing you with a hot poker stick whilst sadistically singing the Barbie girl song" said Juliet.

Tybalt rolled his eyes "Whatever. It'll all be over in a few months. I can't bloody wait"

"What are you going to do then?" asked Paulina.

Tybalt shrugged "Go full time at the music store. I mean, it can't be difficult, can it? Selling rap CDs to baby gangsters, whilst being able to hop over to the chip shop to get lunch, and earning money for it?"

"And getting belly piercings" added Juliet.

"I'm impressed Uncle Egues hasn't found out yet" nodded Rosaline.

"What are you hoping to do when you finish school, Rosaline?" asked Anthony.

"I'm going to go to university to study economics, or maybe business. And then I'm going to start a business, and get rich, and hire lots of minions to be cruel to" answered Rosaline.

"It's not easy starting a business. Or getting to a stage where you have such minions to be cruel too" Anthony said "I have my nightclub. I had to borrow some money to get it all started about nine or ten years ago. I only paid it off two years ago. I think the kids were about six...because that was the year Benvolio won some prize or something"

"Is it easy, managing all the finances and having to people manage, and all the other stuff you have to do?" asked Rosaline.

"No job is easy I'd say, but if you enjoy it, and it's what you want to do, then go for it. You need to know what you're going to sell, or run, before you do anything. I'd say work for a business, whilst making your own plans, to gain experience. And most importantly, run a business about something that you like. It will motivate you to put in the extra work, rather than just be another project"

"All right" Rosaline nodded "Thanks"


	50. The Most Annoying Sister In The World

A - Thank you! I'm currently just jotting down ideas for a sequel. I know I've said I've got the ending to this one ready, but I keep changing it and being indecisive. I can't wait to get my kittens either.

I can't believe I have hit fifty chapters! Twenty chapters ago I was thinking about an ending, and I still haven't got there. Ah well. Today, we get a few much wanted moments with Beatrix torturing Benvolio!

* * *

It was down to Hermia to set Beatrix a room up. Beatrix refused to share with the boys, so Hermia put her in the room next door. It then occurred to Benvolio that he didn't have to share his bed with Mercutio, he could have just asked Eugene for a different room with another bed. But right now didn't seem like a good time, especially as he was pacing up and down in the living room, muttering about all the stupid bloody Montagues.

The nurse fetched them for dinner, and they all ate in an awkward silence. Hermia and Benvolio shared knowing glances, and when Mercutio dropped his fork on the floor and bent down to pick it up, he noticed that their legs were a little too close to each other's for comfort. Romeo stayed bright pink with embarrassment throughout dinner, and neither of them knew what to say to the other.

"Even if Tybalt looks like Robert Pattinson, Justin Bieber and Taylor Lautner don't" said Beatrix suddenly.

"Gabriel looks like Justin Bieber"

Hermia snorted so hard that the water from her drink shot back in the cup.

"Mercutio, you are just so..." growled Beatrix.

"Gabriel is blond" corrected Benvolio.

"And dumb" added Mercutio.

"Some of us at this table are blonde, actually" chided Beatrix.

"Really? Well, I can see your roots!" scoffed Mercutio.

Beatrix opened her mouth to say something, but Hermia interrupted "Your hair is nice naturally. Why'd you dye it?"

"Because I don't want the same hair colour as Benvolio!" snapped Beatrix.

"Thanks" said Benvolio sarcastically.

"It's a nice colour" said Hermia "I love that kind of dark brown"

Benvolio smiled at her. They carried on eating in silence, and then went upstairs to avoid Lord Capulet as he stormed around the living room, still muttering. They watched TV in Hermia's room, and then at ten 'o' clock, went to bed, as there was nothing else to do.

Sunday turned out to be as boring as last week. Lord Capulet boxed up his wife's old possessions, and then shoved them in a spare room, should she turn up for them. Romeo dared not face him.

"This house is so quiet. And it's so boring" complained Beatrix, as Benvolio beat her at Checkers yet again.

"Tell me about it. I've been stuck here all week. It's like living in Miss Havisham's attic"

"Who is Miss Havisham?" asked Beatrix.

"Don't tell me you don't even know who Miss Havisham is?"

"Well, no. Is she another person in one of your boring old books?"

Benvolio glared at her "Yes, she is, actually. I studied 'Great Expectations' in English last year. What did your class do?"

"Pride and Prejudice. I didn't get it" said Beatrix.

"Of course you wouldn't, you ignorant Twitard" muttered Benvolio.

"I heard that" snapped Beatrix.

"I know. It was intentional" Benvolio shot back.

"It's not fair you're so smart and I'm not" Beatrix sulked.

"Really? Well, I thought you said you were grateful you got the beauty, and I got the brains because I was so ugly that the brains wouldn't even be worth it. Although I have to say...your beauty is questionable"

"Thanks a bundle"

"Hermia was right, you look better with your natural hair colour" Benvolio said, an eyebrow raised "And count yourself lucky. You don't have to wear glasses. You could look a lot nicer than an extra from Legally Blonde"

"The day I need you, Mr. Pin-Striped Purple Tie And Black And White Chequered Shirt, to give me fashion tips will be the day Tybalt gets down on one knee and proposes to Mercutio"

Benvolio snorted "That would be pretty funny"

Beatrix grinned "What did you do at this party I heard about anyway?"

"Got pissed, got Eugene pissed, played pop music, danced with Hermia, made out with Hermia-"

Beatrix's bright pink mouth transformed into an O.

"No way!" she spluttered.

"Yep. We did. She says I'm cute. Geek chic"

"But she's a Capulet!"

"So? She says she's only a bastard Capulet. And I'm only a Montague cousin. It's only if you're Romeo or Juliet you should be worried"

"I knew it" said Beatrix "I knew there was something going on between those two. He was always defending her when I called the Capulet girls slags"

"Hermia's not a slag"

"Have you seen the way Demetrius and Lysander crawl over her?"

"Yeah, but it's not like she's giving it up to both of them"

"Well, she's damn right cheating on Lysander with you. You know, Lysander is like Edward, Hermia is Bella, Demetrius is Mike Newton and you're Jacob!"

"Beatrix" said Benvolio.

"Yes?"

"Don't make me punch you!"


	51. Late Night Guest

Magenta - Don't worry about it, my internet is also super screwy at the worst times! I consider Rosaline to be a Femme Fatale. Smart, clever, and calculating on the inside, and stunningly beautiful on the outside to draw men into her trap. And thanks about the kitties! I can't wait to get them.

A - Yeah, Beatrix is pretty funny, but also the sister from hell! But thanks to Mercutio and Hermia, she'll never fancy Robert Pattinson and Justin Dweeber (Great name) again!

Oreoskidz - Lol, yeah, if there's anyone Benvolio threatens with violence...then it's his annoying twin sister! And go ahead, draw Hermia and Benvolio together! Do you want some descriptions of them? Have you got deviantart? I want to see it!

After a hectic weekend, it's finally Sunday evening. And who turns up on the Montague's doorstep?

* * *

All teenagers in the Montague household decided to have an early night on Sunday as they had school the next day. Tybalt was snoring within minutes, and Rosaline (after the party, she, Tybalt and the Montagues had come to an understanding about the sleeping arrangements) lay awake listening to it, almost wishing she was in a different room. In the room down the corridor, Juliet was silently sleeping. One of Lady Montague's dogs, Eddie, was sleeping at the foot of her bed.

"I'm so glad they're behaving themselves" said Paulina, as she cuddled up to her husband on the sofa.

"Me too" replied Claudio "Juliet's a nice girl. Rosaline is certainly interesting in her own right. And Tybalt's...not as bad as he seemed"

Paulina lifted her head from his arm "Do you think the whole prank-calling thing was true? Would our Romeo ever do something like that?"

"I don't know" admitted Claudio "No teenager is an angel. We'll talk to him when he gets back. We'll see him on Friday evening"

"It will be nice to have our own teenager to boss around again"

They both chuckled, and went back to idly watching the TV. The doorbell rang.

"Who is it now?" grumbled Claudio.

"Remember when Tybalt and Juliet both arrived here, and couldn't even find the door?" chuckled Paulina.

"Yes" said Claudio, getting up. Paulina followed, but hung back in the hallway to let Claudio do the talking.

A young blonde woman in her early thirties stood in the doorway, carrying a suitcase. Her hair was windswept, and she looked tired.

"Lady Capulet? What brings you here?" asked Lord Montague.

"I need to speak to Juliet"

"I'm afraid this isn't good timing. It's very late, and Juliet is asleep"

"Well, it's urgent" Lady Capulet wiped some blonde hair off her face "I don't know if you know this, but I've left her dad because he's a cold, emotionally frozen, misogynistic old man. And I've taken his credit card and booked into a hotel somewhere. And I want Juliet with me, if that's all right with me"

"You can't just turn up and take her. Escalus will..." began Paulina.

"I don't care about Escalus and his stupid experiment. At least let me speak to her. And don't, I repeat, let Tybalt know I'm here. He'll always be on Egues' side"

"What about me?" Rosaline stood in the hallway, wearing a pink silky nightie and a dressing gown to match. She looked from the Montagues to Lady Capulet; her plucked eyebrows raised "What's going on?"

"Nothing, Rosaline, go back to bed" instructed Lady Capulet.

"To what? Tybalt snoring like a bloody jackhammer? As if I'll get any sleep tonight! What's going on?"

"I've come for Juliet. So, you can take your selfish self back to Tybalt, and let me speak to her, on my own"

"Excuse me?" breathed Rosaline.

"Don't worry about this, Rosaline, we'll sort it out" assured Paulina. Rosaline turned reluctantly, looked back at Lady Capulet as the Montagues turned with their backs to Rosaline to face her. Rosaline stuck her middle finger up, and hurried away, gloating about the shocked look on her face.

"Are you sure this can't wait until morning?" asked Claudio.

"No! Or else Egues will find out"

"Fine" sighed Paulina "I'll show you to her room"


	52. Midnight Delight

Oreoskidz - You're welcome. Funnily enough, this whole chapter is dedicated to Hermia and Benvolio, and there's a lot of description about them both. I found you on deviantart and now I'm watching you. Here's the descriptions anyway. Everybody else, just ignore it! Benvolio has messy blackish brown hair. It isn't very short, but doesn't reach his shoulders. He wears glasses, has a tan, and his eyes are hazel. He has appalling dress sense unless helped out by Mercutio or Romeo. He also has really straight teeth as he used to have braces. He isn't fat or thin, but he isn't very muscley, just rather soft and cuddly. Hermia has bright ginger hair, that's shoulder length with her fringe covering her left eye. Her eyes are green and sparkly, and she usually wears groovy earrings that match her clothes. She has quite a colourful, punky dress sense, such as lace up boots, jeans, and a corsetted purple vest top, leggings and a bright dress top, or wears a home made shirt saying 'I HATE CHAVS' to annoy Tybalt with. She has a petite figure, and always has her nails painted something bright. She's shorter than Benvolio, who is medium sized.

A - I'd hate to have a sister like Beatrix too! Poor, poor Benvolio. No wonder he likes Hermia so much! She must be a breath of fresh air to him.

Now, today, Benvolio and Hermia get passionate again. I'll leave what happens next for you to decide...

* * *

The only person awake in the Capulet house was Benvolio. He was still sharing with Mercutio. Tonight, Benvolio lay uncomfortably on his back, with Mercutio hugging him tightly around the waist as he talked in his sleep about something very rude and repulsive that horrified the slightly more innocent Benvolio. This was scary.

Briefly, Benvolio wondered whether or not he could break free of the octopus and ask Romeo to share with him, but he knew he'd still be able to hear Mercutio's talking. Then he thought about sharing with Beatrix, but knew she would punch him in the face and call him a pervert for suggesting. He didn't know why she was so petty. They were twins. They'd shared a bath until they were eight, for goodness sake!

Untangling Mercutio's arms from around him, he climbed out the bed, fetched his glasses from the bedside table and padded nervously along the hallway to Hermia's room. There was a blue light coming from under the door, and so he knew she was awake. He knocked quietly, and the light went out. He slowly opened the door.

"It's me, Benvolio" he whispered into the darkness. The blue light, which he discovered was Hermia's phone, went back on.

"Oh" said Hermia, brushing her tangled red hair off her face "Come in"

Benvolio crept in, and sat at the foot of her bed. Hermia was wearing a tank top and sleep shorts that clung to her petite frame. Benvolio was wearing stripy pyjamas that made him look like an old man.

"I can't sleep" was all he could think of to say.

"Me neither. I'm worrying about Juliet now that Romeo's made a twit of himself"

"It can't be as bad as having Mercutio cuddling you to death and talking all about sex, in his sleep"

Hermia snorted "Oh, I remember camping out with him, Valentine, a couple of his cousins, and Romeo, in his backyard. Eugene thought I was at Helena's, but nope, I was with about six or seven boys. Mercutio is the worst sleep talker, isn't he? And he used to walk in his sleep too. Whilst we were camping, Valentine was saying about how one night he – before their dad was an alcoholic and when their parents were together – went into Valentine's room, picked up Valentine's duvet off of him, carried it all the way through the house, down the stairs, into the living room, put it on the sofa, just left it there, and then went back into his own room to back to sleep, leaving Valentine asleep on his bed, absolutely freezing cold!"

Benvolio giggled "You hang around with a lot of boys, don't you?"

"Yeah" Hermia shrugged. Benvolio pursed his lips, wondering what to say next.

"I like the attention" Hermia explained, when he didn't reply "And I like how they don't always talk about clothes and make-up and Twilight all the time, and I like their sense of humour, and the fact that boys don't bitch about each other and do any of that crap girls always seem to be doing"

Benvolio smiled, looking down "Apart from Gabriel!"

Hermia coughed "Puh-lease. He spends more time on his hair than Rosaline. Or Beatrix!"

"It must run in the family" Benvolio tugged a hand through his scruffy dark hair. He never did anything with his. They sat in silence for a few more minutes. He looked up, and saw her texting once again. He cleared his throat "Who were you texting?"

"Lysander"

"Oh" mumbled Benvolio, taken back by her honesty. He bent his head again. What did he have that Lysander didn't? Lysander was also a bit nerdish, but he was kind of cute looking, and most importantly, he wasn't a Montague. Benvolio had already lost his first love to Gabriel. Maybe it was the looks thing. Benvolio knew he was a dork who wore glasses and had absolutely awful dress sense. Beatrix was right. He was Mr. Pin-Striped Purple Tie And Black And White Chequered Shirt. He was unpopular in school, lousy at sport, couldn't stand up for himself without Mercutio and Romeo around, and was usually Tybalt's favourite punching bag.

Suddenly, he felt Hermia's fingers stroking his cheek. He glanced down and saw that they were painted her favourite shade of sparkly purple today.

"You've got really soft cheeks, you know"

"I have?"

"Yeah. It's cute. Like a baby"

"Thanks" Benvolio reached up, and held her hand over his face.

"Are you planning on going back to bed anytime soon?" asked Hermia, fluttering her lashes over her sparkling green eyes.

"To Mercutio talking about sex positions? No thank you"

"Good. You can keep me company" Hermia let go of his face, and reached down for his hand and pulled him down on top of her and began to kiss him like she had on Friday night. Benvolio's heart beat wildly, knowing this was going too far as she unbuttoned his pyjama top. But he was too excited to stop!


	53. Moisturize Your Face!

A - Oh no, Tybalt and Rosaline are feeling dejected!

Magenta - Lol, I love my cliff hangers! I wonder indeed how Juliet is going to react. She's finding out about the separation today!

So, as Benvolio and Hermia get passionate again, Lady Capulet has finally turned up after running away from Egues. And what does she want with Juliet so urgently?

* * *

Lady Capulet ghosted her fingers over Juliet's long ginger hair. The girl stirred in her sleep, and opened her blue eyes.

"Mum? Why are you here?"

Lady Capulet removed her hand from her hair and stood up straight "I don't have a lot of time"

"What's going on?" Juliet sat up. Eddie, who was sleeping at the foot of her bed, was disturbed and sat up as well "Is it dad? Is he sick? Has something happened to Hermia?"

"No" snapped Lady Capulet, turning away to look out the window. Eddie watched her suspiciously "I've left your dad"

"What?" gasped Juliet.

"You heard me. I've left him"

Juliet sat dumbfounded in the bed, watching her mother walk around the room. Eddie clamoured up on the bed to sit on Juliet's lap.

"Why?" asked Juliet, absentmindedly stroking the dog "You two were getting on just fine before I left"

"Exactly! We were getting on 'just fine' Well, 'just fine' isn't enough. I don't love him. He's a boring, miserable old man, who makes me miserable and feel guilty for being young, for wanting to follow modern trends and listen to modern music, most of all, for still being able to bend over without moaning!"

Juliet watched her horrified, and the woman went on.

"I packed my bags with all the stuff I want, but I've left the cat. Regina can have it. I never liked it that much anyway. I've taken his credit card, and transferred some of his money from our joint account into my own bank account I set up about a year ago. I'd been waiting for this for so long now. I've used his credit card and booked into a hotel. And bought myself some new stuff. Out with the old, in with the new! When I've sorted myself out, got a job, I'm going to move in with my mother, and use the rest of the money to get us a decent house. And I won't go back, even if he begs!"

"Can you not just...give him another chance?" asked Juliet.

"No" snapped Lady Capulet "Another thing. I've hired a solicitor, and filed for divorce. And then I'm changing my name back to Oftmoro"

"What about me? What's going to happen to me?" cried Juliet. Eddie leapt off down the bed, and headed to the door, to try and through the gap.

"That's why I'm here" Lady Capulet stood with her hands on her hips at the foot of her bed "I came to tell you what I've done, and what I will be doing. Now. Do you want to come with me, or not?"

"I..."

"Stay with him, and be miserable for the rest of your life. He's a control freak!"

"But if I leave him, he might be lonely"

"He's got his little bastard to keep him company!"

Eddie growled, and Juliet scowled "Don't call Hermia that!"

"Why are you on his side? He betrayed me. He betrayed us. Just leave him. Come with me"

"Now?"

"Yes!"

"But the Montagues! Escalus! The experiment!"

Lady Capulet sighed and rolled her eyes "I can get you out of it. It's not like you fight with and annoy the Montagues anyway. Just hurry up and get dressed. My hotel has a great big king-sized water bed you'll probably want to try out"

"Paulina and Claudio won't like this" said Juliet, noticing Eddie had slipped through the door, widening the gap and allowing more light to shine through "And what about Tybalt?"

"What about that hooligan?"

"He's my cousin" protested Juliet "I can't leave him"

"Yes, you can! Just hurry up, and get packing. Where's your case? I'll help. Put these jeans on, and this top here. Is this your clean underwear? And here's a hair brush. Sort yourself out, but don't be too long. It was hard enough begging those Montagues for a few minutes. If we hurry they'll be nothing they can do"

"Can we at least go back home and get the cat? And tell Hermia where I'm going"

"No. There's no time. He'll be angry at me for taking you. And my own daughter, anyway. I did all the work"

"And the Nurse didn't?" scoffed Juliet "And that's another thing. What about the Nurse?"

"You're in secondary school. You don't need a bloody nurse!"

"I..."

The door banged open. Tybalt stood, with a furious scowl on his face.

"What's going on?" he demanded. Rosaline smirked behind him, with Eddie bouncing around her heels. The sounds of the Montagues hurrying up the stairs reached the air, and soon the entire household was watching.

"Where are you going?" asked Claudio angrily.

"My hotel" responded Lady Capulet "Juliet's coming to live with me"

Claudio turned to look at Juliet, who's mouth was still hanging open. She shook her head quickly at him, and then Claudio turned back to Lady Capulet.

"You can't just barge in here, and take Juliet with you. You'll have to speak to Escalus first"

"Screw Escalus! This is about us escaping Egues!"

"Oi!" yelled Tybalt "Uncle Egues is well cool!"

Rosaline suppressed a laugh, thinking about the video Tybalt had shown her after dinner.

"She can't leave our family. She's a Capulet. And us Capulets, we stick together. We're loyal. We don't simply ditch our husbands because they're old! Right, Rosaline?"

"Right" nodded Rosaline.

"I don't believe this" Lady Capulet shook her head "She's my daughter!"

"No. She's a Capulet" snarled Tybalt "It was Angelica, also known as, 'The Nurse,' who brought her up! Now get out, and go and moisturize your face or something"


	54. Obsessed

Oreoskidz - Good good! How's the picture coming along? Were my descriptions any good?

A - Indeed...I have a good chapter with Tybalt and Rosaline coming that you'll like.

Warning: Beatrix is being very annoying in this chapter, and starts banging on about Justin Bieber. If she was real I could kill her...

* * *

Hermia and the Montagues left the house that morning in a hurry, glad to get away from Eugene. He himself had left for work a couple of minutes before. Even though the house was empty, it still bare his essense of misery and doom.

"I hate that house. It's so old and boring, and dry. I can't breathe without getting dust trapped up my nostrils. And I tried to play some Justin Bieber, but Eugene just came and yelled at me to turn it off. How can he hate Justin Bieber? He's so amazing, he's got more talent than Madonna or Elvis Presley, or Lady Gaga, or Christina Aguilera, or even Michael Jackson-"

"Shut up, Beatrix!" chorused the other four.

"Please, Beatrix, just stop this obsession. It's scary" pleaded Benvolio. He rubbed his hazel eyes. They had bags under.

"I'm not obsessed. You're obsessed with Spock and Captain Kirk and Darth Vader"

"No, I'm not. I happen to like science fiction films and TV shows. I don't talk about it all the time, compare it to everyday situations, put posters up all over my room, write how much I love them all over my school books and bits of paper, possess any t-shirts bearing the logos or images as such, and I most certainly don't kiss all the posters all over my room before I go to bed!" Benvolio argued back.

"I don't do that!" Beatrix yelled.

"Yes, you do" added Romeo.

"No, I don't!"

"And we say, yes you do!" Romeo and Benvolio both shouted.

"Children, be quiet!" commanded Mercutio "Beatrix, you are obsessed. Face it"

"No, I'm-"

"Ssssh" said Hermia, putting a finger over her lips "Some of us are tired"

"Didn't you get any sleep last night?" asked Mercutio "I was out like a light"

"Yeah, and you were talking in your sleep. Again" groaned Benvolio.

"What did I say?"

"No wait, let me guess. Something to do with sex" interrupted Romeo.

"Yes, in fact. And he was hugging me!"

"Oh, Mercutio! Honestly!" sighed Romeo.

"I can't control myself when I'm asleep! It's an involuntary action"

"Yes, Mercutio" muttered Benvolio.

"So where did you go after I was talking and hugging you to death?"

"To talk to Hermy-wa"

"About what?" pressed Romeo.

"That little prima donna Gabriel and how he spends more time on his hair than Rosaline. If, that is possible" replied Hermia.

"And you talked all night? About Gabriel?" scoffed Mercutio.

"Not just about Gabriel. About how much we hate Tybalt, and how Verona would be so much better without him and Rosaline in it. Oh, and about how boys are much better friends than girls, our favourite chocolates, Benvolio's love of toffee, how great it's going to be now that the silly mouse has left, our favourite sweets, last Friday night's party, and about what we're going to do in the next five days. Just think, by the time it's the weekend, you guys will be gone, and I'll be stuck with grumpy Eugene!"

"Fun" muttered Romeo.

"And also, we came up with some strategies to get Romeo and Juliet out of trouble"

"Perfect!" beamed Romeo "What are they?"

"We've got to find where Mr. Camera Man has put all his recordings" said Hermia "And, I noticed that they only film using those kind of CCTV cameras at night. Mr. Camera Man goes to bed. So, at night, when we've found out where all the recordings are, we're all going to get up, get the bits of tape with Romeo saying he loves Juliet on and burn them"

"Cool. What about Eugene?" asked Romeo "You said he might ask Juliet for more information"

"Well, today, We'll distract Tybalt, and then you can grab her for some private time and talk to her. Explain what happened, and say that we're going to cover it up. Tell her to deny everything. When Eugene starts on at you again, you just say you were still drunk and last night someone had spiked your drink anyway so you were having delusions. Done"


	55. What Next?

Magenta - Oh, it was terrible. My fingers burnt with anger as I betrayed my beloved Madonna and Lady Gaga. Most of my reviewers seem to hate Beatrix, and I'm glad you thought the moisturize your face bit was funny. I wasn't sure how to characterize Lady Capulet, but I'm quite happy with how she turned out.

Oreoskidz - Yay! I'm so glad the picture is coming along ok. Thanks for making it and good luck with finding a brown pencil.

A - Haha! Beatrix is going down, I have loads of reviewers wanting to cause her harm...

After the aftermath of Lady Capulet attempting to whisk Juliet away, what will happen? And what of her and Romeo's future?

* * *

Juliet was quiet the next morning, despite Tybalt's attempts to cheer her up. He offered to fetch her fish and chips at lunch break when they got to school. Rosaline offered to do her hair and make-up for her in another attempt to cheer her up, but she said she didn't feel like it. Paulina looked over her sympathetically at the breakfast table.

Finally, Rosaline slammed down her spoon.

"Why are you so upset? Your mother is a self-absorbed cow. You've got your dad all to yourself now"

Juliet glared at her "So says another self-absorbed cow"

"Ladies" said Tybalt.

"And anyway, she's not a cow. Hermia calls her a silly mouse" added Juliet.

"To Hermia, she is. Hermia scares the life out of her" answered Rosaline.

"Probably the only thing I actually liked about the bastard" muttered Tybalt.

"Don't call Hermia a bastard, you're as bad the woman you're calling a self-absorbed cow" snapped Juliet. She rolled her eyes and went back to eating her cereal.

"It's twenty to eight. Should we get going? We won't make the train at this rate" said Rosaline.

"I should have brought my car" said Tybalt.

"You mean, the Chav Wagon?" said Juliet, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"It's a Vauxhall Nova, not a Chav Wagon or whatever Hermia calls it!"

"I hope your mum hasn't let any of your mates drive off in it" Rosaline said, as she bent to lace up her heels.

"No. I suppose after school I could nip back and check on her, and get the car. Is that all right with you, Lady Montague?" asked Tybalt.

"That's fine. Just make sure you're back about five or so. And you can call me Paulina"

"Ok. Thanks"

They sorted their books, and after saying goodbye to Paulina, they headed in the direction of the station. They caught sight of Hermia and the four Montagues.

"Oh, yuck. How much shorter could Hermia's skirt be?" groaned Tybalt.

"Shut up" said Juliet "You two can get the train and make out or whatever you like doing together. I'm going to say hello to them"

"Do whatever you want" said Tybalt, with a roll of his eyes. He and Rosaline walked through the door of the station and disappeared from view. Juliet turned to the five.

"How's it going at yours?"

"Oh. Yeah. Good" replied Romeo.

"We got Eugene drunk and dancing" sniggered Mercutio.

"Me and Tybalt saw the video" said Juliet. Hermia was giggling at the memory, so Juliet turned to her half-sister "So he let you come home?"

"Yeah, he came around on Monday and said I could come back. So, I thought it might be a laugh. Hanging around with Montagues all week"

Another silence filled the air.

"How's it been at the Montagues?" asked Beatrix.

"Better. Tybalt's calmed down and is saying 'please' and 'thank you' and has smiled at least ten times so far"

"Are you sure it wasn't just Gabriel who hit his head?" asked Mercutio.

"Did he really crack his head open? Some people are going around telling everyone that you could see his brain" said Benvolio.

"No, he just cut it. We saw him Saturday night, after the party. He's been discharged from hospital. He probably won't be in school though. Knowing him, he'll have Angelo serving him cold drinks whilst he sits with his feet up, watching the telly" replied Juliet.

"Yeah, probably" muttered Hermia "Anyway, now that Tybalt has gone, Romeo has something he needs to tell you about Eugene, so us lot are going to go and hug Tybalt and distract him, so you can have some alone time. There's no one over in that corner behind the ticket machine, so...see ya!"

Juliet turned to look at Romeo, confused, but he hurried her over to the ticket barrier.

"What is it?" asked Juliet.

"It's Eugene. I told him"

"Told him what?"

"About us!"

Juliet's eyes went as round as saucers "What did he do?"

"Nothing. He didn't believe me"

Juliet sighed of relief.

"Only, I got filmed telling him"

"You idiot! Now what? What are we going to do? The whole of Verona is going to see it, and find out, and then they're disapprove, and then they'll..."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just...he was being really nice to me, and I thought, while he's in a good mood. The previous night I'd been talking to Lysander – you know, Hermia's boyfriend, about how Eugene would hate any of yours and her boyfriend's, and so neither of us could hide forever. And we can't! If we want this to work, we've got to go public soon"

Juliet chewed her lip "I know that"

"But if you aren't happy with everyone knowing yet, then Hermia has a plan to get the tapes, destroy them before anyone finds out, and as Eugene didn't believe me, we can say I was drunk and someone had spiked my drink before so I was having delusions"

"No" Juliet heard herself saying "Let them see it!"

Romeo almost couldn't believe his ears.

"What?"

"You were right" said Juliet "The time is right, and the time is now. We might never get another chance like this again. I think maybe...not all of Verona won't disapprove"

"Like who?"

"Well. My Nurse is always on my side. Hermia thinks it's cool. And Benvolio and Mercutio were cool with it. Kind of, anyway. And Friar Lawrence wants peace. And most my friends want peace, so they'd be happy with us being together. And your parents like me. Hell, your mum even said I was the sort of girl she'd want you to bring home!"

"Seriously? She said that?"

"Yeah! When she was showing me all your baby photos"

Romeo rolled his eyes fondly.

"The only obstacle I can think of is Tybalt" said Juliet "And even he has calmed down"

"What are we waiting for? Let's go and make out...in public!"

"Wait, wait. Not yet. Tybalt may have calmed down, but he's still a bit fiery after what happened last night"

Romeo groaned "What happened last night? Rosaline finally smacked him for snoring like a jackhammer?"

"I wish!" muttered Juliet "My mum showed up"

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Her. She walked out Saturday night"

"I know. She's taken his card and has checked into a hotel. And she's been transferring his money into a bank account for ages now. She wanted me to go with her. I was ready to go, until she called Hermia a bastard again"

"Bitch" breathed Romeo.

"Yep" agreed Juliet.

"When did she leave?"

"Tybalt threw her out. He told her to go and moisturize her face, and then your dad showed her to the door. And like that, she was gone. So when I go home, it will just be me, him, and Hermia. I suppose though, it won't exactly be quiet. Not if Hermia's home again and she has that karaoke machine"

"You've swapped a mum for a half-sister!"

Romeo was relieved when she giggled at his joke. He was about to hug her, or hold her hand, but they were distracted by the whoosh of the train rushing into the station. They hurried across the platform and leapt onto the last open door together, still laughing. Tybalt was sitting with Rosaline, and Hermia was leaning over the back of his chair singing something irritating, because Tybalt had his hands clutched over his ears.

"Shut up! I defended you last night"

"I don't need defending from a mouse" Hermia bragged loudly.

"She's the one who told Uncle Egues to kick you out. Everyone says it was us, but it was her" Rosaline chided.

"Yeah, I'm home now. So who cares?"

"Is there any room for a little one?" asked Romeo, standing in front of Tybalt and Rosaline.

"Go away, Romeo, I don't want to look at you. Go and sit with Mercutio and Benvolio and the Twitard. They're over there. And take Hermia with you! Juliet, where've you been?" asked Tybalt.

"Getting a snack from the kiosk" replied Juliet "As you can see, I've already eaten it"

"I was tying up my shoelace" said Romeo.

"We'll see you later" said Hermia, leading Romeo away to sit with the other three.


	56. Coming Out

Magenta - Yeah, I thought I needed some more Romeo/Juliet, as I'd been spending too much time on Hermia/Benvolio and Tybalt/Rosaline. I wish Hermia was really in the play too. But, she is in 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' and that does give me an idea for a sequel...

A - Yeah...Tybalt has smiled! Who'd have known such a phenomen was possible...

Oreoskidz - I loved the picture! They looked great, and I loved the pose. It was totally in character for them. I want another one now! He he.

With Romeo and Juliet ready to declare their love for another, what are the other Montagues planning on doing? Also, we find out what exactly happened when Tybalt got chucked in the fountain.

* * *

Hermia and the rest of the Montagues leaned in like vultures.

"What did she say?" hissed Hermia.

"She said we should just leave it" replied Romeo "It's time to come out!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. We'll never get another opportunity like this to do so. And when it gets aired...what if people don't disapprove and get mad? What if they sympathize? What if they think we're the way forwards to peace?"

The group was silenced.

"Maybe" said Benvolio.

"So I guess our plan to get the tapes can go in the bin" said Mercutio "Now what?"

"How about a nice wind-up prank on Eugene?" suggested Hermia.

"No. If we want peace, we want him to like us. Let's just show him what lovely young people we are. He liked us when we threw that party! We could talk about our career plans and impress him like that" said Romeo.

"Or we could just get him drunk again" added Mercutio.

Beatrix sniggered "That Youtube video now has a thousand hits. I checked it this morning. It's going to go viral. I know it"

"I wonder what all his work colleagues will say" snorted Benvolio "No, no! I wonder what Uncle Claudio will say!"

They all sniggered and laughed again.

"Damn I wish I'd been there" muttered Beatrix.

"Well, we still have four and a bit days to cause absolute chaos" noted Mercutio.

"No. He will hate us" said Romeo firmly.

"How about...some karaoke?" asked Hermia "I've got all the Singstar stuff! Mercutio, we could do 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!'"

"Yeah! And then we could do 'Material Girl!'"

"Oh god, you two!" sighed Romeo, banging his head on the table.

"No, let's do Justin Bieber!"

"Shut up, Beatrix!"

"No, let her do Justin Bieber. I mean, Lord Capulet said he didn't want any Justin Bieber fans in his house. What could be worse than her singing 'Baby' at him?" said Hermia.

"Us joining in?" suggested Mercutio.

"No, we should not do karaoke" said Romeo firmly "We want to get on his good side. And that won't happen if we're singing 'Baby' and 'Material Girl' Let's show him how amazingly amazing us Montagues can be!"

"But it's no fun! And we want to show Beatrix how we piss him off!" whined Mercutio.

"She can watch the program when it comes out on Saturday" said Romeo, even more firmly.

"I want to piss off Eugene!" insisted Beatrix.

"You could do that without karaoke" scolded Benvolio "You only have to breathe and he'll get angry!"

"True" Hermia shrugged "You know, I still can't believe the experiment is nearly over. It seemed liked yesterday you guys turned up on Lysander's door step, after arguing with Eugene and needing survival tips"

"It seems like yesterday since we chucked Tybalt in the fountain" added Mercutio.

"Why did you chuck him in the fountain, anyway?"

"He was being homophobic" explained Romeo "He was saying the usual, you know, 'Oh, you and Mercutio are boyfriends! And you invite Benvolio round for threesomes!' So we made demented kitty cat noises at him and called him a ginger tom cat. And Mercutio said he was delusional for saying that his hair was strawberry blonde, not ginger. Because he is ginger, isn't he? Most the Capulets are ginger! Or blonde"

"And you Montagues are dark and sexy" said Mercutio "Oh, apart from Beatrix, who's a peroxide blonde"

"Shut up" said Beatrix.

"After that, he attacked us and went straight for Mercutio. So, Mercutio just caught him under the arms, took three paces forward with me helping to shove and threw him in the fountain, and then Benvolio splashed him for good measure. And all these people came round, and the Watch – you know, that stupid peace charity – were yelling at us, and then they took us all to Escalus"

"He had it coming" said Hermia "I wish I'd been there. I'd have held his head under!"

"Yes, and then there wouldn't be an experiment, they'd be a murder trial!" joked Mercutio.

"I can't wait to watch the experiment on Saturday night" said Hermia "I want to see what Tybalt, Juliet and Rosaline actually got up to! I know I've come back home, but I haven't actually been able to talk to Juliet yet"

"You two are really close, aren't you?" said Romeo "Juliet often talks about you when you're not around, and you talk about her when she's not around"

"Yeah, well, we're like twins, really. We were born around the same time, because of when my dad was cheating. Hey, I remember the nurse telling me all about what the silly mouse did when Eugene came home with a baby one day!"

"Faint?" suggested Mercutio.

"Close to it"

"If I'd been her, I'd have left back then. Not drag it out over fifteen or so years!" said Romeo.

"Yeah, well, she's a silly mouse!"


	57. Engagement

Magenta - I love Madonna, she's my absolute favourite. My favourite of her songs are 'Like A Prayer' and 'Deeper And Deeper' Justin Bieber drives me nuts too, and I hate those girls wearing those 'I 3 Bieber' shirts. My cousin is on of them (Bleargh)

A - I think Bieber has some more, but I wouldn't know as I try not to listen to them! Anyway, I think you'll like this chapter...

With the Montagues and Hermia intend on causing mayhem with a karaoke session, Tybalt has something he wants to ask.

* * *

"You know what I was thinking?" said Tybalt, flipping through one of Paulina's magazines. Goodness knows why Tybalt was reading a woman's magazine, but then again, Tybalt had been acting very differently lately.

"Oh, yeah? What was that?" asked Juliet, peering over her homework.

"Since it's our last week and that" Tybalt went on.

"What?" asked Rosaline herself, sitting up from her notes. Claudio and Paulina looked over from where they had been sitting on the sofa.

"We should do something special" finished Tybalt.

"Like what?" asked Paulina.

"I don't know" shrugged Tybalt "Cook something? That's what mum does whenever something nice happens. It's usually 'Sausage Surprise!' followed up by 'Cat Cake' and then we play a board game like Monopoly or Scrabble. I always cheat though"

"Sounds like a good idea. What do you think, Paulina?" asked Claudio.

"Yep. That sounds good to me" agreed Paulina "What do you want to do?"

"How long of Friday evening will we have here?" asked Juliet.

"Probably until before we usually have dinner. Then you'd have been here for a full fortnight. It'll be weird having our own teenager back here to boss about. It's what we were saying about last night" said Paulina.

"It will be weird when I go back home" said Juliet "It will be just me, Hermia and dad. I don't know where mum is. I don't know if I want to know, or if she'll try and drag me along with her"

"Don't go looking for her. Stay with Uncle Egues" commanded Tybalt "You're part of this family. You're a Capulet, first and foremost"

"Yes, Tybalt" droned Juliet.

"Well, what am I then?" asked Rosaline "I'm her niece. I'm an Oftmoro too!"

"No, you are my future wife"

"What?" asked Rosaline, dumping down her notes in shock.

"I was going to ask you some other time. At the end of Sixth Form, that prom thing you were going to make me go to maybe, or out at dinner, but I may as well ask you now. Do you want to marry me?"

Juliet laughed, thinking he was joking. The Montagues turned and looked at Tybalt. His stone grey eyes were fixed on Rosaline, who was between a laugh and a lecture. From the look on his face, it suddenly dawned on Juliet that he was being deadly serious.

"You're kidding me!" teased Rosaline.

"I'm not" Tybalt put down the magazine "I seriously am not! I want you to be a part of my family, rather than just Juliet's cousin from her mother's side of the family"

"But we're seventeen and eighteen!"

"And?" Tybalt shrugged "It's legal as long as your parents give you permission. Just get Angelo to do it. He won't mind"

Rosaline laughed again "Are you being serious?"

"Yes! I am serious. I wouldn't joke about marrying someone. Will you marry me or not?"

"Yes!" said Rosaline. They both got up and hugged in the middle of the front room.

Juliet and the Montagues watched them bemused.

"How long have you two known each other?" asked Claudio.

"All our lives. We actually got engaged at six" said Rosaline "I said yes then. And I'm saying yes now!"

"So you've been engaged for eleven years" Juliet noted "Can I be a bridesmaid?"

"Yep" said Tybalt.

"We should ring your mum. She'll probably start dancing around your house humming the wedding march" said Rosaline, pulling away from him for some fresh air.

"How long have you been together?" asked Paulina.

"Well, a couple of months officially, but to me it seems like forever" replied Rosaline "Tibby, I'll need to get a dress, and the cake! We should have a great big massive cake in a massive tower, and we could have swans around the church. We'll get married at St. Peter's, where Friar Lawrence is. That's where we were both christened. It's where everything like that happens"

"When do you want to get married?" asked Tybalt.

"Perhaps after Sixth Form, before university. You'll have to come with me then. I suppose I could always hide you in my dormitory room. And until then, maybe your mum will put us up. I can't stay with my mum if a certain bitchy aunty wants to move in with us"

"Mum would love us to stay with her. You know what she's like. Which reminds me. She's going to wear _that_ _outfit_ to the wedding, isn't she?"

"Yes" said Rosaline with dread.

"Good, because then you and Juliet can talk her out of it, and take her to buy a new one"

"Why us?" protested Juliet and Rosaline.

"Because you're girls! And Rosaline, you're great with clothes and stuff, and you know what will suit her"

"I know a nice department store that does good outfits for weddings" interrupted Paulina.

"Good. You can take her. You lot, you're all invited too" said Tybalt, pointing at the Montagues.


	58. Romeo's New Plan

A - I thought you would! Wonder what kind of dress Rosaline will have...Also, if I write a sequel, should it have Tybalt and Rosaline's wedding in or something?

Oreoskidz - Awww indeed. Bounce bounce! My little sister thought the picture of Hermia and Benvolio was adorable. I read her my stories before she goes to bed, you see :)

After Tybalt and Rosaline get engaged, Hermia and the Montagues (They should start a band with that name. Hermia could sing, Mercutio could do back up vocals, Romeo could play guitar, Benvolio could play keyboard and Beatrix could play the triangle!) decide to start their karaoke and annoy Lord Capulet. But Romeo has a plan...

* * *

"You four are awful" stated Romeo, as he watched Mercutio, Hermia, Benvolio and Beatrix set up the Singstar karaoke machine on the TV.

"Oh well" said Hermia, selecting the duet option. Mercutio held one microphone, and Beatrix was holding one for Hermia.

"What song shall we sing, Hermy-wa?" asked Mercutio.

"'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun'" replied Hermia. She selected the song, and it began to load. She and Mercutio giggled as the music began. She took a deep breath, and then began "I come home! In the morning light. My mother says when you gonna live your life right. Oh mama dear, we're not the fortunate ones. And girls just wanna have fun"

"The phone rings. In the middle of the night. My father yells what you gonna do with your life. Oh daddy dear, you know you're still number one. But girls, they wanna have fun. Oh girls just wanna have fun!" sang Mercutio.

"When the work and day is done, oh girls, they wanna have fun" chorused the pair.

Beatrix and Benvolio watched this show, cracking up. Romeo, however, had a bright idea.

"I'm going to tell on you!" he chided, before running off up the stairs to Eugene's study. He banged on the door.

"What do you want!" snapped Lord Capulet.

"Hermia and Mercutio are doing karaoke and making loads of noise and making a mess and distracting me while I'm trying to do my homework" Romeo whined.

Lord Capulet growled "I have a good mind to throw that girl out again! And you, you and your little buddies will only be here for another four days. This will all be over soon. Where are they?"

"They're in the living room" said Romeo.

Lord Capulet got up, and stormed down the stairs, to where Mercutio and Hermia were cracking up as they listened to the playback of their song.

"Give me that! I want to 'Baby!'" insisted Beatrix.

"No, let's make Benvolio do some Britney!" instructed Mercutio.

"Oh, hell no! I cannot sing!" yelled Benvolio.

"No, no, let's do Lady Gaga! Eugene hates Lady Gaga! Please, can we do 'Poker Face' or 'Just Dance' or something!" begged Hermia.

"That's enough!" snapped Lord Capulet, wading into the group of teenagers "Turn that machine off! There will be no karaoke in my house!"

"Oh, but Eugene..." whined Mercutio.

"My name is Egues! And you will refer to me as Lord Capulet, or else!" snarled Lord Capulet.

"Or else what? You keep saying that – but you don't do anything" taunted Mercutio.

"Or else I'll...kick you out!"

"Oh, really?" said Hermia, an eyebrow raised "You do know Escalus will come round and you'll get in trouble, don't you?"

"What's he going to do? Tell me off? I'm so frightened" snapped Lord Capulet sarcastically "I will do what I want! He can't stop me. He can't stop anyone"

"Oooh, I'm going to tell him!" sang Mercutio "No, wait. I'm not going to tell him. I'm going to wait until he's watching Child Swap on the telly and laugh at the bit where you start mouthing off!"

"I can't wait to see what Tybalt got up too, actually! I want to see when Gabriel cuts his head open so we can laugh at him! So gross" said Hermia.

"No, I want to see when Tybalt smashes up the tree. I heard he'd done it off of Juliet's friend's boyfriend's friend's sister" said Beatrix.

"Tybalt did what?" asked Romeo.

"Smashed a tree up!" laughed Beatrix "Apparently, he was sexting Rosaline in a church, Aunty Paulina caught him, they went home, Uncle Claudio was telling him off, confiscated his mobile and Tybalt got so mad he went in the garden and smashed up a tree!"

"Ha!" said Hermia.

"That boy has anger management issues" sniggered Mercutio "What shall we sing now? I want to do 'Oops! I Did It Again!'"

"No! No more karaoke!" yelled Lord Capulet.

"What did he say?" asked Hermia "More karaoke? Ok then!"

"No. More. Karaoke!" screamed Lord Capulet.

"More!" asked Mercutio "Here we go! I think it did it again. I made you believe. We're more than just friends. Oh baby. It might seem like a crush. But it doesn't mean. That I'm serious. 'cause to loose all my senses. That is just so typically me. Oh baby, baby...OOPS! I did it again! I played with your heart! Got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby...OOPS! You think I'm in love. That I'm sent from above...I'm not that innocent!"

"Pack it in!" roared Lord Capulet.

"Mercutio! Stop it. At once!" yelled Romeo. Mercutio dropped the microphone and turned to look at his friend in shock.

"Thank you" snarled Lord Capulet "At least someone in this house is civilised"

"What did you do that for?" demanded Hermia, rounding on Romeo. Romeo simply winked.


	59. Le Francais

Magenta - Thank you. Shortly after reading the play, I came across a Sims 2 Youtube video series about Veronaville in which there was a Rosaline who was a slutty bitch cheating on Romeo with Tybalt, and I just thought...PERFECT! I always imagine Tybalt/Rosaline now!

A - So would I! I can imagine them all singing a rude song about Tybalt together and all the Capulets just watching and getting madder and madder and not being able to do anything about it!

Now that Tybalt and Rosaline are engaged, there comes the question of what they want to do after they get hitched.

* * *

Tybalt's car roared along the motor way. The thing was old and battered and probably about to break down any second now, but Tybalt was quite fond of the machine. He liked driving, feeling the grip of the wheel in his hands, and watching the world whiz past. It helped him feel in control, especially when his mum was bad and the Montagues were getting to him.

Rosaline, on the contrary, hated Tybalt's car. It stunk of cigarettes and sweaty chavs. The engine was noisy and annoying, and it drove her nuts. Currently, she was flipping through a magazine, looking at wedding dresses. And she already wore a ring. According to Tybalt, he'd had had it for months, he was just waiting for the right moment to give it to her. It had a big diamond. Trust Tybalt to remember Rosaline's love of big flashy diamonds.

"The others will wonder why we're not on the train" said Juliet, reading bits of the magazine over Rosaline's shoulder.

"Well, at least I don't have to spend another train ride in Romeo's company" said Tybalt, casually switching gear on the car.

"Why are you being so nice to Paulina and Claudio, but still hate Romeo and the others?"

"Because Paulina and Claudio have learnt to show me some respect, and actually proven themselves to be...kind of nice. However, Romeo, Mercutio, Benvolio and his idiot sister are still are bunch of retards"

"Well, say if you had to live with Romeo, Mercutio, Benvolio and his idiot sister for a fortnight in a house together, would you realise that they are nice people as well?"

"No, because they aren't!" snapped Tybalt "End of"

Juliet stuck her tongue out at him, so Tybalt stuck up his middle finger at her.

"I'm prepared to call truce with the Montagues" said Juliet bravely "I'm prepared to call truce, with all of them. Even the Twitard"

"Oooh, Juliet, you've gone and done it now" tittered Rosaline.

Tybalt simply rolled his eyes "She's young and naive. I'm prepared to tolerate and be polite to the adult Montagues. However, I am not going to rush up to Romeo and beg to be his best friend. He and Mercutio threw me in a fountain, for goodness sake! People pee in that"

"No, they don't!" scorned Juliet "It always looks clean"

"Yeah, they do, because I've peed in before"

"Ha!" chortled Juliet, whilst Tybalt flushed when he realised what he'd admitted.

Rosaline groaned "Tibby! You seriously think I'm going to marry you after you've admitted to that?"

"I was drunk!" argued Tybalt "Juliet, you're a brat"

"Tybalt, you're a-"

"Enough" said Rosaline firmly "Let's quit talking about the Montagues. It just makes us argue. Paulina and Claudio are nice, yes, but their children are horrid"

"But you, I mean we, don't even know them! I mean, Tybalt, you like...bacon sandwiches. Well, Romeo might also like bacon sandwiches" explained Juliet.

"Everybody likes bacon sandwiches" grumbled Tybalt.

"Vegetarians don't" corrected Rosaline.

"Then those vegetarians don't know what they're missing" swarmed Tybalt.

"Tell that to Gabriel. He's a vegetarian. He'll put you straight" muttered Rosaline.

"Is he back at school yet?" asked Juliet.

"No. I ought to text Angelo, and ask how he's doing. I bet Angelo's exhausted from running after his petty little demands"

"He must be enjoying having the time off school" said Tybalt.

"Probably. He hates his class, and his class hate him!"

"Oh, I wonder why" muttered Tybalt "So...seen any dresses you like yet?"

"I can't show you!"

"Show me" said Juliet, leaning over. Rosaline pointed to a couple.

"Where do you want to live after we're married?" asked Tybalt.

"The university campus" replied Rosaline "And then we'll buy a place"

"How about France?" asked Tybalt.

"France? Why France?"

"I don't know, I just thought it would be nice if we had a fresh start and met some new people. I'm sick of the sight of Verona. And anyway, my grandparents have said to me I could go and help them on their farm after A Levels if I've got nothing else to do"

"I am not living on a smelly old farm full of cow shit" snapped Rosaline.

"I didn't say you had to! And anyway, it's not like I'm going to take them up on it. I'm going to work in the music store first. I thought you'd like France. You know...Paris, all the fashion, all that glamour"

"What's wrong with Milan? It's nearer"

"We wouldn't know anyone in Milan! And we can't afford to do a big move and make out on our own!"

"Just ask Uncle Egues for some money then!"

"We can't just keep asking him for money! He says it's dead cheeky. Just the other day - well, about a month ago really, I asked Uncle Egues for some money to get mum a new toaster because she'd broken it again, and he went on a rant at me about how I was eighteen, had a job, should be concentrating at school and standing on my own two feet. In France, we'll have a house, a bit of money that he'd give me anyway, and it would be like a starting point. And anyway, France is nice. I can speak the language, you did some at GCSE, it'll be all right"

"Sure, we'll have a house...in a smelly farm in the middle of nowhere! I would have to drive for miles to get to university or work, and I can't even speak French that well, I've forgotten it all!"

"I'll teach you then! And it's so easy"

"No it isn't!"

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't! Why do you think I made you, yeah, you, a native French kid, help me with all my coursework, knowing that you'd just cheated on all your subjects! Probably the only reason why I passed"

"Then I'll just help you learn it again! And you don't have to learn it right away, I can translate for you and stuff"

"Yeah, all I'll learn from you is the swearwords. You don't say anything else"

"You two are like an old married couple already!" teased Juliet.


	60. Sneaking In The Storeroom

A - Lol, they could dedicate us a song!

NessaT123 - Thank you!

So, Hermia and Benvolio decide they need a little 'private time' together and sneak into the school cupboard where they discuss Romeo's plan, Eugene, the feud and the likes.

* * *

"In here" giggled Hermia, dragging Benvolio into a storeroom and slamming the door. She kissed him and pulled him closer to her. Benvolio inhaled deeply, savouring the scent of her perfume and shampoo. Girls smelt so pretty.

"What do you think of Romeo's plan?" asked Benvolio, after they'd kissed for five minutes.

"I think he's mad, but I suppose it might work. It means we still get to be naughty and torment Eugene, and it'll only be him missing out on all the fun"

Benvolio sniggered, and let her take his tie off. Hermia tossed it to the ground carelessly.

"We're going to be in so much trouble if the caretaker comes in and finds us or something!"

"No one ever comes in here. I used to come in here with Ly- I mean, other boys, before, and no one ever caught us. The caretaker is probably chasing invading chavs from that pikey school next to the estate off the front lawn"

Benvolio laughed again, and kissed Hermia, all the while thinking he was a lot more like Romeo than he had originally thought. Romeo himself was somewhere in the library, brushing up on his knowledge of golf and the eighties to impress Lord Capulet, and Mercutio was dancing around the Sixth Form common room to make his other friend Charles laugh. Beatrix was with her stupid equally dipsy and dumb Twilight and Justin Bieber obsessed friends. There was nothing Benvolio hated more than when Beatrix invited them around. All they did was talk about make-up, boys, lousy pop acts and shallow TV shows about stereotypical teenagers going through 'tough times' He thought all girls where like that, and agreed with Mercutio when he said that love was a pile of junk and that girls were stupid.

Until he met Rose. He believed that he'd finally met a girl who was popular but unique and true to herself. Benvolio thought that when they used to sit and talk for hours that it meant something. But that changed when Gabriel liked the look of her as well and stole her from him. Instead of doing a Romeo and just moping about all the time, he reverted his opinions of girls back to agreeing with Mercutio.

Until he met Hermia. Now she was unique and true to herself. She was bright, bold, funky, and beautiful. He'd known her (who didn't?) but he hadn't really got to know her until late. She'd always called him cute and said he was sweet. That week they'd spent together they had bonded instantly, as they finally got to sit down and talk. Now that definitely meant something. They had so much in common. They'd both lost their mothers, and both of them knew what it was like to feel like second best to the remaining parent and they'd both been bullied by Tybalt. And on Saturday night, after Lysander left, they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They'd fallen asleep in each other's arms – how sweet was that?

"Do you ever think the feud will end?" asked Benvolio.

"Yes" replied Hermia "But not until we're adults"

"Why's that?" asked Benvolio.

"Because by then, Eugene and your Uncle will be dead or going crackers in an old people's home, and Romeo and Juliet will be in charge. Tybalt would have left for France by then so he wouldn't be able to stop them calling a truce and getting together. And then we can do what we want"

"Oh" said Benvolio.

"But I think the experiment might speed things up a little" Hermia added hopefully "And if not, who cares about Eugene? He doesn't own me. I'll do what I want. I'm not like his silly mouse of an ex wife"

"If he ever kicks you out again" murmured Benvolio, stroking her red hair "You can come and stay with me. You can have my bed, and I'll sleep on my armchair and a bunch of cushions or something"

"Nah, I'd like you to share with me and keep me warm. You can be my hot water bottle. But I don't think he'll kick me out again. It was the mouse who got him to kick me out, with some help from Tybalt and Rosaline. I get the feeling that they were joking, but she must have been cooking up a bunch of evil plans"

"Don't you dye your hair pink again either" insisted Benvolio "I like it red"

"You're so sweet" Hermia wrapped him around her again, and they kissed. Hermia threw off her own tie, and then pulled Benvolio's blazer off of him. The clock on the wall showed that they still had fifteen minutes to themselves.

Another five minutes later, they broke apart for some air.

"Are you going to sleep in my bed tonight?" asked Hermia.

"Yes" replied Benvolio "You're a lot cosier than Mercutio the Octopus. I can't believe I still have to share with him!"

"I'd get you another room, but Eugene isn't in the right mood to accommodate your Montague needs"

"What would Eugene do if he found out about this?"

"Same thing he'd do if he found out about Romeo and Juliet. Hit the roof! Or deny it. But I guess you mean if he came in my room and found you in bed with me?"

"Yeah. That"

"Well, then he'd definitely hit the roof. And kick me out. Or say I just wanted a Montague to be my next notch on my bedpost"

"That's not true, though, is it?" asked Benvolio worriedly.

"Don't be stupid. I wouldn't lead you on like that. Yes, I like boys and I like to put it about a bit, but I wouldn't lead anyone on like that to piss somebody else off. I know it's not fair what I'm doing to Lysander, but I like you, I really do. I wouldn't do this if I didn't"

"I understand" said Benvolio. He bent down and kissed her again. Hermia's hand rested gently on his cheek "What are we doing tonight?"

"Tonight? Well, Mercutio says we ought to go in the room with all of my ex step-mum's stuff, get it all out, dress up, and then we should go on the rampage around Verona!"


	61. The Power Of Computers

Oreoskidz - Go ahead! I loved the first picture. Do you want some descriptions of Tybalt and Rosaline?

Magenta - I know! I didn't expect Hermia and Benvolio to become a couple at first, they just crept up on me. Now I think they are so sweet together.

A - Ha! I even started thinking about band logos and whether or not Tybalt and Rosaline would let them play at the wedding. Probably not!

Lord Capulet feels the wrath of modern technology and the internet today! And the Montagues' glowing opinion of Mercutio starts to fade.

* * *

That evening, the Montagues and Tybalt, Rosaline and Juliet gathered around the television before they went to bed to watch the evening news.

"Any ideas of what you'd like to do before you leave?" asked Paulina.

"We could go out to dinner" suggested Rosaline.

"Or watch a movie" said Juliet.

But they were interrupted by a newsreader.

'_On a lighter note, a Youtube video uploaded by the Prince's nephew, Mercutio, of Lord Capulet drunkenly dancing around at a party, has gone viral. Lord Capulet, who is currently playing host to Mercutio and the children of the Montague family during an experimental swap with said family, is seen here dancing in a provocative manner, and even manages to do a dance move that is somewhat similar to a back flip'_

The room went silent, and the group shared horrified glances at each other.

'_The video was uploaded on late Friday night, early Saturday morning, and took merely four or five days to go viral, and watched around the world. Several of the comments place empathise on the attractiveness of Lord Capulet, one describing him as 'a babe,' whereas others believe that he should be elected as the new Prince of Verona. His behaviour is very unusual, as he is normally well known for his grumpy and quick-tempered demeanour'_

"Oh my God. He'll go nuts!" muttered Tybalt.

'_The party was hosted by his daughter, Hermia, and the Montagues. Having spoken with a guest, it has been confirmed that Romeo had spiked Lord Capulet's drink with vodka in order to lighten him up a little. Well, let's hope Romeo remains handy with the vodka, as I'm sure we'd all love to hear a little more from Lord Capulet's fun side!'_

Claudio turned to his wife "So not only is our son a prank-caller, and a harasser, but he spikes people's drinks! This isn't like our Romeo!"

Tybalt grinned delightedly "No teenager is what you think they are. Most people think people like me are bad, but I'm just more upfront about it. At least I'm honest about what I do"

"He is going to be in some trouble when he gets home" decided Paulina.

Tybalt grinned even more.

"Pack it in, Tybalt" said Juliet "I'm sure it was all just a joke"

The Montagues ignored her, and turned to Tybalt.

"Is there anything else that he's done, that we don't know about?" asked Claudio.

"Oh, he kidnapped my cat and hid it at Mercutio's dad's house for a week until Valentine made them give it back" said Tybalt "And he torments his English teacher. Just ask her yourself about what he did with the screws on her chair, and who put the rude poem on the whiteboard. It was all him. Rumours fly like magic around us teenagers. And then ask yourself this, has your Romeo ever acted like me? Would he?"

"That's enough of the dramatics, Tybalt! You're like Gabriel!" shouted Juliet.

"I think we should" said Paulina, her jaw set defiantly "And if it's Mercutio encouraging him to do so, then I believe we may have to consider whether or not he is a suitable friend for our son"


	62. Drag Queens

Oreoskidz - Cool, here they are. Everyone else, just ignore this! Tybalt has short ginger hair, and stone grey eyes. He usually has a bit of stubble in the mornings and is normally found scowling, unless he is with Rosaline or Juliet. He will often wear tracksuit trousers with a grotty shirt and Nike trainers. Sometimes he wears a Lonsdale hoodie and a Burberry hate with 'bling' around his neck. He is also a stereotypical chav. If you don't know what that is, just go on google images. They're all over Britain (where I live) and they're very aggressive. I based his appearance on Robert Kazinsky, who plays Sean Slater in EastEnders. Hermia and Mercutio have also got it into their heads that he looks like Edward Cullen. As for Rosaline, she is very beautiful, she has lovely long thick blonde hair that comes down between her shoulders and her elbow somewhere. She has baby blue eyes with long lashes and normally wears red lipstick. She wears very posh fancy clothes and has very good taste, and never goes without a pair of heels. She has a great figure with naturally large 'assets' I imagine her looking like a cross between Christina Aguilera and Diana Agron.

A - Me too! It would be so funny! I might even put the band in the story...

This might be the last update until next Wednesday or Thursday, as I am going on holiday to Belgium. So, sorry to disappoint you guys. I might be able to update tomorrow before we leave, but I'm not sure. Perhaps you could use that time to write me a really long lovely review for when I get back!

* * *

Hermia attacked the first box of stuff "Here's her make-up. We'll use that later, when we're all dressed up. Mercutio, have you found her clothes yet?"

"Nope. Here's her ornaments and stuff. Should we smash them?"

"No, we'll flog them on eBay! We could get some quick cash and then we could do something cool with it, like start a band to annoy Eugene"

Mercutio sniggered.

"I've found her clothes!" exclaimed Beatrix "Wow, she did have some good taste"

"And I've found her jewellery" added Benvolio.

"Fantastic! Well done, Beatrix. Finally – you're good for something" said Mercutio.

"Oi!" squealed Beatrix. Hermia, Mercutio and Benvolio dived into the box and pulled out clothes. Mercutio ripped off his jeans with a groan from Beatrix and replaced them with a short red skirt and crocodile skin heels. Hermia snorted.

"I remember when she bought that! It was the day she told me off for hiding in the shirt racks and shouting 'Pick me! Pick me!' at the customers!"

"She sounds almost as crabby as Eugene" said Mercutio, slipping on a lace pink bra. Benvolio was laughing so hard he had to double over and lean on the wall. Beatrix slipped on a black negligee over her clothes and donned a pair of purple boots.

"I always used to love those shoes, and she got really angry at me the time I 'borrowed' them" explained Hermia. She herself was putting on Lady Capulet's favourite white lacy evening dress and a pair of long black velvet gloves. Then she teamed this with black heels and found a bright red bag.

"We look ridiculous! Hurry up, Benvolio, or Eugene will come up and catch us and you'll miss all the fun!"

"Ok!" Benvolio rummaged to the bottom of the box and pulled out a red lace thong. He put it on over his trousers, and then Hermia passed him the matching bra. Then Hermia handed him some red heels and they turned to the box with all her jewellery in. Hermia found a pair of earrings, a sparkly bracelet, and a long pearl necklace to match her dress. Beatrix put on a pair of black onyx earrings and a matching necklace. Mercutio put bangles on all the way up to his elbows, about three necklaces and a load of gaudy matching rings. Benvolio put on a red rose ring to match the underwear and heels, and a gold necklace that Hermia handed him.

"Make up time!" sniggered Mercutio, turning with a red lipstick, brandished like a weapon. Hermia put some on, and then so did Benvolio. Beatrix wore her favourite bright pink, and Mercutio went for some sparkly lip gloss. Hermia put some purple eye shadow on Beatrix to match her shoes, and Mercutio put some green eye shadow on to clash with his outfit. Hermia wore blue eye shadow, and then she put some on Benvolio. When they had finished with the make up (Mercutio looked eerily scary with bright red rouged cheeks) they traipsed downstairs to where Lord Capulet was watching the news with Romeo, absolutely horrified.

"You little brat!"

"You had a fun time! You said we made you feel young again!" protested Romeo.

"I can't trust anyone around here!" growled Lord Capulet.

"Ta da!" announced Mercutio, springing into the light. Lord Capulet gawped in horror.

"What. Have. You. Done?"

"I look like a sexy beast!" Mercutio twirled, and pouted.

"You've gone in my ex wife's boxes of stuff!"

"Yeah, and?" challenged Hermia.

"Well, you can keep them, because they suit you. Cordelia can deal with you herself. Do what you want"

"What?" asked Mercutio.

"You're meant to get mad. And shout" insisted Hermia.

"I'm angrier at this one, for spiking my drink and making me make a fool of myself! And it's on the internet! And everyone has seen it!"

"Sorry" muttered Romeo "But...don't you think it was a really naughty thing for them to do, to steal and then dress up in your ex wife's clothes? And that it was responsible, and sensible, of me, not to join in?"

"They didn't spike my drink!"

"Mercutio filmed you"

"Yes. And Romeo was mature and sensible enough to tolerate your drunken behaviour, whereas I embraced the madness" added Mercutio.

"Shut up. You're all as bad as each other. I can't wait until all of you are out of here!"

"So we all dressed up for nothing" said Beatrix.

"No, we didn't" answered Hermia.

"Yeah, we did, he didn't get pissed off like you said he would!"

"Well, we still haven't paid Tybalt a visit"

"No! I am not letting Tybalt see me like this!" insisted Benvolio "I look like a prostitute!"

"Ok. Go on. Go see Tybalt. I don't care" sighed Lord Capulet "Because you'll all be the ones whose heads get stuffed down toilets"

Benvolio winced.

"He did that to Bennykins once. I'm going to kick him for it" announced Hermia.

"Yes, do that. He'll give you a Chinese burn like he did last time, and you'll run home crying" Lord Capulet said dryly.

"If he touches my Hermy-wa, I will beat him with a stick" threatened Mercutio.

"There aren't any good sticks around my house" added Romeo.

"I will pick one up on the way there"

"Are we going or not?" asked Beatrix.

"Yep. Ok. Let's go!" sang Mercutio, skipping out the door. Lord Capulet ignored them, and then turned to Romeo.

"You can go as well if you like"

"No. It is a very silly thing to do. I think that this experiment has taught me that my behaviour is naughty and I ought to be more responsible and mature"


	63. Bothering Tybalt

Oreoskidz - I know, I got that line of my demon brother! Were my descriptions any helpful?

A - MEGA OUCH! Hope you are ok. Here's a chapter with Tybalt bits in especially for you :)

Magenta - Lady Capulet would go nuts. I suppose that's why Hermia got them all to do it. I bet I'd love that version of the Taming Of The Shrew. I got to read Katharina when we did it in class - I had a lot of fun with that!

So, today, I have managed to sneak in a double update before I go on holiday! Yay! Now, let's see what the four get up too in their drag queen glory.

* * *

Tybalt could hear them before he saw them.

"We're off to see the Tybalt, the horrible Tybalt of cats!"

They appeared to be singing a bizarre adaption of 'The Wizard Of Oz' Tybalt peered out of his bedroom window and saw them in a weird collection of costumes and horrendously applied make up. He recognised the outfits as belonging to his former aunt.

"What do you want?" shouted Tybalt.

"Tybalt! Look how sexy we are!" shrieked Mercutio, doing a twirl.

"Whatever" growled Tybalt, going away from the window. He took a breath, pushed them to the back of his mind, and ignored them. He was about to head out of the room when he heard a ping, and then suddenly he felt a soft silky object hit the back of his neck. He turned, to find a pink lacy bra on the floor "Classy" he muttered. He went back over to the window where the four still stood.

"Thanks a lot for the bra, just what I wanted, but I think it's a bit big for me" yelled Tybalt, throwing it back.

"It's for Rosaline!" shouted Hermia, catching it and pinging it back. Tybalt caught it for the second time, and tossed it back.

"This is too small for Rosaline!" snapped Tybalt "Go home, bastard!"

"At least my parents loved each other, yours just had a shotgun wedding in Vegas since your mum was pregnant with you!"

Tybalt scowled "At least they were married when I was born, and my mum wasn't some extramarital affair!"

"At least my dad stuck around, instead of getting banged up for murdering Benvolio and Beatrix's dad's best friend!"

"And? It was an accident! At least I'm not a contraception failure, and a failed abortion!" shouted Tybalt.

"That's a lie, you drug taking tosser!" Hermia shouted back.

"I don't take drugs!"

"Yes, you do. Why do you think the police raided your house?" asked Mercutio.

"Not this again" grumbled Tybalt "Get your facts right, it was mum's medication they caught me with!"

"Is she a crackpot Tybalt? Has she gone bonkers yet without her little Tibby to keep her company and feed all her manky cats!" taunted Mercutio.

"You stop insulting my mother!"

"Well, stop calling Hermia a bastard then! We only came here to show you our sexy outfits, and then you start calling Hermia nasty names? Poohead"

"Oh, that's really mature, well done Mercutio. Where's Camel-Face?"

"Sucking up to Eugene" said Beatrix "And by the way, you don't look a thing like Robert Pattinson!"

"Eh? Good! I don't want a face shaped like a foot!"

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT THE SACRED GOD ROBERT PATTINSON!"

Benvolio and the group recoiled in horror at Beatrix.

"What on earth is going out in here?" asked Paulina, entering Tybalt's room.

"Your family have turned up and they're flinging bras through the window at me" grumbled Tybalt.

Paulina look out the window at them in their silly outfits "What are you doing?"

"We came to show Tybalt our new clothes" said Mercutio, doing a shimmy.

"Whose are they?"

"Lady Crapulet's!" replied Beatrix, dancing around with the others.

"Much I would love to see this show, I think you ought to go home to Lord Capulet, or you'll be in trouble"

"He doesn't care, he has Romeo to keep him company! He's being all boring, and pretending to be responsible and mature. Yeah, right!" Mercutio declared.

"Ok. Goodbye Mercutio" said Paulina.

"Bye!" shouted the four. Tybalt heard them as they danced off.

"That was no fun!" Hermia complained.

"Well, we'll go and annoy some other people. We'll go and bang on Demetrius' door and show him our outfits, then we'll go and parade around the park. It'll be a laugh!"

Tybalt turned to Paulina "And people wonder why I hate them so much"


	64. Hermia's Own Bargain

I'm back! I had a great holiday and I'm nice and sunburnt! I'm so glad you enjoyed this story, Kiko33, and that I made your flight more fun. And A, I'm glad you're ok! Today we have a short chapter. Whilst I was away, I made some more plans for a potential sequel. What do you think? Shall I leave 'Child Swap' as it is, or expand on a story with Hermia as a main character?

* * *

Before she went to bed, Hermia knocked on the door of Mr. Camera Man's room. As it was late Tuesday evening, there were only two full days left before the end of the experiment, the end of the stay of the Montagues, and the end of the day of filming. But before the end, Hermia had to make sure this last thing was taken care of.

"Hello, Mr. Camera Man" she greeted.

"Hello Miss. Girl I Have To Film" replied Mr. Camera Man.

Hermia laughed "You can call me Hermia. What's your real name anyway?"

"My name is Dave" said Mr. Camera Man.

"Oh, that's nice. Dave. I came to ask you a small favour"

"Indeed?"

"Why yes. I mean, you must be tired and overworked from filming us constantly and such, and a little bird told me that Escalus is paying you absolutely pants for this"

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. And that's where my favour comes into play. You may remember that on Friday night I hosted a party, and ended up in bed with Benvolio?"

"I filmed it"

"Well, yeah, there we go. I have a boyfriend already, you see"

"You're going to be in trouble when the program comes out"

"Not unless you help me out"

"By doing what?"

"Well" said Hermia "If you would be so kind as to destroy those bits of tape, then I will pay you two hundred pounds. I've got it here! Look"

"That would be very unprofessional" said Dave.

"Three hundred" added Hermia "You must understand, Mr. Cam – I mean, Dave. You're a guy. Wouldn't you just hate it if you found out your girlfriend had cheated on you, and it was broadcast to live TV?"

"It would be heartbreaking" said Dave.

"Yeah. So what do you say?"

"I'll take two hundred and fifty. And a couple of Lady Capulet's old jewellery for the wife"

"Help yourself, she won't want it" shrugged Hermia "Thanks Dave. You've made my day!"


	65. The Last Dinner

Oreoskidz - Yay! I love your pwetty pictures! I'm sure whatever you do will be great, I loved the one of Hermia and Benvolio. Glad you had a good holiday too!

A - Thank you! I had a great holiday. I think I might knock out the Christmas Carol idea for about Christmas time or something. Poor you for having to go back to school already, I still have another two weeks of holiday and then I'm in Sixth Form! Also, was it you who sent me a message on deviantart? I recognised your signature 'I heart you!'

So, we are nearing the ending. I think this story has gone on enough now, and believe it or not, I have actually written the ending now. But I have loads of ideas for a sequel, funny bits of dialogue that didn't make it to this cut and stuff. So anyway, here are the Montagues treating the Capulet kids to dinner!

* * *

On Thursday night, Lord and Lady Montague took Juliet, Tybalt and Rosaline to their favourite restaurant, Giovanni's. The waiters were surprised to see this group of people together, but none the less gave them a table, in full view of everyone so they could marvel at the spectacle. Tybalt immediately ordered the meat feast, and Rosaline rolled her eyes and ordered salad, so Juliet called it rabbit food and ordered grilled salmon with seasoned fries and peas. Claudio and Paulina happily paid for it all, then instead of having dessert, they had booked tickets for the cinema and would feast on popcorn and sweets instead.

"What do you think of the past two weeks?" asked Claudio.

"It's been fun" said Juliet.

"Are you sure you're not just saying that?" asked Paulina.

"No! We've always been curious about you guys. I mean, before we came here, we'd talk about you, say how much we hated you, say about how you didn't deserve to exist and such, and it was like you weren't even human. It was more like you were evil robots!" explained Juliet. Tybalt and Rosaline both tittered, and Rosaline's ring glittered.

"I wonder how all the others are getting on" said Rosaline.

"Same" said Juliet "It will be really weird going home, and having Hermia there again, but not mum"

"Don't worry about her. If she turns up looking for you, just say you want to stick with us Capulets" shrugged Tybalt "Or, ring me up, and I'll come round and deal with her myself"

"Yeah, you'll just tell her to moisturize her face again!" sniggered Juliet.

"That's all she bloody does!"

"Well, you listen here, Juliet" instructed Paulina "If you can't bear it, or if you need someone to talk to, then our door is always open. You can come and talk to one of us. Isn't that right, Claudio?"

"Yep. Sure. Anytime you need one of us, just give us a buzz. We'll be happy to help you"

"Thanks" said Juliet.

"And as for you, Tybalt, no more trouble!"

"That's easier said than done" muttered Rosaline.

"Oi" said Tybalt, elbowing her.

"Tibby! I won't marry you if you keep on elbowing me"

"I'm looking forward to your wedding, you know" said Paulina "It will definitely be interesting, I'm sure. I mean, I hope you aren't too serious about making Gabriel wear pantaloons and be the ring bearer"

"He's my younger brother. If I can't humiliate him once in a while, what else can I do?"

Tybalt sniggered into the collar of his shirt "He will kill us!"

"I think he'll be more embarrassed by that than dad probably is about the video of him dancing. It's reached about two million views around the world now, after it got passed about on Twitter and Facebook and stuff. I expect Mercutio is feeling really proud of himself" said Juliet.

"That boy" said Paulina with a roll of her eyes and a shake of her head.

"He's not even funny" added Tybalt.

"Exactly" said Rosaline "I mean, the Tybalt Has Ginger Pubes joke is so old"

"Rosaline, I am eating!" cried Juliet, banging down her fork.

"Well, I'm sorry, it's just a boring joke that's not even funny!"

"One that the whole restaurant does not need to hear" hissed Tybalt, glancing around at all the people looking at them.

They settled down and ate some more of their meal again. Juliet sighed, wondering whether or not she ought to break her news now. She and Romeo had agreed to come clean on the last day. They'd decided that when they all returned to Escalus' Palace, where they'd be interviewed about their stay and handed over to their parents, that they would kiss in front of the cameras. If things went badly, then Mercutio had agreed to allow them both to crash at his dad's. His dad was usually drunk and lying on the sofa oblivious to anything, and so Mercutio said he did not see a problem with that. Juliet fidgeted nervously, hoping that it would not break down the relationship that she had built up with the Montagues.

When they finished, Claudio paid, and refused to let Tybalt, Rosaline or Juliet put in any contribution. He even treated them to sweets at the cinema, although Rosaline didn't have any, she just nicked some of Juliet and Tybalt's. They got home late, and went straight to bed as they had school the next morning. Their bags were half-packed, as they would do that when they got in from school tomorrow. Juliet lay in bed awake, thinking about how much she had learnt and what had changed in a mere two weeks.


	66. Threats

A - I will describe it so vividly you will think you were there. Oh, and I had a look at Eve Of Milady dresses, and there are all so beautiful and all soooo Rosaline. I chose two I liked best and kind of meshed them together. And yay, you have a deviantart! I'm glad you liked my pictures. I did them all for my art GCSE earlier this year. And also if you go in my favourites you can see a picture of Hermia and Benvolio that Oreoskidz did for me :)

Kiko33 - I'll be sad when it's done too! I've lived with this story for about a year or so now. You know, drafting it, writing it, posting it. I've got cracking on the sequel and I like how it's turned out. I think the sequel will be a more mature effort, as I'm going to be dealing with some harder topics.

Now, Lord Capulet has had a week to come to terms with the relationship between his daughter and Romeo. And what does he do about it?

* * *

"Listen here, boy" snarled Lord Capulet. Romeo spun around from where he had been watching out of the window.

"Yes?" he answered nervously. Something about Lord Capulet always made him feel nervous. But not as nervous as Benvolio usually got.

"I have been thinking about what you said to me on Saturday"

"Really?" asked Romeo, trying not to antagonise the cranky Lord.

"Yes"

"And...what exactly do you think?" Romeo pursed his lips and then smoothed his shirt nervously.

"If what you said about seeing my daughter is true" Lord Capulet began "Then I believe we need to have a chat"

"Oh. Ok then" said Romeo nervously. He waited. Lord Capulet took a deep breath.

"If I ever have reason to believe that you have hurt her, upset her, mistreated her, offended her, humiliated her, forced her into doing something that either she does not want to do, or I do not want her to do, whether it's sneaking out at midnight, drugs, sexual touching, sexual intercouse, smoking, stealing, or any other kind of crimes, then I will give Tybalt permission to beat you half to death, stuff your head down a lavatory, flush it, and then castrate you. Understand?"

"Yes, sir" muttered Romeo.

"But I'm sure that won't happen. You have proven yourself to be a little more mature and responsible. If only the same could be said of that idiot friend of yours"

"You mean Mercutio?"

"Yes"

"What's he doing?"

"Something he calls a flappy dappy dance"

Romeo snorted.

"This isn't funny! Several times during the past fortnight, I have considered ringing the Mental Health line and having them come over to evaluate him. The boy is quite blatantly mad, and I think he has a problem!"

"That's just him! Mercutio isn't mental" protested Romeo.

"I can't help but think so. My own sister has manic depression. I know the symptoms of mental health issues, and I unofficially diagnose him with Schizophrenia for the rant about fairies he had last night, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder for his incessant ability not to concentrate and start doing something else, Gender Identity Disorder for when he dressed up in my ex wife's clothes, and several other things that I don't even know enough about to diagnose!"

"But he's just...Mercutio! And he doesn't have Gender Identity Disorder! We always dress up stupid in stupid outfits. Sometimes they happen to be women's clothes, I mean, we sneaked into your party dressed as the Spice Girls one year so we wouldn't be recognised but Tybalt caught me and then we ran off and we also had to take it all off so Hermia couldn't get a picture to put on the internet and humiliate us with"

"You did WHAT!" barked Lord Capulet.

"Sneaked into your party dressed as the Spice Girls" mumbled Romeo.

"Oh, great. And let me guess, it was Mercutio's idea?"

"Yes" said Romeo "And he's not a schizo and he doesn't have ADHD, he has a vivid imagination and likes to express himself! He's just...Mercutio!"

"Did something happen in his childhood that I should know about? Was he dropped on his head?"

"No, but his dad is an alcoholic and his parents are divorced. People call him gay a lot but I think he's just affectionate with me and Benvolio"

"Whatever" Lord Capulet rolled his eyes "Just bear that threat in mind. I'm going to go and tell Mercutio to pack it in and shut up now. Tybalt would never act like that, it's shocking"


	67. Going Home

Oreoskidz - Yeah, that's how I like to interpret him! Wonderfully stark-raving MAD! And yay, there's another picture in the works! I'm all excited now :)

A - Oh dear, that sounds awful! We were camping in Belgium a week ago, and they'd had a storm not very far from where our campsite was. Thank God we came home! And I'm so glad you mentioned that designer, I mean, how do you find a perfect wedding dress for something as beautiful and glamourous as Rosaline?

Kiko33 - He is crazy, and that's why I love him!

I have just worked out, after this chapter, that I only have three more to publish and then I'm done. Luckily the last chapter is really long. How do you tie up ends that have lasted almost seventy chapters long? Anyway, as Juliet, Tybalt and Rosaline prepare to leave the Montagues, they find out a juicy tidbit of information.

* * *

"We're home!" yelled Tybalt, as they got back on Friday afternoon. It was their last day now. In a few hours, they'd be at Escalus' Palace, and then they'd be going home. It felt strange to think they'd be sleeping in their own beds tonight. Tybalt knew his bed would be covered in cat fur from where he hadn't shut the door properly when he stormed over to the Montagues with Juliet, and Juliet knew that her wardrobe would be spilling open from where Hermia had 'borrowed' a shirt or two. Or a skirt. Or a dress. Or some shoes. Rosaline knew that the house next door would have another smashed window, that the drug dealer across the road would be in custody again, and that Livia would have trashed her room.

"Hiya!" said Paulina, walking downstairs with one of her dogs following her. She bent down and petted it's fur "Are you lot ready to pack your bags?"

"Yeah" sighed Juliet "I'll be in my own bed tonight. And Hermia will have nabbed all my clothes that I left behind"

"Sisters" nodded Paulina with sympathy.

"I bet Livia's done the same with my stuff" said Rosaline "Except I will kill her if she's ruined anything. Would you show Hermia mercy?"

"Yes. She usually takes good care of my stuff, although she doesn't exactly tidy up what she leaves behind" muttered Juliet.

"Sisters! I have one as well. We used to share a bedroom, so it wasn't as if I could lock her out. Our house was tiny. She'd nick my nail varnish and once bent one of my favourite earrings in two. I don't even know she could have done it, since you wear earrings in your ears"

"But...you're Lady Montague. Why was your house tiny?" asked Tybalt, looking confused.

"I wasn't always Lady Montague. I used to clean this house before I lived in it. I come from a working class background. I was lousy in school and barely got any O Levels, as they were called back then. But my mate's mum had a cleaning business, and they were responsible for this place, so she agreed to take me on and then I got a job here. Me and Claudio hit it off right away, and we started dating. After a while, we got married and had Romeo. I still like to do a bit of cleaning every now and then, just to keep me busy. I bet you thought I was from a swanky middle class family, don't you?"

"Well," said Tybalt, glancing at Rosaline and Juliet "Yeah"

"Oh, so you learn something new everyday. Do you need any help packing?"

"I think I'm good" replied Juliet.

"I'll help Tibby" said Rosaline.

"Thanks, Ros" said Tybalt.


	68. Love Affairs Don't Last

Magenta - Lol, it was Romeo who was defending Mercutio! But yeah, paying off the camera man was something she'd totally do. You'll get to see what happens with Romeo and Juliet in the next two chapters, which are also the last two chapters *sobs* What do you think of my idea for 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' sequel?

Hermia and Benvolio fans...please don't kill me for this. I got upset too.

* * *

Wandering through the graveyard, Hermia and Benvolio passed by the Capulet tomb, and then found a little bench just out of the sun and in the shade. They both sat down together, and held hands. Hermia stroked her thumb over the contours of Benvolio knuckles, liking the feel of his soft gentle skin. His hands were softer than any other boy she'd known. They sat for about five minutes, before she felt that she should say something.

"So" said Hermia.

"I can't believe it's all over" replied Benvolio.

"They'll be looking for us later" added Hermia.

"Well, I guess we better make the most of it" Benvolio reached forwards and stroked a piece of Hermia's red hair behind her ear "Where do we go from here?"

"You and me wasn't what I intended" Hermia nodded sadly "I never meant to cheat on Lysander like this. I love him...but I love you two"

"It's up to you" shrugged Benvolio, struggling to keep the emotion out of his voice "I've been hurt before. I'll get over it"

"Don't say it like that" pleaded Hermia "Mercutio told me all about what happened and then about how you felt and how you just tried to brush it off and act normal and as non-Romeo as possible. I don't want to break your heart too!"

"Either way, it's me or Lysander who'll be crying into our pillows at night. All I want is for you to be happy. And I don't want Eugene kicking you out again like that"

"He won't kick me out. The mouse isn't there anymore. And I think Juliet will be keeping Tybalt and Rosaline in check from now on" said Hermia. She got up and smoothed down her clothes "So, where is it?"

"Oh" Benvolio stood up as well, and lead Hermia along the pathway to the white marble gravestone he knew so well. The bluebells he had planted last year had bloomed again. They stood in silence for a couple of moments.

"So, she died when you were ten. And she was only in her thirties" murmured Hermia.

"What about yours?" asked Benvolio.

"I didn't even know her" said Hermia "She only managed to hold me for five minutes before they had to treat her. I think she had an underlying heart condition that no one knew about, then she had a blood clot, and she wasn't getting enough oxygen and it was too late. That's all I've heard. I don't even know where her grave is, or if she was cremated or not. I think she was in her twenties when she died. I always feel a bit guilty, you see, so I don't like to think about her very much"

"It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask to be born. But I'm glad you're around"

Hermia smiled sadly, before leaning down and picking up a small forgotten crocus flower from the floor "Here. You can lay this. We forgot to get flowers on the way here, didn't we?"

"Thanks" Benvolio took it, and laid it on the headstone so it didn't interfere with the bluebells too much.

"It must have been hard on your dad, having to bring you and Beatrix up on his own"

"Yeah, it was. Except he gets all these stupid girlfriends with IQ's smaller than dust particles" Benvolio turned "Do you think it's possible that people dumber than Beatrix exist? Because I can introduce you to a couple"

Hermia snorted "Shall we go and sit back on the bench?"

"Yeah. I always feel sad standing around here" They turned and headed back to the bench where they had been sitting. They held hands again, and Hermia leant on Benvolio's shoulder. He bent his head so that it rested against hers.

"Thank you for coming with me" said Benvolio.

"No problem. I just thought we needed to talk as well"

"Yeah" he swallowed "So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know" said Hermia "I can't just dump Lysander. He put me up after I got kicked out! But I don't want to lose you"

"We can still be friends"

"I know, but it's not the same!"

"It was nice while it lasted" Benvolio said wistfully.

"Thank you" murmured Hermia, leaning further into his shoulder and smelling his soft scent of toffee and books.

"If you and Lysander ever break up, and I'm still free, which I probably will be, and you still want me, then I'm all yours"


	69. The Returning Of The Children

Jenni - LOL! Your boyfriend sounds like Tybalt! That cracked me up so much, I bet he's in heaps of trouble from the school and his parents.

A - Yeah, I always imagine Benvolio as being the sweetest boy ever, not always the best looking or most charismatic, but just really sweet. I wonder how long Hermia and Benvolio will stay broken up for. And storms do suck, especially if you are in a manky old leaking tent with a mother who's convinced it's the height of fun.

Magenta - Haha, I actually imagined it as Tybalt being a mean boy and the 'King Bee' and Benvolio being a new boy who gets unwittedly caught up in all the fighting because he hates violence. Romeo could be the one who is 'too gay to function!'

So, it's the second to last chapter. Everybody gathers at Escalus' Palace, to meet up with their families and talk about the swap and what it has done for them. And will Romeo and Juliet 'come out the closet' at last? Let me know how you think it goes!

* * *

Escalus waited at the window off his palace, looking out over Verona. People moved about like ants, and the cars were like beetles, their coats of paint shining in the sun. When he looked over Verona, he always felt weirdly responsible, as if Verona was a child that needed love and attention. It certainly felt like that sometimes.

Angelo Fulgencio, his Deputy, walked up to him. Escalus was quite a modern man, and as it wasn't a formal occasion, so there was no need to bow down to him.

"The families have arrived, Escalus. They're in separate rooms whilst the camera crew set up in the big receiving room. Would you like to come down and wait there for them?"

"Thanks, Angelo. How's er, Gabriel's head?"

Angelo rolled his eyes "He's been treating me like a servant for the past week. But other than that, he's fine, and although he's absolutely convinced that he should be off school for the rest of term, he's going back to school next Monday. But he won't be able to do PE"

"Oh, well, that's good then" said Escalus "I think I will come down to the receiving room. Do you want to come?"

"Of course"

Escalus led the way down and entered the room. The camera crew were finished and several other members of his family were present, including Mercutio's mother and his nephews Paris and Valentine.

"Are you ready, sir?" asked Mr. Camera Man (This one wasn't Dave)

"Yes. Bring them all in"

Soon, the families were all in the room. Lord Capulet entered first, with Mercutio, Romeo, Benvolio, Beatrix and Hermia who had come along for the ride. Mercutio seized Escalus in a bear crushing hug to annoy him, and then a slightly more gentle hug for his mother and brother.

"Paris! Give me a big hug and a kiss" demanded Mercutio, rounding on his boring cousin.

"No!" snapped Paris.

"Surely you must have missed me!"

"No, I did not!"

The Montagues entered next with Juliet, Tybalt and Rosaline. Hermia hugged Juliet first, and then Lord Capulet hugged her and Hermia at the same time.

"From what I have experienced" began Lord Capulet. Both girls rolled their eyes, and waited for their lecture "I am going to spend some more time with both of you, and I'm not going to be so miserable as it's having an effect on our relationships. And I'm going to be a bit less strict. You're teenagers. You need to make mistakes, otherwise you will never learn anything. Understand?"

"Can I get my nose pierced?" asked Hermia.

"No!" snapped Lord Capulet "I mean, wait until you're sixteen! And as for you, Juliet, show me this belly piercing. I'm upset you went behind my back, but I suppose it's not as bad as a tattoo!"

"Or a baby" added Juliet, lifting her top and showing him the piercing.

"No. Piercings and late nights are now the limit!"

Tybalt shuffled over to meet his mum "Hey mum. How are you doing?"

"Hello, sweetipops!" cooed Regina "Oooh, you've gotten a bit podgy, haven't you? Have they been feeding you up? I've made you dinner!"

"Really?" asked Tybalt, secretly groaning and retching "What is it?"

"Only your favourite. Only...Sausage Surprise!"

"Hurray" muttered Tybalt "And also, mum, there is something I need to tell you"

"Oh. Really? What is it?"

"Ros! Come and show mum"

Rosaline walked over from where she was greeting Angelo, and Tybalt picked up her hand with the ring.

"We're getting married!"

Regina squealed delightedly "Oooh, congratulations Tibby! I'm so excited already! What colour scheme are you going to have? What kind of dress? Oh, Rosaline, you could wear my wedding dress from when I married Tibby's daddy! It's got little embroided cats on! We'll have to start preparing! I'll make sure you have the wedding of the year!"

Rosaline went back to Angelo, and then Romeo went over to meet his parents.

"Mum, dad, I've missed you-"

"You, young man, have some explaining to do" said Claudio sternly.

Romeo's face fell "What?"

"Prank calls" began Paulina "Harassment. Cat kidnapping. Tormenting your English teacher. Rude messages on the school whiteboard. We've heard all about it. What have you done?"

"Nothing!" protested Romeo "I'm a good boy!"

Anthony turned to his twins "So, did you have a nice time?"

"Yes" said Beatrix.

"It was ok" replied Benvolio.

"Did you cause any trouble?" asked Anthony.

"Yeah! We dressed up in Lady Capulet's clothes after she left Eugene and then paraded around Verona, and Hermia and Mercutio went up to Demetrius' house, knocked on the door and flashed him!" giggled Beatrix.

"Oh, honestly Beatrix" muttered Anthony "What about you, Benvolio? Did you cause any trouble?"

Benvolio had been looking over at Hermia, who had been looking at him "Oh. Not a lot. I mean, we played music loudly and I shouted at Eugene once or twice and we did try and sneak in Tybalt's room one Saturday. And then last Friday we had a party and I got drunk. But other than that...I've behaved myself"

"Well" said Escalus loudly, so everyone turned to face him and pay attention "How has it been?"

The teenagers cheered.

"Are you going to call truce and stop feuding?"

"Yes!" declared Romeo and Juliet loudly. The other teenagers agreed and nodded. Even Tybalt nodded, but his expression remained neutral. Claudio and Paulina nodded.

"I'll be civil" muttered Lord Capulet.

"Do you think the experiment has helped?" asked Escalus.

"Yeah!"

"How do you view each family now?" Escalus asked again.

"It's helped us realise that they're actually people like us" said Juliet "I mean, we are actually a lot more similar than we realise. Aunty Regina calls her cats her babies, but Paulina also calls her dogs her babies, and we both have someone in the family who is a bad cook, someone who's a bit crazy, someone who's really annoying – I'm looking at you, Beatrix, you Twitard, and you, Hermia, for just being Hermia, and we have someone who's a stereotype, and both Rosaline and Paulina come from humble backgrounds"

"What a lovely politically correct way of putting it" added Paulina. Juliet laughed, as by now she was used to her sense of humour.

"Exactly" said Tybalt.

"Tybalt? This sounds rather unusual" remarked Escalus.

"Yeah, well, they're people too, and I mean, like Juliet says, we have some stuff in common with them and that. Do you get me?"

"Yes, I do. Are you going to stop causing trouble?" asked Escalus.

"I can be civil" replied Tybalt "And I have other things besides feuding to be getting on with now"

Rosaline held her hand up with the ring on for the cameras to see. They focused on it for a moment.

"What about you, Egues? I remember you said that the boys helped you to feel young again" asked Escalus. Mercutio, Romeo and Benvolio sniggered.

"Well..." said Lord Capulet "Like Tybalt says, we do have our similarities and differences. And they are more important things in this life to be doing than feuding. As irritating as Mercutio and Romeo can be, I have more pressing matters to attend to. Like spending time with my girls, and sorting out divorce suits"

"And what about you two, Mercutio and Romeo?"

"Us?" asked Mercutio.

"Yes. You"

"Well..." Romeo dithered "We're not going to prank call Tybalt anymore pretending to be from Planned Parenthood, are we, Mercutio?"

"No" said Mercutio, shaking his head "We're going to stop being so sneaky, if Tybalt stops being so homophobic and aggressive, right?"

"Good. I'm very proud of you" beamed Escalus "Is there anything anyone else wants to say?"

Juliet charged through the crowd and tapped Romeo on the shoulder. He turned, and kissed her deeply on the lips.


	70. Memory Lane

Well. Here it is. The very last chapter of Child Swap. First of all, I'd just like to thank all my reviewers, starting with A, Oreoskidz, Kiko33, Jenni, Magenta, NessaV123, japaneserockergirl, Jocasta Silver, Porphyritic, Dagger, bluesheepy, Cornadopia and Broadway and Books! If it weren't for you lot with your amazing reviews, I wouldn't have felt so motivated to write!

Secondly, yes, I have started writing a sequel, but I need some time to write up more chapters. However, each day I am going to post a spoiler to my deviantart. Go to my profile and find the link. First one is up today! If you look in my favourites on deviantart, you'll see two pictures Oreoskidz did for me. They are absolutely adorable, check them out!

And now, please enjoy the last chapter of 'Child Swap!' I am going to miss posting and talking to you all, so leave me a reeeeally long review to remember you by! LOL!

* * *

On Saturday night, the families once again gathered at Escalus' Palace to watch the premier of their reality show 'Child Swap'

At first they all sat on separate sides of the room, but soon Juliet went over to sit with Romeo, and she leant against him with his arm around her. Lord Capulet kept his head up high and his expression neutral. Mercutio dragged Benvolio over to sit with Hermia between them. Rosaline was lying against Tybalt, with Regina admiring her ring.

"This is going to be so embarrassing. I hate hearing my voice on tape" said Hermia.

"Same" muttered Tybalt.

Escalus sat down, and the documentary began. A couple of lines of text rolled up on the screen.

'_Two weeks ago, Mercutio Vincentino, Romeo and Benvolio Montague encountered Tybalt Capulet whilst in the park, and began to argue. The argument climaxed with Tybalt being picked up and thrown in the fountain. His Highness Prince Escalus therefore decreed that each family must swap children for a fortnight'_

Immediately, the film began with Juliet and Tybalt walking up to the Montague Ranch. An announcer spoke the following "Although the arrival of each set of children was not filmed, security cameras caught the following episode"

Romeo and the other Montagues were in stitches as Tybalt was chased through the house by the dogs. Tybalt flushed red as he watched himself screaming on the telly.

"Loser! Loser!" laughed Romeo and Mercutio.

"That's enough" said Paulina "Some people aren't used to dogs"

"Hey, look, it's us!" exclaimed Benvolio, pointing.

"_This is going to be hell"_ said the Romeo on the screen.

"_We'll have some fun"_ assured the Mercutio on the screen.

"And we did" said Mercutio "Right, Eugene?"

"My name is Egues! And you will refer to me as Lord Capulet, or else!" The boys laughed, watching as Mercutio terrorized Benvolio about the bats and as they play-fought their way along the path. They laughed as they first began annoying Lord Capulet on the screen and when Mercutio greeted the nurse with 'Nursie!'

The filming flickered back to the Montagues, where they'd been having dinner and Tybalt was wearing bandages.

"I remember this" giggled Juliet "Watch Tybalt act like a total jerk, everyone!"

"Shut up" said Tybalt. The Tybalt on the screen started to smoke and curse at the Montagues. Then he stormed off with Lord Montague following to go and check his suitcase. The group 'awwed' at Juliet when she defended Tybalt and his actions.

"How sweet" said Tybalt sarcastically.

"Well, you are a good cousin" reasoned Juliet "You have your nice moments"

The program flipped over to show Lord Capulet and the Montague boys eating. The whole group (apart from Lord Capulet and Tybalt) were in stitches as the boys outwitted and verbally abused Lord Capulet. After that, there was a short segment of Lord Montague listening outside Tybalt's door and then walking away.

"Sneak" hissed Tybalt across the room.

"I left so you could talk privately" retorted Claudio.

The screen switched to where Romeo was setting up the CD player.

"Oh my God, this was so funny!" cackled Mercutio "Watch this, Hermia. You would be proud of us!"

The group was in stitches again as Mercutio and the boys pretended that the Lady Gaga CD wasn't playing when it was, and when Mercutio told the horror story about the rats and Tybalt. Anthony was stunned when he saw Benvolio, quiet, sensible, shy, Benvolio, stand in the hallway and yell for the Lady Gaga CD and then laughed at Mercutio as he blamed the loud noise on the cat and call Lord Capulet 'Gappy' Then was the part where Tybalt was awoken to loud dance music, and when he came downstairs acting all grumpy.

"Aw, Tibby, you do love your sleep, don't you?" cooed Regina "He slept in till one today. I made him a bacon sandwich and let him eat in bed, didn't I, sweetipops?"

"Yes, mum" groaned Tybalt.

"Tybalt! What did you say that for?" asked Rosaline as she heard him say to Paulina that she couldn't stand the sight of Romeo.

"What? You don't. You like your boys a little more masculine" said Tybalt, watching as he stuck his middle finger up at the camera.

"That's very manly, Tybalt" said Mercutio sarcastically. The scene changed to when Mercutio broke the bed.

"Oh, this is going to be funny" grinned Romeo. They watched Mercutio wander around the room, before jumping on the bed and smashing it. Hermia burst out laughing as Mercutio stood comically in a smashed bed. The group laughed again at Mercutio's next set of puns about masturbation.

"Oh, Mercutio" sighed Hermia.

"I can't help it! Rude things just slip out of my mouth"

A short snippet was shown of Juliet and Paulina at the shops, and then of Lady Capulet telling the boys that they would have to have 'Sausage Surprise' at Regina's house. There was another shot of Juliet and Paulina walking the dogs.

"You looked nice in that outfit, Juliet" said Hermia, pointing.

"Ssh" said Lord Capulet, as Juliet once again defended Tybalt.

"Aw, Juliet, such a good cousin" teased Tybalt. He turned back to the screen, where it showed what the Montague boys had done that day. The group laughed again at Mercutio imitating devil statues and then at Mercutio trying to stuff a frog down Benvolio's trousers.

"Mercutio, you're so mean! Do that to Tybalt, not our Bennykins!" giggled Hermia.

"You try and I'll kick you in the face" threatened Tybalt.

"That's enough" said Escalus, and then he himself laughed as Romeo soaked Mercutio with the hose for trying to stuff the frogs down Benvolio's trousers. He laughed again at the X-Rated scrabble game and then as they were dragged off to Regina's for dinner.

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this" smirked Tybalt, but then the film cut to him smoking and Lord Montague telling him off. Mercutio laughed at him instead. But then Tybalt was laughing as it went back to his house. He stopped when Benvolio started looking at some of the trophies and his mother explained what they were for.

"I didn't know you could dance, Tybalt" said Paulina.

"I can't. That's why I quit" said Tybalt quickly. But they were distracted by Benvolio saying that Tybalt had guns and weed under the bed and Mercutio attempting to sneak in Tybalt's room, before being forced to eat 'Sausage Surprise'

"Oh, god" groaned Romeo, watching as he spat it out.

"Did you not like it?" asked Regina.

"No" replied Romeo.

"That's a shame. Tibby loves it, doesn't he?"

"Yeah" said Tybalt. They watched in silence at the argument, and as it was resolved and Tybalt was sent back to the Montague Ranch. They then showed Paulina showing off all of Romeo's baby pictures.

"Mum!" groaned Romeo.

"What? You were a cute baby" shrugged Paulina. But after that it was Tybalt's turn to laugh as Benvolio and Mercutio tossed up, and then eventually Romeo.

"Oh, did you get food poisoning?" asked Regina casually. Tybalt stiffened, knowing what would happen next, but thankfully, the scene where he yelled about what was wrong with his mother was cut and they instead showed the Montague boys waking up to find their Lady Gaga CD and Lord Capulet trying to bargain with them.

"You sly bastard!" laughed Lord Montague "I should have thought of that!"

"I beg your pardon?" hissed Lord Capulet.

"He's joking, dad" said Juliet quickly. They turned back to see Mercutio wheedle information out of Lady Capulet about her marital status.

"There's the prelude to trouble" said Hermia. She then turned to the TV to laugh at Tybalt refusing to go to church and attempting to flash Paulina.

"Oh, Tybalt. You are so stupid sometimes" snorted Romeo.

"Shut up" snapped Tybalt, evidently embarrassed by his actions. The group snorted as Juliet sucked up to Paulina and Tybalt got in trouble, and then tutted and shook their heads after Romeo, Mercutio and Benvolio ran out of the Capulet Manor to go and visit Hermia, shouting insults at Lord Capulet.

"You three are terrible" stated Claudio. Then they watched a short clip of Tybalt messing around with his phone in a church, and getting in trouble.

"Look, that's us on our way to visit you!" pointed Mercutio, as the Benvolio on the screen wondered if Hermia would watch the documentary.

"And the answer is...yes" said Hermia. Then came the bit with Benvolio asking how she could be Lord Capulet's daughter.

"Damn you, Mr. Camera Man, I asked him not to play this on telly!" said Mercutio.

"His name was Dave. You should have paid him off" said Hermia "And I'm not bothered. The whole of Verona probably worked it out anyway. It's not like Tybalt doesn't call me bastard in front of people all over Verona"

"Shut up" snapped Tybalt "I wouldn't call you a bastard if you weren't so annoying"

They watched as Hermia gave them tips on how to survive and Lord Capulet snorted "So that's what you were doing!"

"Hey, look, it's the bit where Tybalt smashes the tree up!" exclaimed Beatrix. Most the group laughed, some moaned, as Tybalt beat the poor tree apart. Tybalt himself just sniggered, and Rosaline sighed in irritancy. Next was when Lord Capulet came across Benvolio doing his maths homework and their discussion about sisters, and then about the conversation about the whole 'Tybalt's dad is a gangster in prison' thing. Anthony and Regina glared at each other across the room. This scene faded to black, and then it reopened to Tybalt eating breakfast in a hurry to get to school.

"Oooh, Tibby, you hardly ever get up that fast for school" noted Regina.

"Keep listening and you'll find out why!"

The show changed to see the Montagues arriving at the station and talking to Tybalt and Juliet. The whole room went silent when Tybalt made homophobic slurs at Mercutio and when they started fighting.

"Oh, Juliet, playing mum again are we? I'd have just helped Mercutio to beat up our dear chavvums here" said Hermia.

"Shut up" snapped Tybalt.

"Make me" gloated Hermia.

"Stop it, I'm trying to watch" commanded Escalus.

"Oh, oh, this is the bit where I arrive" said Rosaline. Some of the teenagers sniggered when Tybalt hopefully wondered if the Montagues were all dead. The whole room 'awwed' when Rosaline leapt into his arms and kissed him.

"How sweet" crooned Hermia. Mercutio and Romeo started to giggle when Tybalt and Rosaline insisted on sharing a room, and laughed some more when it flickered back to them answering the phone, and Mercutio announcing that it was 'Capulet Crocodile Farm' The room went silent again as the phone buzzed with Juliet's angry statements.

"I did not throw Hermia down the stairs. We were arguing. And she tripped" said Rosaline curtly.

"No, you definitely pushed me, bitch" said Hermia.

"Stop it!" said Escalus "No cat fights, ladies"

Then came the bit where Juliet told the Montagues that Tybalt used to do drugs.

"I do not do drugs" hissed Tybalt.

"Well, I didn't know the whole story, and I'm sorry I said things about you without knowing the whole story" replied Juliet.

"How mature of you" muttered Escalus. Then the camera zoomed in on Mercutio, Romeo and Benvolio lying on Lord Capulet's bedroom floor.

"Oooh, it's the protest! Keep watching, Hermy-wa, we did this for you because we love you!" sang Mercutio. The camera swivelled from each teenager as they yelled at Lord Capulet, and the whole room burst out laughing when Benvolio screamed at Lord Capulet.

"What on earth happened to my quiet son, who hates football and would rather read books and dissect frogs-" began Anthony, but he was cut off by Romeo asking the same kind of question on the television. Juliet laughed when Romeo ranted at Lord Capulet about how she disobeyed him behind his back all the time. They all watched when Lord Capulet stomped off to go and get Hermia, and Romeo, Hermia and Benvolio booed and hissed when Lord Capulet was homophobic about Mercutio.

"Mean Girls is not a stupid film" said Mercutio.

"Mercutio, he just called you gay on TV which has just been broadcast to Verona, and you only care that he called Mean Girls a stupid film?" asked Romeo.

"Who doesn't call me gay these days?"

"Here, here!" shouted Tybalt. It changed to show Tybalt and Rosaline's bedroom door and they heard them all making plans for a party, and then showed Hermia arriving at the Capulet Manor and greeting her friends. There was a quick breakdown of the rest of the week, including Rosaline doing her Economics homework, and then it was Friday night.

The beginning of the Capulet's party was first, when Hermia set it up, and let the guests in. Lord Capulet leant forwards and watched as Romeo tipped some vodka into a cup then give it to him.

"So there we have the reason behind my behaviour. I'll never do that again"

"Of course not" whispered Mercutio into Hermia's ear. They then watched the beginning of Tybalt's party, with Gabriel and Livia arriving.

"I can't wait to see the little brat smack his head" sniggered Mercutio "Oh, sorry, Angelo!"

On the screen, Juliet rejected Paris, and Hermia cackled with glee as Paris himself went red. Then they laughed some more at the party at the Capulet's house, where Mercutio played 'Spin The Bottle' and kissed everyone, when Lord Capulet embarrassed himself by going on about how 'rocking' and 'cool' he was. It showed Romeo and Lysander talking, although no one actually heard what they said. Benvolio was jumping on the sofa at one point, and then it cut back to the Lord Capulet doing the dance that Mercutio filmed. Hermia and Benvolio disappeared at one point, and everyone who knew about their steamy romance knew what they were up too. The party went on until the last person dropped, and then skipped over to the Montagues, where Tybalt and Rosaline hosted their party.

The Montagues were running around horrified, Juliet was even ruder to Paris, and soon afterwards Tybalt came out, and did his feat of jumping in the pool. The group howled with laughter, and then Gabriel jumped in as well. Benvolio looked stunned at Gabriel's stream of abuse.

"The little..." snarled Anthony.

"Leave it, he can't help being such a bitch, it's in the bone. Just look at Rosaline" said Hermia "Sorry, Angelo!"

"Oh, look, he's going to slip next" grinned Mercutio "Let's watch him crack his head open!"

"You're deranged. And a psycho" said Benvolio. On the screen, Gabriel slipped, and the whole room winced. But the group was taken aback as Tybalt rushed to the rescue and delivered first aid. There was a haunted atmosphere as an ambulance arrived, and whizzed away.

The sounds of little birds tweeting filled the air, and the Capulet Manor came into view. It showed the chaos from the party, the household strewn around the place asleep, but thankfully not Hermia and Benvolio. Hermia relaxed, a little. They watched Escalus' visit, when Lord Capulet said how they made him feel young again. The group giggled at him, and then it skipped over to the Montagues cleaning up, with Tybalt angrily yelling at Paulina and Juliet when she said he did drugs. The film did not show Hermia and Benvolio in bed together, and both of them relaxed again. Instead they watched Paulina and Tybalt call a truce.

"Were you feeling all right, Tybalt? You sure you weren't still drunk?" asked Romeo.

"Shut up" said Tybalt. They showed the Capulet household dealing with the shock of Lady Capulet having walked out, but not Hermia and Benvolio together. It went back to the Montague household, where Tybalt had planted the new tree and was watching the video with Juliet. They all laughed again.

"Oh, here comes my confession" said Romeo, when it went back to the Capulet household "It's so cringey! I'm such an idiot when I'm drunk"

"Well, it turned out ok, didn't it?" Juliet reasoned. They kissed, and Tybalt looked like he wanted to throttle Romeo, but he didn't. The group laughed at Romeo's drunken tales of love experiences.

"You were brave, boy" said Lord Capulet "Brave, but stupid"

"Whoops" muttered Romeo. Next, they watched Beatrix and Anthony have dinner at the Montague household, and Tybalt play his trick on Beatrix. Even Mercutio laughed, and Beatrix flushed red. They watched her be dropped off, and saw Hermia play her own prank on Beatrix about Tybalt looking like Edward Cullen.

"So that explains why you turned up at the Ranch acting like that!"

On the TV, Anthony gave Rosaline the business tips, although they cut some of this to skip on over to the Capulet house, where Hermia was settling Beatrix in with a room, and when they had dinner and Mercutio said that Gabriel looked like Justin Bieber. It skipped the bits with Benvolio talking about what he'd done with Hermia, and went over to the Montagues, when Lady Capulet turned up and Tybalt yelled at her to moisturize her face.

"Good boy, Tybalt" praised Lord Capulet. Tybalt beamed with pleasure. The program flickered to the next morning with Beatrix and Benvolio bickering about obsessions, and the other three telling them both off. It showed Hermia making the plans to steal the tapes, and then Juliet and Romeo discussing what to do next. It skipped some of their dialogue on the train, but played some of the highlights.

"This is the bit where I propose" said Tybalt, as it showed him reading a woman's magazine.

"Why were you reading Cosmopolitan? Were you after fashion tips?" asked Mercutio.

"Shut up, Mercutio!"

"No, ssh, we want to see this" squealed Regina excitedly. The group turned their attention back to the TV. Regina clucked and cooed as Tybalt did the asking, but then looked shocked when he mentioned _'that outfit'_

"Sorry mum" muttered Tybalt "Wear it if you want, but, er, it's a bit old and boring. And, um, you don't really want people to see you in the same outfit twice, do you? Rosaline, it's against the rules of...the fashion police!"

"Well, I suppose I could treat myself to something new, but I thought we spent all our savings on the new toaster and getting the telly repaired, from when you tried to do it yourself and almost shocked yourself"

"Shut up, it's the karaoke bit!" giggled Hermia "Listen to this!"

The group were in stitches at her and Mercutio's rendition of 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' And they laughed again when they started talking about how much they wanted to see the end product.

"Well, we are now" said Hermia. Then they cracked up at Mercutio singing 'Oops! I Did It Again' and Romeo being a sneaky little tell tale. After that, they were entreated to Rosaline, Juliet and Tybalt's bickering in the car. Romeo and Mercutio both awwed at when Tybalt said they were nasty people and cracked up when he said he peed in the fountain. Everyone laughed at the bit about Tybalt wanting to move to France and live on a farm, and Rosaline blatantly refusing. Hermia sighed of relief when the bit with her and Benvolio in the storeroom was cut. Instead they showed a film clip of the Montagues and the Capulet kids reacting to the video of Lord Capulet that had made it onto the news. Lord Capulet himself had blushed bright red, but sniggered as the Montagues became angry at their son.

"It was a joke!" protested Romeo. But he stopped his protests upon seeing his friends dressing in drag and running around Verona, harassing Tybalt, and then Hermia's shocking flash at Demetrius. The documentary also showed him saying about how 'mature' he was to Lord Capulet. That made them giggle.

Once again, it skipped Hermia and Mr. Camera Man's bargain, and instead they watched the Montagues take the kids out. For some, it was a welcome relief seeing them all get along after so much drama, and Juliet sifted as she'd got cramp in the hour that she'd been sitting still to watch. The next bit to be showed was Lord Capulet's threat to Romeo. Juliet gasped.

"I stand by that threat" hissed Lord Capulet. Then Mercutio gasped as Lord Capulet called him crazy.

"So mean" muttered Mercutio. The clip switched to the Montagues helping the Capulet kids pack up on Friday evening, and as they learnt about Lady Montague's past. It skipped Hermia and Benvolio's conversation, and they both breathed a large sigh of relief as they were no more incriminating film clips to show. Their steamy little affair was all under wraps.

Finally, it reached the end. They saw themselves arrive, and listened as they spoke of their experiments. There was a close up of Romeo and Juliet's big kiss and soft music played. Another close up was of Tybalt's face. Mercutio giggled hysterically.

"Shut up" growled Tybalt "It was a shock!"

The documentary closed with Escalus saying he believed that the experiment had been a success. Then the music played, and it was finished.

"Well, that's that" said Tybalt.

"What now?" asked Juliet.

Lord Capulet turned to Hermia "I can't believe you flashed Demetrius!"

"I can't believe you threw a party and spiked a drink and that you actually did all that stuff Tybalt says you did!" said Lord Montague to Romeo.

"I can't believe you yelled at someone, other than Beatrix!" said Anthony to Benvolio. Benvolio flushed.

"I can't believe my Tibby ate all the food you gave him. He's put on loads of weight" chirped Regina to the Montagues "He usually always gets a takeaway, don't you, sweetipops? And I can't believe he's getting married! My little baby who I used to dress up in a cat costume is going to have a wife and then hopefully maybe have his own baby!"

Rosaline spat her glass of water across the room "I don't want kids!"

"Ssh!" hissed Tybalt.

"Well, as Tybalt said, that's that" finalised Escalus "Now, are you going to call truce?"

"Yes" replied Juliet instantly.

"I believe so" added Lord Capulet "I have better things to be doing than fighting all the time. And Tybalt, you better get your butt in gear and start revising for your exams. And then we Capulets are throwing a wedding that dreams are made of"

"I want to be a bridesmaid" stated Mercutio.

"I will call a truce with you, Lord Capulet. And er, you can call me Claudio"

"And you can call me Eugene, I mean, er, EGUES!"


End file.
